Cafe-del-Lar

L&PT II/Milky Disco

2009-03-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Lindstrom & Prins Thomas II (Eskimo)

Quite apart from including one of the best freebie promotional gimmicks ever; an Eskimo Recordings/L&PT fir tree air freshener, this stunning long player firmly establishes Norway’s cosmic kings as masters of their art. Although there are eight ‘tracks’ listed in a typically surreal manner 01, 25, 42, 58, 68, 78, 85 and 92(???) when you load the LP onto real player it saves 99 tracks, some of them only a few seconds long. Unlike L&PT’s rightly acclaimed eponymous debut, L&PT II follows Lindstrom’s solo outing with little in the way of traditional song structures. This is more of a ‘cosmic symphony’ in eight parts, an often beautiful fusion of modern electronica and 70s ‘Kraut’, that repeats motifs and regurgitates chords in endless loops becoming both hypnotic and therapeutic in the process. The chugging basslines and percussion provide the momentum for the melodic synth lines yet this is not ‘dance’ music as such, more a meditative experiment in sound. Fjordtastic!

Milky Disco 2 – Let’s Go Freak Out (Lo)

I’m sure ‘cosmic disco/nu disco/no disco/nu balearic/neo discolearic’ has about another three seconds of life left before the backlash begins (infact the backlash began as soon as any of the above terms were coined) and with the likes of Mixmag getting Aeroplane to compile a ‘Disco Balearica’ mix, it’s no surprise that there’s a reaction against this ‘scene’ within a scene, if indeed a ‘scene’ it is. Yet two years after the fantastic Milky Disco 1 compilation, Lo Recording’s John Tye has brought together some of the world’s best nu-discosmiclearic musicians in another Milky Disco voyage of disco-very. Trippy and hoppy, poppy and jazzy, Let’s Go Freak Out assembles this truly global music’s premier league and channels their restless energy into two teams of eleven.

So on side 1 (the reds) we’ve got Hatchback, Pollyester, Secret Circuit. Ghost Note, Chilled By Nature, Gatto Fritto, Lukas Nystrand, Soft Circle, Black Devil Disco Club, Glass Candy and CFCF.

On Side 2 (the blues) Black Mustang/Kerrier Disrict, Soft Rocks, Pink Stallone, Canyons, Nite Jewel, Expanding Head Band, Black Devil Disco Club (on loan), Georges Vert, Chilled By Nature (recent signing), Subway and Milky Globe/Sorcerer team up.

As compilations of nu cosmodelica go, this one’s the champion’s league lid!

Feb Jukey/New Releases

2009-02-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Ein Haus Ist Kein Zuhaus – Katja (Liberty)

Ever wondered what ‘A House Is Not A Home’ sounds like in German? Well let the utterly gorgeous Katja Ebstein fill you in…..

Brown Baby/Save The Children – Diana Ross (Motown)

From the Berry Gordy produced ‘Touch Me In The Morning’ LP, Diana does a medley that matches Marv’s orchestration and emotion…quite marvellous!

Wind of Change – Hawkwind (UA)

Who’s for some original shroomadelica? Like Morricone meets Mantovani on Mars, the Hawks take you to the Hall Of The Mountain Mixed Grill kidda!

Clear As The Driven Snow – Doobie Brothers (Warner Bros)

Finger picking good – killer track from The Captain & Me LP.

Outside The Rain – Stevie Nicks (Modern)

‘It’s only ay dream?’ I used to dream about Stevie Nicks a lot and I’ll tell ya what – she couldn’t half play the banjo!

Sunshine Life For Me (Sail Away Raymond) – Ringo Starr (Apple)

A George Harrison song with the likes of Robbie Robertson, Levon Helm, Klaus Voorman and George himself helping out, this is a slice of country toe tappin’ cheese that saves Ringo’s self-titled appalling second solo outing.

The Joy Circuit – Gary Numan (Baggars Banquet)

Jaunty lickle fiddletronica tune from Gal’s overlooked Telekon LP.

Chilipoum - Manitas De Plata Et Los Plateros (CBS)

If this don’t get you clapping and flamenco stompin like a gypsy king kong then there’s fuck all down for ya.

Get Back – Rod Stewart (Riva)

Rod gives Macca’s anti-immigrant anthem a fierce, raw throated workout. Get back JoJo!

Going Down Slowly – The Pointer Sisters (abc)

As the sistas themselves sing ‘holy moly slowly going down’ – blimey! Pure raunch-disco-soul feminist call to arms don’t get funkier than this.

The Way I want To Touch You – Shirley Bassey (UA)

Lovely string laden disco-lite production with engineering from none other than Martin Rushent. Slinky baby!

Lilac Wine – Eartha Kitt (Ace Of Hearts)

Wibbly wobbly rendition of the wino’s national anthem from the original vamp. Eartha – RIP!

Couldn’t Love You More – John Martyn (Atlantic)

The big man is no more! A beautiful way to go out. RIP!

New Releases

U Can Dance – DJ Hell feat Bryan Ferry (Gigolo)

The best thing Ferry’s done for at least two decades, this epic piece of throb-core brings back memories of prime era Roxy in all their decadent glory. Taken from Hell’s latest double CD/LP ‘Tuefelswek’ (German for Devil’s work apparently).

Black & Grey Stripped Trousers – In Flagranti (Codek)

In Flagranti make neo-punkfunk the way it should be made; with no regards to structure or formality not as a rehash of tried and tested Mutant Disco templates. Returning to form with their ‘Brash & Vulgar’ LP, this track is two minutes of Nouvelle Vague naughtiness – like Breathless on crystal meth!

The Subs – From Dusk Till Dawn (Lektroluv)

Straying too far into Dutch Euro-rave for my liking (they even do a version of the Prodigy’s ‘Breathe’), this is the least ‘shouty’ tune from The Subs’s ‘Subculture’ LP. A bit tits out for the donkers but passable in an electro- minimalism stylee.

Ste's 'Everything's AOR' mix

2009-01-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

Café Del Lar – “Everything’s AOR” Mix January 09

Chicago – Prologue (CBS)
Fairport Convention – A Sailor’s Life (Island)
Bobby Charles – Smalltown Talk (Bearsville)
Joe Walsh – Mother Says (abc/Dunhill)
Camel – One of these days I’m going to get an early night (Decca)
Joe Cocker –The Man in Me (A & M)
The Walker Brothers – Den Haague (GTO)
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Poor Boy Shuffle (Pt 1) (Liberty)
Dr. Hook – I Call That True Love (CBS)
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Poor Boy Shuffle (Pt 2)/Feelin’ Blue (Liberty)
Rare Earth – I know (I’m Losing You) (Motown)
Jose Feliciano – Virgo (RCA)
Steppenwolf – Sookie Sookie (Dunhill)
Seals & Crofts – Nine Houses (Warner Brothers)
America – Muskrat Love (Warner Brothers)
Monty Python – Rock Notes (Charisma)

January Chiller Thriller - all chiller all killer

2009-01-20T05:33:00.000-08:00

10 tunes for a cosy night in kidda....

Shaday (Instrumental Long Version) - Ofra Haza (Wea)
Friends (Instrumental) - Amii Stewart (RCA)
Cold Nights In Cairo - Big Bang (Swanyard)
Screen Kiss - Thomas Dolby (Parlophone)
Found - The Beloved (Atlantic)
Windows And Walls - Dan Fogelberg (Epic)
Saturday Suit - Art Garfunkel (CBS)
Anticipation - Carly Simon (Elektra)
Jessye Lisabeth - Bobbie Gentry (mfp)
Lost Time In Cordoba - Steve Hackett (Charisma)

A Brief History Of Cosmic Disco

2009-01-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

now that we're into 2009 and so-called 'cosmic disco' is the sound of yesteryear daddio, here's an old Swine skit we did on the origins of the 'scene without a name, except someone named it the cosmic disco scene and I called it 'Scandolearic' back in 2006 and then IDJ magazine reckoned they coined that term in 2008 but really I invented that and got it copyrighted and everything with no name scene'

The History Of Cosmic Disco

In 1937, Swedish molecular scientist Lars Larsson was experimenting in his laboratory when he accidentally spilled some pickled halibut onto his copy of Dvorak’s Poetic Tone Pictures and a new form of music was invented. He called this strange mutant brew of fishy orchestral soup, Classical StinkBeat and died penniless and broken after giving up his microscope and playing the cello with a halibut instead of a bow in the seedier bars of downtown Bergen.

Fast forward 70 years and whilst on a trip to visit his Great Aunt Matilde, production whiz kid, Prins Thomas found Larsson’s epic ‘Songs For Cello & Halibut Vol 73’ in a trawlermen’s hostel. Intrigued and fascinated by this haunting fusion of instrumentation and avant-garde anti-noise, Prins turned the Lp to 45 and pitched it up to +15 on his specially adapted ‘superpitch’ mobile turntable.

Hey presto! Cosmic Disco was born. Although never referred to as cosmic disco, Prins and his colleagues, Hans Christian Blackbelt Andersson and Peter Bjorn & Lindstrom then released a 50 minute epic every other week for the next four years on a range of labels such as Smallsound Supertown, Inuit and Lazy Viking Stereotype. Then everyone got bored. However for three days in July everyone from BBC Breakfast’s Bill Turnbull to the Icelandic Minister for Fish got very excited about the sound no-one called ‘the new bleep.’

Here are five ‘cosmic’ must haves for your collections….

1 - Silent Running Soundtrack

it’s so very lonely…..with only a robot and Joan Baez for company in deep space kidda.

2 – Muppets From Space soundtrack

Gonzo & The Gang in the ‘ultimate Muppet trip’ – ya dig what they’re saying there daddio?

3 – The Clangers Music by Vernon Elliot

Not so much a record but the very soundtrack to your childhood on Johnny Trunk’s ever boss Trunk label.

4 – Wattoo Wattoo The Bird From Outer Space Theme

The Crazy cosmic bird who came to sort out the silly geese….an allegory for cold war politics or just a daft cartoon about a space magpie? Who gives a fuck?

5 – Jeff Wayne’s War Of The Worlds

Come on Thunderchild! The Red Weed and the martian massive get cracking on this still unbeatable slice of 70s sci-fi camp nonsense. Phil Lynott never sounded better.

Some tunes for Ste Connor's 40th/PJ's Pick n' Mix/Guest Mixes

2008-11-20T03:00:00.001-08:00

One half of celebrated nonentities Cafe del Lar and rabid Evertonian (are there any other type of Evertonian?), Stephen Connor reached his 4th decade on planet earth this week so here are some boss tunes to celebrate his 40th circle around the sun.

Theme One – George Martin (Circle Of Sound)
Danza Mora – Jose Motos (World Record Club)
Can’t Help Myself (Out Front Mix) – Lynx (Chrysalis)
One Love (Dance Mix) – Atlantic Starr (A&M)
Taxi Bamako – Amadou & Mariam (Radio Bemba)
Psychotic Girl - Black Keys (V2)
Listen The Snow Is Falling – Yoko Ono & Plastic Ono Band
I Betray My Friends - OMD
Molde Canticle Pt 4 – Jan Garbarek
Never Say Never – John Martyn
Beauty & The Beast – DJ Taylor
Love Aint An Easy Thing – Neil Sedaka
Call Me (Instru) – Blondie
Livin’ For The City (Bullring Mix) – Cook da Books
TVOD – The Normal
Perfumed Garden – Rah Band
Voila – Francoise Hardy
Ice Cream Van - Glasvegas
Pigs (In There) – Robert Wyatt
Time Becomes/Planet Of The Shapes - Orbital
Hatchback – Comets (Lo)
Dorothy Morrison – Brand New Day (Columbia)
Lou Reed – Street Hassle (RCA)
Bobby Charles – SmallTown Talk (Bearsville)
Van McCoy – African Symphony (T & L)
Ultra Vivid Scene – Mercy Seat (4AD)
The Commodores – Cebu (Motown)
Hugh Masekela – Don’t Go Lose It Baby (Jive Afrika)
Chicago – Saturday In The Park (CBS)
Mahavishnu Orchestra – Dawnin’ (CBS)
Jim Capaldi – Favela Music (Island)
Freddie McGregor – Big Ship (Greensleeves)
Joe Cocker – The Man In Me (Stingray)
Eddie Henderson – Say You Will (Tower)
The Emperor Machine – What’s In The Box? (DC Recordings)
Robert Palmer – Work To Make It Work (Island)
Dazzle – Reaching (Underdog edit) (Underdog)
Give Me Your Love - Curtis Mayfield (Buddah)
Standing In The Shadows Of Love - Barry White (Pye)
Yes, I Am - The Emotions (CBS)
Super-Tuff - XTC (Virgin)
Fifty-Fifty Clown - Cocteau Twins (4AD)
On Tomorrow - Captain Beef heart & His Magic Band (Liberty)
Wonderland – Joe Sample (MCA)
Sister Honey – Stevie Nicks (Modern)
Hey Girl – Jimmy James & The Vagabonds (Pye)
This Is The House (Where Our Love Died) – Three Degrees (White)
Spine Cop – Rock Workshop (CBS)
Scream (Primal Scream ) – Mantronix (10)
Casa Forte – Sergio Mendes (Hamlet)
Does Your Mama Like To Reggae – JJ Cale (Mercury)
Good & Plenty – Carolyn Crawford (Philly Int)
Too Much Attention – Gilbert O’Sullivan (Mam)
Jumping The Gun – Rico (Trojan)
Groove Check (Dub) – That Petrol Emotion (Virgin)
Just To Settle My Nerves – Charles Wright (Warner Bros)
Night Train – Steve Winwood (Island)
(Do The) Instant Mash – Joe Jackson (Hallmark)
He-O – Vangelis (Superstar)
Symphony – Marvin Gaye
Obsession (Nassau Mix) - Guy Cuevas
Loop – Tom Browne
Everything Is Neu - Hatchback
Route 101 - Herb Alpert
Grow Your Hair - Coyote
Love Emergency - Teddy Pendergrass
Clam (Kelpe Remix) - Red Snapper
50,000 Legions - Detroit Grand Pubahs
Anja’s Theme - Petar Dundov
12.01 AM (Reprise) - The Commodores
The Wolves (Act I and II) - Bon Iver
Budapest By Blimp - Thomas Dolby

PJ’s Pick & Mix Mix

Ennio Morricone – Nina Nanna Per Adulti
The Monkees – Someday Man
The Poppy Family – Free From The City
Evie Sands – Take Me For A Little While
Astrud Gilberto – Beginnings
The Left Banke – Pretty Ballerina
Dennis Wilson – Lady
Scott Walker – The World’s Strongest Man
Syd Barrett – Terrapin
Simon & Garfunkel – Punky’s Dilemma
David Crosby – Laughing
Roger Nichols – Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
The Beach Boys – Til I Die
Rotary Connection – Black Gold Of The Sun
Glen Campbell – Guess I’m Dumb
Lee Hazlewood – Hey Cowboy
Bobbie Gentry – Tobacco Road
Tim Hardin – Misty Roses
Laura Nyro – Eli’s Coming
The Free Design – Bubbles
Dillard & Clark – Train Leaves Here This Morning
Marcos Vale – The Face I Love
Roy Budd – Getting Nowhere In A Hurry

Cosmic Boogie Mix - No Notion Disco

A lickle disco/Balearic/baleario mix we knocked out for the good chaps in Cosmic Boogie wonderland.

http://www.cosmicboogie.co.uk/2008/07/guest-mix-6-no-notion-disco/

Kiki Dee - Chicago (Rocket)
Space - Carry On Turn Me On (Obsessive)
Glass Candy - Miss Broadway (After Dark) (Italians Do It Better)/Cheech & Chong - Lard Ass (WB)
Otis Clay - The Only Way Is Up (Harmless)
Herbie Mann - Superman (Atlantic)
Walter Muphy - Uptown Serenade (Private Stock)
Santa Esmerelda - House of the Rising /Quasimodo SuIte(Philips/Fauves Puma)
Evelyn King - I Don't Know (Popular Peoples Front re-edit) (PPF)
L.T.D - Back In Love Again (A & M)
The Gap Band - Outstanding (Total Experience)
Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes - Wake Up Everybody (Pt's 1 & 2) (PIR)(with the merest sliver of
Funkadelic to bridge it)

6millionsteps guest mix - Curva Nord/Fried Icecream

Here's another disco/funk mix we did for the good folks at 6MS

http://www.sixmillionsteps.com/drupal/node/72

The Guttersnipe - the worst fanzine of all time

2008-11-13T04:14:00.000-08:00

We started The Guttersnipe back in 95(ish - can't really remember the exact date) and by the time we finished doing it circa 99/2000 and began Partizan's on-line zine, we'd done 10 or so issues all of which were massively unsuccesful (do you detect a running theme here?) - however, although some of the content is pretty embarassing to look at over a decade later, there are bits worth digging out for posterity. Issue # 1 featured amongst other things :

*why we hate the british fashion mafia - an attack on the W1 fashionistas that became the blueprint for my book 'Casuals'

*fashion pieces on Kangol & Raggy

* why cosa nostra suck

* why goatees rule

* Dr John's The Night Tripper sleeve notes

* top 10 proper wenches

* retro fashion

* Jazz v rock

* style icons - dizzy gillespie

but there wer elong bits and i cant be arsed typing em out so here are a few bits n' bobs from that issue

New Mod? Old Hat! Old wave of new mod memories

* Swapping your 999 and UK Subs 45s for the Merton Parkas and The Lambrettas

* Wearing your grandad's trilby

* legging sad divvies on Yammy 150s whilst shouting 'get the rockers!'

* wishing you'd never sold your northern soul collection

* pretending to have been at Scarborough when it kicked off

* doing the 'Green Onions' dance

* trying to do a 'Jimmy' up an alley and failing miserably

* the Jam are punks/mods arguments

* talking in a ropey Cockney accent

* pretending to be on 'blues'

* robbing thousands of wing mirrors

* not knowing who The Who were

SOAP UPDATE

Backside - creepy Satanist, Edgar D. Evil continues to brainwash the Close's youth into painting occult symbols onto the sides of Farmer McMoron's sheep. Jimmy Video has taken his estranged wife hostage and is demanding three million pounds, a quid's worth of Red Leicester, two Cadbury's Cream Eggs and a plane to Douglas, Isle Of Man as a ransome. Militant black muslim community leader, Mustafa Al-Anhansen is planning a protest march to complain about the opening of a non Halal butchers on the parade. Aristocratic couple, Piers and Melinda Forbes-Cholmondeley have returned from their ski-ing holiday to find a tribe of new age travellers squatting in their palatial three bedroom semi. Union leader and All England Gay Paragliding champion, Dave Anus has been ostracised by the Residents Association after refusing chairman, Major Crabtree's advances. Quiet newcomer, Gordon Evans is secretly turning his garage into a DIY sulphate factory. The ghosts of Roman Legionnaires are still appearing at No 15.

Bellenders - Pickled turnip stall proprieter, Ernie Mash has gone gone to the toilet. Doreen Eel is minding his stall till he comes back. Alfie Pie has nipped to the bookies. Irene Whelk's laundry has gone missing. Elsie and Ronny Sausage have been arrested following a raid on their lock up. 30,000 quid's worth of counterfeit Queen Mothers have been seized. Bert Saveloy has been elected Grimford's first deaf, diabetic Communist mayor.

Cosynation Street - Teddy Boys have been causing trouble in the Ranger's Rover again. Brassy landlady, Maggie Front is having an affair with handsome cellar man, Sid Stout but there's competition from Miss Muckdale 1963, Debby Cleavage. Harold Wilson is due to pay a visit to the area and a street party to celbrate VE Day has been organised by old soldier, Bill Shrapnel. The General Strike has brought chaos to Muckdale but the locals are cheerily doing their utmost to carry on regardless. Queen Victoria's jubilee celebrations are being planned and Oliver Cromwell's Parliamentary army has been spotted five miles away.

Ozmates - Bobby's surfboard has held up the local Post Office. Noelene and Clive have eloped to New Zealand. Bowser has been pining for then, keeping shift worker Ray awake all night. Teresa's trombone lessons are causing big headaches for Don and Babs. Frank's business venture has come unstuck and Jamie's bike has appendicitis.

Playlist

Speed Up - Betty Moorer
Home Of The Whale - Massive Attack
Agony Of Defeet - Parliament
Jacob St 7am - Sabres Of Paradise
Yahoo - Happy Mondays
See The Day - Ann Consuelo
Persons Unknown - Poison Girls
Genetix - The Stranglers
Baby Sinister - Slave
For Your Love - Yardbirds
Black Spade - Jason Ryder Sound
Bunker Soldiers - OMD
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
Securicor - Crass
Wheel Me Out - Was Not Was
Vibe Da Joint - Kaliphz
Ivo - Cocteau Twins
Ten Feet Tall - XTC
Seen & Not Seen - Talking Heads
q-Mart - 808 State
Going For The One - Yes
USSR - Mr Fingers
Hellbent On Rockin' - The Shakin Pyramids

And The Beat Goes Off!

2008-11-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

Note : 'it takes a real man to admit he's wrong' (James Brown) I've deleted the offending opening note from this piece as it appears I have caused grief for people who only trying to give my obnoxious opinions an unwarranted platform - from now on I'll keep my obnoxious personal attacks on this site only......who's up for the Harvey Is Shite campaign?

And The Beats Goes Off

There is a myth, a myth it must be said among many others, that Liverpool has always been a progressive home to dance music, that its clubs have been somehow instrumental in bringing about a vibrant dance scene both locally and nationally. As someone who's clubbed in Liverpool and Manchester for the past 25 years or so, I must admit that I've always found Liverpool's music scene to be very insular, conservative and well, just not very good. The reasons for this cannot be reduced to any one single cause, yet in part I think it can be traced all the way back to Merseybeat.

The Beatles themselves of course were infatuated with black American music and yet the music they made owed far more to the Everleys than the Isleys. That raw strain of black R&B that fused with southern hillbilly folk to produce rock n' roll largely bypassed the Fab Four yet found its way into the music of The Stones, The Animals, The Who, The Faces; bands whose singers desperately affected a 'black' voice to give their music credence. Think of those great white 'soul' singers of the 60s; Van Morrison, Eric Burdon, Chris Farlowe, Stevie Winwood and even the likes of Tom Jones and Jagger at his best on say 'Get Off My Cloud' - they were all singers who wanted to sound black whereas Lennon and McCartney never did. This isn't a criticism by the way because too often these wannabe Otis's and Smokeys and Levi's mistook gravelly for sincerity and patronised the very people they attempted to impress. The Beatles wanted to be Bob Dylan far more than Bo Diddley and that early rock n' roll rawness soon disappeared by the time of Rubber Soul and Revolver.

In the wake of the Beatles success ofcourse, all the other Merseybeat bands traded on familiarity and so the open-minded fusion of source material open to young scousers in the 50s became reduced to a formulaic BeatlesBeat. This was the case in other cities not only Liverpool but the success of the Beatles elevated the city into a centre of musical importance, a city on a par with Detroit, New York or Nashville. Once a city achieves that kind of international status then the shutters come down and a cultural siege mentality sets in, often resulting in a smug complacency and an inflated sense of civic pride. I think this is what happened in Liverpool during the 60s and 70s and even into the 80s and 90s. There were exceptions ofcourse; the post-punk scene that spawned Echo, Wah, Teardrop etc was perhaps the only other golden era for Liverpool music and that was inspired once again mostly by white American acts such as The Doors, Springsteen, the Velvets. That too soon fizzled out by the mid-80s with only bands such as The Farm flying the flag for contemporary scouse pop.

Funk, soul, disco, jazz, reggae? Forget it! Liverpool was a musical ghetto by this time, with little or no cross-pollination. Driving through Liverpool in the 70s and early 80s the contrast between black and white was almost like travelling through Jim Crow era Mississippi. Segregation whether politically or socially enforced or for self-preservation and defence, created an inward looking and isolationist culture that disregarded the rest of Britain, indeed the rest of the world. The legacy of the Beatles, the success of Liverpool FC during the 70s and the cliched 'scouse comedy' antics of Carla Lane, Jimmy Tarbuck and co lead to a sense of supremacy and a romanticised and selective mythology that bands in the 80s bought into lock stock, John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Only in Liverpool could bands such as Up & Running and Groundpig immunize themselves from the wider cultural shifts in musical taste and remain popular with little or no traditional record industry resourcing or promotion. Only in Liverpool could unapologetically retro groups such as The Las and Shack claim to be flame keepers for good old fashioned trad scouse musical integrity. Only in Liverpool could long forgotten prog and psychedelic bands and artists such as Floyd, Genesis, Beefheart, Zappa and Hawkwind assume a revisionist importance. And whilst now I can appreciate that this deliberate anti-fashion stance was entirely genuine and indeed an example of scouse contrariness quite in keeping with the times (see ‘Stoner Scal Tapes’ in the archive section of http://www.swinemagazine.co.uk/), at the time it felt like a betrayal of sorts, as if Liverpool was happy enough to listen to the likes of Ian McNabb’s ropey Neil Young impression or Umma Gumma for the rest of time.

The first Liverpool club I went to was The State in 1984 and to be honest, I was immensely disappointed not only by the music but the general attitude of the clientele. My own small-town club where I collected glasses, The Cherry Tree had a more adventurous musical policy, mixing the best scouse pop anthems (Echo's 'Rescue' China Crisis's 'African & White') with electronic synth-pop and hip hop (Human League’s 'Hard Times', Whodini's 'Magic's Wand' Kurtis Blow’s ‘The Breaks’) classic funk and disco (Rick James's 'Give It To Me Baby', Funkadelic's 'Not Just Knee Deep' Gino Soccio's 'Try It Out' The Gap Band's 'Burn Rubber On Me’) with crossover monsters (The Clash's 'Rock The Casbah' The Jam's 'Town Called Malice' etc) - nowt too startling there and we certainly didn't think it was anything to write home about but once those opening riffs of say Rescue or Try It Out blasted out, the dancefloor was crammed with 400 or so young scals and scalettes. What The Cherry lacked in cutting edge music it more than made up for in atmosphere. It was both fashion catwalk and fighting arena, the girls were impossibly glamorous and unattainable. The lads were impossibly tough and aggressive. The convoluted fashions and attitudes of the ‘hip set’ who frequented those clubs that the likes of The Face and i-D celebrated meant less than zero to the way we dressed and the way we danced.

Ironically it was two scouse girls who taught me the latest moves to 'Try It Out' and by us it was definitely the scousers who were unashamed disco heads, in part because that was the music the girls danced to and therefore the music you had to listen and dance to in order to cop off, yet there was also a sincere love of disco, funk and soul with the Average White Band and Earth Wind & Fire LPs far more common in LP collections than say U2 or Big Country. I vividly remember an ex-punk mate of mine proudly showing off his Rick James ‘Streetlife’ LP to me and how I got laughed at by older ‘Simple Minds’ teds at work when they spotted Imagination’s 'Nightdubbing' LP in my bag. Disco still sucked by and large, not only in mainstream ‘Hitman & Her’ style clubs but also supposedly cutting edge venues too.

My first visits to both the Hacienda and the State in that winter of 83/84 were therefore both massive let-downs in comparison to the Cherry; the big city scenes we'd heard so much about and had expected to be blown away by were relatively timid and retrogressive to what we'd been used to. Ofcourse there were 'specialist' clubs and bars but young soulboys were limited to a few alldayers and allnighters that tended to be overwhelmingly dominated by northern soul, itself a self-contained and closed scene living on past glories and sentiments. Although I loved northern I knew that the scene was a cul-de-sac, a culture that relished not only obscurity for its own sake but cherished a musical and political purism that forever kept black American music shackled to the past. We wanted to break free from that self-imposed rigidity of thought and yet, with both the northern and southern jazz funk scenes, conservatism held sway and there was very little progression.

The Hacienda was physically and musically cold, the space too antiseptic and clinical. Post-Warhol NY industrial chic that aped Danceteria’s aesthetic with one big difference; Downtown Manhattan and downtown Manchester were thousands of miles apart both culturally and geographically. It wasn’t until the summer of 88 and the ecstatic rush of acid house that the Hacienda briefly fulfilled its promise. And this was more by accident than design. Meanwhile back in Liverpool The State was a more opulent, old fashioned dance parlour still relying too heavily on accepted musical orthodoxies. Resident DJ, Steve Proctor tried to push things forward but after requesting one song, I remember him telling me that he loved the tune but wouldn’t play it as it wouldn’t go down well in there. That was his predicament as a DJ, to keep the floor moving you had to play it safe and play to the crowd. Breaking new songs, new scenes in this climate is always difficult and reliant on the crowd entirely trusting the DJ, which is what happened in Manchester with Mike Pickering, in Nottingham with Graeme Park and in London with Danny Rampling.

Liverpool missed the boat by a good few years and although there were places such as The Underground, The Twilight Zone and later Smile and G-Love, it took a good two or three years for most venues to properly latch onto what was happening. Then of course The Quad came and later Cream and whilst both venues secured their place in popular folklore and legend, neither were exactly cutting edge, moving into the gap that other, earlier clubs had vacated. That’s not to say they weren’t good clubs in their own right, at least initially but that they achieved success and notoriety once other people had done all the hard work.

Cream especially came to symbolise the shift away from clubbing as a musical to an entertainment experience. It also ushered in a form of conservatism that eschewed radical dance and electronic progression in favour of lowest common denominator formulaic grooves. Smile had been the ‘balearic’ night in Liverpool and although it had a loyal and committed bunch of regulars, it soon became obvious that the real money and power was being invested away from niche scenes into would would become so-called ‘superclubs.’ During the 90s, clubbing became big business and everyone, the dealers, the promoters, the DJs and yes, the clubbers too wanted a part of it. This was the ‘lifestyle’ people aspired to; it was a fallacy for 99% of the punters ofcourse but the coke n’ champagne n’ Ibiza n’ Miami Utopian dream was what made DJs such as Oakenfold and Judge Jules such big names. They traded on this superstar DJ myth and in the process destroyed any credibility they once had in order to serve a demand for what became laughably known as ‘trance.’

Whether it was because Liverpool’s nightlife venues have always been largely controlled by people whose first love is not music but money and showing off, the fact that other cities of similar sizes could sustain several inter-connected or even unrelated scenes whereas Liverpool became a wasteground of cheesy chart rave and 'look-at-me' 'funky' house. OK so No Fakin and Fukd Up Ravers atleast attempted to do something different during the 90s but the crowd wasn’t there, or not in big enough numbers to sustain themselves anyway.

Chibuku and Circus followed the Cream model; they bought in big and no-one can fault their programming yet they’re not and never will be ‘underground’ no matter how hard they try. DJs and promoters who made their money in the 90s bear some responsibility for the conservatism of today’s scene. There is a fear of risk taking, a short-term profit incentive that refuses to allow nights to build and establish themselves. As a result diversity and experimentation suffer as everyone chases the easy buck. Manchester seems to be able to cope with self-sufficient specialist club nights and scenes be they hip hop, techno, drum n’ bass or ahem, ‘cosmic disco’ and at the same time provide the funky house crowd with more than enough venues to live out their Fierce Angels fantasies, why can’t Liverpool?

Gold In The Shade, Hive Collective and the forthcoming Pigeonhole Disco and Archive nights are attempting to narrow that chasm between Liverpool’s ‘underground’ and mainstream. For too many years those of us who’ve tried to put on different nights have complained about the lack of venues willing to support underground nights and about punters who go for the easy option, relying on big names who more than often take the easy buck and rest on their laurels. Yet, when it comes down to it, we all want our own slice of the pie too, we compete against each other or else we don’t bother at all. I’m as guilty as anyone in this respect, disillusion and cynicism took a hold long ago yet over the past few months, I’ve decided that maybe there is common ground between the more imaginative elements of Merseyside’s dance and electronic community, networks that can be built to bring us out of this lethargy and despondency. Liverpool’s lack of an alternative cultural infrastructure has allowed the mainstream to call the shots. A so-called ‘capital of culture’ needs to nurture and support diversity and forward-thinking strategies so that Liverpool doesn’t rely on past glories, forever re-living and regurgitating the past, a theme park karaoke parade of Mop Tops, Erics Punks, Cream Ravers and The fucking Wombats!

We don’t really want to end up Quadrant Park On Ice in five years time do we?

Original Pirate Material

2008-11-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

Original Pirate Material
Originals - Compiled by Moonboots & Balearic Mike (Claremont 56)

Described as ‘twelve rare and exclusive tracks selected by Moonboots and Balearic Mike,’ ‘Originals’ is a new series from Paul ’Mudd’ Murphy’s fantastic ‘Claremont 56’ imprint.

In those rarified ‘Balearic Network’ circles Mick n’ Moon (as no-one calls em) have achieved, if not the financial security that their taste deserves, then at least the critical acclaim of self-appointed Movers & Shakers and even Mookers n’ Shavers.

With ’Originals’ it’s easy to see why they’ve managed to achieve this level of esteem, for make no mistake, these twelve ‘jams’ (as me ma calls em) underline just how deep some DJs are prepared to dig in order to extract Balearic nuggets of rare quality. Knowing just how jealously these lads guard their sources, the first thing that amazed me was that there was a, no doubt contractually binding, playlist included, not that any normal human being would have either the time or inclination to track down most of these uberbalearobscurities.

‘Originals’ begins with Moon’s choice of Sth Notional’s ’Yawn Yawn Yawn,’ a perfect start for such a compilation. Waves wash gently against the shore as a cello and piano combine to take you on a methadone meltdown before aching spoken word vocal oozes cosmic serenity and somnambulant charm. Yawn? I almost came!

Next up is Mike’s cut; Byron’s ’Too Much’ a bouncy boogie-ish belter that gets the foot a-tapping and the chin a-stroking kidda.

Band Aid’s ’A Tour In Italy (dub)’ is another Moon sleckshun and perhaps a contender for The Most Balearic Record Ever! Glockenspiel opening riff? Check! Tinny trumpet? Check! Oozy woozy synth? Check! Bubbly wubbly bass? Check! Funky Chic riff? Check! Irritatingly catchy chorus? Check! Ludicrous foreign vocals? Checkafuckinroony! ‘By the sea, right by the sea! A big un on the Anny Road in 86 this un.

Next up Tony Esposito’s ‘Je Na’ a Mike favourite both for the man’s sartorial elegance - think Doobies era Michael McDonald meets Bob Latchford circa 76 - and the man’s undoubted way with a Euro-pop piece of Dada-ist nonsense. This is pure Alfredo era aceness with a boss break to boot.

Radio Band’s ‘Radio Rap’ is another of Mike’s selections, an Italo-rap masterpiece that provides a clue why there aren’t more Italo-Rap masterpieces out there. Put simply, Italians were not put on God’s green earth to rap and yet there is an undeniable charm in this ultra 80s sounding mock hop which was apparently tracked down via an ancient Ron Hardy mix.

Two Moon grafts next: The Night S-Press’s ‘Dance’ is a poppy gem that fuses the piano riff from The Thrashing Doves proto-Balearic stomper, ‘Jesus On The Payroll’ with a Madonna style vocal and is followed by the Midnight Express sampling dub hop of B:Dum B:Dum’s ‘Instanbul.’ Think The Scream’s ‘Loaded’ meets the Fry’s Turkish Delight advert with Adrian Sherwood producing.

For Mike’s next slab; Fist Of Fact’s ’First Strike’ the man provides copious notes regarding the track’s provenance, informing we amateur diggers that the tune is a ’lesser known gem that appeared on the b-side of a Swiss only release back in 98‘. Sounds like Sal Principato doing PIL to me, but that can only be good.

The next two tracks belong to Moon. Balearic Godfather Phil Mison’s ‘Cantoma’ alter-ego gets the nod with his usual sun-drenched compositions for string and oboe on ‘Maja (Dub)‘ bringing the compilation back down a notch or two back to the sun n’ sea n’ saucy senoritas vibe….. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, get the petherdine out Harold! Come on, Primrose, sup up, it’s time to put on Mountaineer’s ’A Town Called Ivanhoe’ and get the treasure chest out. Described by Moon as ‘Lovely, modern German bossa’ he could be referring to Jurgen Klinsmann but somehow I doubt it.

Mike then provide’s Flayer’s gorgeous ‘Wanna Get Back Your Love’ which he imagines as 10cc’s I’m Not In Love if recorded in Ibiza instead of Stockport. I kinda know where he’s coming from but to many people Stockport IS San Antonio. Whatever, it’s a suitably warm and cosy note to end on….but then as a bonus track we get Smith & Mudd’s ‘Wem’ perhaps the only down tempo funkalearic track to name check a small Shrospshire town (apart from the Wooden tops ‘Church Stretton Blues’ that is!)

All in all, ‘Originals’ is what we at Café del Lar would term ’proper old skool Balearic’ that fits together like a plate of squid and a bottle of Cava sangria with a poncho on, playing the castanets…..on a donkey…..in Ardwick! And it doesn’t get better than that!

Virus Syndicate - Sick Pay (Planet Mu)

2008-09-29T04:57:00.000-07:00

Virus Syndicate are a Manchester grime crew yet chat like they’re from Hackney not Hulme. This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. Back in the day, if British MCs adopted or imitated a style then it was almost certainly that cod New York accent associated with the best American rappers. Remember Derek B, Monie Love and all those other plazzy Bronx pretenders? Cringe worthy wasn’t in it. With the emergence of a unique British MC style allied to ragga, jungle and later UK Garage and now Grime, it appears that all regional accents and styles have mutated into a pan-British Black (Cockney) Twang. If you didn’t know that Virus Syndicate came from Manchester you’d swear they were from the same yard as Roll Deep. One line on ‘Won’t Give Up’ goes ; ‘I’m a Manchester man not a Cockney’ yet the MC sounds as Cockney as pie and mash (up).

This aside, ‘Sick Pay’ is a fantastic demonstration of just how far British MCing has evolved and improved over those two decades since Derek B and co. Instead of pretending to be something they’re not, our MCs have finally fused the best elements of their Jamaican toasting culture with the inventive rhyme schemes of US rap. What separates Grime from most US ‘urban’ styles however, is the inventive use of beats and samples. Most mainstream Hip hop and R&B remains rooted in tired grooves and familiar lyrical and musical clichés, whilst grime has carved out its own soundscapes from UK genres such as drum n’ bass and dubstep as well as hip hop and dancehall. Infact I’d go as far as saying that, at their best, our MCs offer a superior alternative to most US rappers.

And make no mistake, Virus MCs Goldfinger, JSD and Nika-D are amongst the best in the UK. The intricate, complex flows of their lyrics and the inventive backdrops provided by DJ/producer MRK1 give ‘Sick Pay’ a playfulness sadly lacking in too many so-called ‘urban’ genres. ‘Taxman Returns’ ‘Dippin’ ‘Neva Argue’ and ‘Kane n’ Abel’ meld Eastern bhangra and Arabic sounds to Spartan drum patterns and whilst this is hardly original, it suits the frenetic lyrical flow far better than all those Timbaland-lite cut n’ paste jobs. ‘Vibrator’ has a bubbling electro feel and ‘Live At The Apollo’ uses a ‘My Sharona-esque’ guitar loop to detail how the crew have evolved over the past decade. This track and ‘Neva Argue’ also get remixes from Various Production and the whole LP hangs together as a truly accurate document of modern British inner city life both lyrically and sonically. There is sex and drug dealing and getting paid and crime and boasting and all the usual stuff of rap and a life of grime but it never feels overplayed, never feels too fantastical and clichéd just VS being honest and passionate about their own skills and experiences.

As they say on ‘Infected’ “call the nurse, cos my verses are so sick, no-one can cure me, I’m honestly poorly.” Grime has indeed infected British culture and has spawned some of the most skilfull and dexterous spit merchants this country has ever produced. Many like the Virus boys matching the turbo-flow theatrics and abstract stream of consciousness of Busta or Doom. It’s good to see labels like Planet Mu who have supported the band for four years now broadening their appeal to cover grime as well as avant-electronica. More UK labels should follow their example and offer these MCs and producers the opportunity to break out of the music industry’s self-imposed ghetto.

Release date 6-10-08

Windsurf's Coastlines/Bent's Art Of Chill/CDL Jukey

2008-09-15T06:42:00.000-07:00

Windsurf – Coastlines (Internasjonal)

Nu-balearic LPs are like shite jokes about busses, you wait ages for one to come along and then two come together; hot on the heels of Hatchback’s ‘Colors Of The Sun,’ Sam Graw and Dan Judd’s respective Hatchback and Sorcerer aliases have fused for the first Windsurf longplayer. As with Lindstrom and Prins Thomas’s joint efforts, it’s difficult to see where Sorcerer ends and the Hatchback begins. To help us, each co-surfer has listed his own influences in the shape of a ‘cosmic ven diagram’; Sorcerer gives us the likes of Arthur Russell, Ned Doheney, Gabor Szabo, Hawaii, kung fu, dolphins, old drum machines, Todd Rundgren, Fleetwood Mac and Xanadu. Hatchback provides Vangelis, David Axelrod, Brains Eno, Conny Plank, ELO, white blazers, Fender Rhodes, Steely Dan, flea markets and Cluster.

Together, they are Windsurf and they make the kind of epic electronic AOR, some (OK, me!) have christened ‘Callyearic.’ As the title suggests, this records evokes languorous, hazy evenings with the waves lapping gently against the shoreline. With tracks called Moonlight Sun, Light As Daylight, Bird Of Paradise and The Big Island, you pretty know much what to expect. Returning home from a weekend in Wales with the September sunlight shining off the lakes and mountains of Snowdonia, it all made perfect sense (although the missus classed it as ‘boring’). It’s no coincidence that this LP is being released on Prins Thomas’s ‘Internasjonal’ imprint. If you’re tired of the cosmic-nu-balearic-scando-cally-earic hype, then I’d swerve this but if, like me, you find another wet and windy summer is only made bearable by music this warm and optimistic, then seek it out.

Release date – 27th October

The Art Of Chill – Bent (Platypus)

Would you buy a compilation called The Art Of Chill? No neither would I, so it’s lucky I got sent this from the good folks at epm. Bent are one of those bands who always appear on the zillions of ‘Now That’s What I Call The Very Best Of Ibiza Sunset Chill Bar Grooves 5’ CDs in Asda but that’s not their fault. Along with Boards Of Canada, Lamb, Groove Armada et al, Bent have become a Chill-By-Numbers outfit which is a shame because their music is often sublime and beautiful in its arrangement. This compilation provides a stunning insight into Simon Mills and Neil ‘Nail’ Tolliday’s tastes. Each Bent-ster (as we at Swine call em) ‘curates’ his own compilation and whilst the tone is similar on both, Nail’s is the more avant-garde and the more interesting. Make no mistake; there is music on this compilation that will amaze and surprise you, whether that’s minimal abstract classical, spooky disjointed electronica or perhaps one of the most remarkable singing performances I’ve ever heard; The Bulgarian Female Vocal Choir’s ‘Kalimankou Denkou.’ No shit! As the man says himself in his notes;

‘My old friend Katty played this to me about 14 years ago and I was sceptical at first. I’m glad she insisted because after about five seconds I was in floods of tears, I’d never heard anything before quite as beautiful.’

So, ignore The Art Of Chill as a brand name and seek this magnificent compilation out, you won’t be disappointed.

Release date – 13th October

Café del Lar Jukebox

Listen The Snow Is Falling – Yoko Ono & Plastic Ono Band
I Betray My Friends - OMD
Molde Canticle Pt 4 – Jan Garbarek
Never Say Never – John Martyn
Beauty & The Beast – DJ Taylor
Love Aint An Easy Thing – Neil Sedaka
Call Me (Instru) – Blondie
Livin’ For The City (Bullring Mix) – Cook da Books
TVOD – The Normal
Perfumed Garden – Rah Band
Voila – Francoise Hardy
Ice Cream Van - Glasvegas
Pigs (In There) – Robert Wyatt
Time Becomes/Planet Of The Shapes - Orbital

All Good - Runcorn's very own Sanctuary.

2008-09-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

The brief was simple - classic disco, funk n' soul - the DFS approach. The venue; my local' the Traveller's Rest (aka The Tup) in Runcorn, where unbelievably I had one of my best New Year's Eve's last year with local northern DJs cooking up a storm. Always a bit of a backwater, Runcorn's 'dance scene' such as it is, never really recovered from the closure of Gaz Crilly's brilliant 'Stoned Soul Picnic' nights at the Panorama and later The View if Frodsham.

Runcorn, like Widnes and Warrington has always had a strong allegiance to northern and at one point Halton (the joint borough of Widnes and Runcorn) had it's own Soul Club which basically meant local DJ and 'character' Harry Dennett persuading Edwin Starr and the like to (rumour has it) stay over at his terraced house on the Grange council estate (where I grew up) before appearing at the Queen's Hall in Widnes at various alldayers. Some of these events were great but the northern scene has always been a strange, closed world and as we realised that anything that deviated slightly from the Detroit/60s template would NEVER be accepted in such purist circles, we moved onto clubs in Liverpool and Manchester (and even places like Blackburn's Peppermint Place) where 'progressive' dance music was played.

This was the mid-80s before house totally took over and our little crew were regulars at most events in the surrounding area, especially the first Upnorth weekenders in Blackpool and Southport. And now we're all getting older and some of us have grown up kids and some of have young kids and most of us can't be arsed driving out to Manchester or Liverpool, so we make do with life in a (very boring) northern town.

Ofcourse we could've played the latest Terje remixes and deep Estonian space-disco 12s from 1978 but instead began with Barry White's version of 'Standing In The Shadows Of Love' and ended with Shalamar's 'Night To Remember.'

Inbetween there was Philly, Stax, Gamble, Atlantic, Motown, RAK (Mickey Most - Britain's Tom Moulton? We think so!), West End, Casablanca, Solar, Tamla, Jay Boy, Buddha, Fourth & Broadway, King, Ze, Verve, Direction, Salsoul, Whitfield, TSOP and Prelude; nothing too obscure (although the Eddie Kendricks instrumental version of I Am A Cider Drinker got the trainspotters pestering me for the identity of my cover-up), nothing too pretentious or conceptual, not the kind of stuff we'd really play for ourselves given a totally free reign, but hey, this is fucking RUNCORN!!

We enjoyed it, so did the crowd and even the bouncers joined in for the finale 'get ready, baaaby, tonight, darrrrlin' gonna make this a niiiiight to remeeeeemberrrr!' Now fuck off, the milkman's here!

Detroit Grand Pubahs/Rza Bobby Digital

2008-08-29T02:27:00.000-07:00

another few reviews if you be arsed.

Detroit Grand Pubahs ' Nuttin Butt Funk (Det.Ele.Funk)

Somewhere along the way techno lost da funk. I don't really know when this happened having lost interest in Detroit's 'hi-tech jazz' somewhere in the mid-90s. Bleep I could live with and whilst I admired the Cornish tech miners (Aphex, Vibert) and the likes of Autechre, Paradinas, Jenkinson, their brand of 'drill n' bass' operated somewhere on the outer reaches of intergalactic funk. Meanwhile whilst appreciating Hawtin's minimalist genius, his techwank left me cold. Jeff Mills, Carl Craig, UR all passed me by to be honest.

So, I've been attempting to re-educate myself over the past four years or so. What confuses me is all the hybrids; tech-house, intelligent glitchkore, tech-dub, booty-step, deep-click etc. But what it all boils down really is da funk. Modern funk, mutant funk, funk not as a 70s pimpsploitation cliche but as an evolving technological artform.

When the UK and Germany replaced Detroit as the centres for techno's commercial and some would say artistic centre, the circle seemed complete; Kraftwerk's Teutonic synth-funk influences black American musicians and DJs who produce their own takes on this sound and export back to the Fatherland. Yet what the music lost in this process was the essential funk of the grooves.

Nuttin Butt Funk reasserts the essence of Detroit Techno, not that it ever went away but serves as a timely reminder that for all the recent hype surrounding the likes of Villalobos et al, back in the ghettoes that spawned techno, the emphasis is still on the visceral thump thump head noddin' qualities of the music.

Beginning with the cosmic opener (costech?) track 'Skydive From Venus' with its tinkling piano and muffled bass, this LP takes in pounding tits out stompers like 'Message From Overkill' and 'Crystal', the best p-funk tune Clinton never made, 'Rollin' Paper & Bush,' the squelchy electro of 'Earth Hoes', deep tech flow of '50,000 Legions', the insane whump whump hardcore of 'ChiTown Shuffle' and several deeply silly 'skits.'

There is a seriousness to some tracks especially the Funkadelic style Rollin' Paper & Bush which takes a swipe at the cultural appropriation of black art forms, although this is balanced with the humourous (yet deeply sexist) 'Earth Hoes' and 'Butt Market.' The Grand Pubahs are not sonic crusaders like UR or Mills, they offer GettoTech that is accessible to even non-techno disciples such as myelf. Nuttin Butt Funk indeed.

Rza as Bobby Digital - Digi Snacks (Bodog)

Rappers, like squaddies exist in a state of perpetual adolescence. They appear to have rejected the usual trajectory of adulthood - responsibilities and all that boring straight shit - to indulge in a blunts n' hoes Utopia of sex n' weed on tap. OK, so most people in the music biz act in a similar way but rappers, even supposedly intelligent ones like Rza, appear to wallow in this shallow pool of decadent sensuality for far longer than most. Having a dig at Robert Diggs is hip hop heresy but here goes;

Let's begin with the artwork. The illustrated front cover sees our masked hero on a throne, surrounded by six concubines of varying ethnic origin. The usual Wu quasi-Samurai/Kung Fu adornments accompany this Digital despot and he stares coldly, dispassionately at us, like some terrible sultan about to pass sentence of death by a thousand cuts. The inside comic artwork attempts to convey some kind of dark urban narrative to the LP, as if it's a 'concept' maaan. Yet what we get is just the same old, same old. Guns n' sex n' quack science n' third rate philosophy. And it's not bad, some of it the epic 'You Can't Stop Me Now' and the superb 'Don't Be Afraid' are equal to any other Rza or solo Wu effort, it's just.....you expect MORE from Rza.

The Wu are thru! They've had their moment in the sun and for a while they were as important and vital in re-shaping hip hop for a new decade, a new generation as had been Public Enemy or De La Soul. Their problem was stretching the Rza sonic template far too wide. The initial lo-fi thrill of 36 Chambers was replaced by formula beats, familiar tricks, leaden, lazy raps. Too much of Digi Snacks is just Rza by numbers, it leads nowhere, it's a sonic, aesthetic and commercial dead end. Hip hop has always evolved to sustain itself but it seems that Rza and the entire Wu collective have simply ran out of steam. There are younger, hungier rappers and producers out there and perhaps, Bobby Digital should take a look around and y'know grow up a bit.

Hang Loose fanzine 1990

2008-08-28T02:35:00.000-07:00

Yet another of my short-lived and totally unsuccessful attempts to enter the lo-fi world of fanzine culture armed only with a marker pen, a friendly typist at work and the Dept Of Lies trusty photocopier. If I could be arsed scanning it in, I would but I can't so here are a few slected bits n' bobs from issue 2

Fashion Forecast Winter 90-91

2nd hand socks
slip-on undies
putting your hair in a bun (dig at deee-lite? can't remember)
prussian aristocrat muzzies (weatherall got the idea here)
sad cardys with maps of africa on the back (Harvey got the idea here)
sumo wrestler barnets (dee-lite again?)
dressing like a hassidic jew
violet, orange and yellow checked trews (rupert got the idea here)
fireman helmets
balloon jeans and smoothy belts
bukta trackies
Boys Brigade hats
cut-down pacamacs
digital watches that bleep
suede socks
platform slippers
adidas tattoos on your buttocks
bullet belts
camouflage staffs
double-breasted t-shirts
george best yeti beards
jummy sale parkas with no arms
skiddy kilts
'i think the poll tax is a rather good idea actually' t-shirts
CID raincoats
afro wigs

Pensionari

It's the youth cult that's sweeping the nation. Yes all across Britain kids are copying the dress sense of their grandparents for that authentic OAP look which the fashion press have Christened 'Pensionari' - out have gone hooded jeans and baggy shoes, in have come brown check suits, trilbys, scuffed hobnails and starched vests. 'Pensionari' don't drive around in flash cars, they gather at bus stops and moan about the poll tax, kids today, bus fares etc. Their favourite meeting places are post offices, cafes, poll tax demonstrations and funerals. They are vociferous and they know their rights. Top accessories include war medals, tartan shopping trollies, lethal weapon walking sticks and massive bags full of dog food, chicory coffee, butterscotch toffees, sticks of rhubarb and pig's bladders. Don't ever fuck with the pensionari or you'll get a herring slapped in your face sharpish!

No Guru, No Method, No Teacher - Hang Loose Playlist

reasons to be cheerful pt 3 - ian dury
it's her factory - gang of four
it's a love thing - the whispers
soul bongo - little stevie
scorpio - grandmaster flash
cloud 9 - the temptations
staisfaction guaranteed - harold melvin and the bluenotes
let the world wait for you - archie bell and the drells
cast a spell - the turnpikes
look through my eyes - rufus and chaka khan
lions after slumber - scritti politti
one trick pony - paul simon
rumours - hot chocolate
undercover - rolling stones
pyjamarama - roxy music
black dahlia - david toop
interference - model 500
amor amor - gipsy kings
bewildered - james brown
walk on into my heart - bobbie smith
smokey - funkadelic
theme from barney miller
i'm down - the beatles
what can i do - boz scaggs
mardi gras - lonnie liston smith
talkin all that jazz - stetsasonic
transmitting live from mars - de la soul
oasis - happy mondays
funeral pyre - the jam
dazed and confused - led zepellin

stick it all in, fuck off the purists, checkpoint charlie is no more! (ah the idealism of youth)

Are You Ready For The Crazy Sound Of Ulster?

Put on your balaclava and hijack the nearest taxi cos Ulster Beat is with us. Every day down at the docks you can see the fun-loving gangs of happy-go-lucky paramilitaries waxing their kalashnikovs in readiness for a day of surfin' and knee-cappin.' Here are some of Ulsterbeat's top records:

Surfin' UDA
Two Guns For Every Boy
Good Bomb Vibrations
When I Grow Up To Be A Terrorist

Five New Music Crazes For 1991

Indie-Bhangra - groups such as The Wedding Present, Ned's Atomic Dustbin and The Pixies will crossover/sell out by fusing their guitar frenzied rock with Indian sitars and bongos to create a totally poo musical hybrid - Top Tune : I'm Into Footy Me by Ravi Shankar feat Liu Reed and The Fall

Coma Pulse Music - New Age landscapes for people who enjoy listening to seaweed. Burnt out tossers from 1973 into synthesisers will concoct an ethereal mood music which combines life support system noises and mating dolphins - Top Tune : Cumulus Rex by Brian Eno feat a shoal of migrating salmon (think this was aimed at The Orb)

Orkney Beat - A new dance sound created when top house DJs holiday in the Orkneys and bring back the eclectic happy-go-lucky spirit of Highland Scotland to London clubs - Top Record : Straight Outa Peebles by MC Mungo McTavish feat Paul Oakenfold

Thrashrap - A musical collision of thrash metal and hip hop performed by long haired mid-west metal bands in sad trainers and Public Enemy t-shirts. Every band will have a black bass player with dreadlocks and a mad lead singer with skateboard tattoos. Top Tune : Da Bitch Done Dissed Me by Faith No More feat Saddam Husseinski

Pubadelic - Two bit pub bands with 16 year old drummers will buy lots of War LPs and sample rioting Leeds fans to produce a groundbreaking fusion of badly played Bootsy Collins basslines and Sham 69 prole vocals. Top Tune - There's Only One Georgey Clinton by Flowered Up feat Sly Stone.

Clubbed Senseless

The whole world it seems has been convinced into believing that 'clubbing' is the only relevant form of leisure-time in the 90s. Goths, doleys, estate agents, plumbers, actors, peelers, vicars...you name it, they're all participating in the latest crazzy youth phenomenon. Ofcourse back in the early 80s it was a West End clique of veteran trendys who recieved all the glory. Face, i-D and Blue Rondo types formed a mutual appreciation society and advertised their irrelevant lifestyles as some kind of recession-escapist Nirvana.

Then the acid scene dumped these self-important W1 wankers firmly on their arses and democratised the dancefloor Karl Marx stylee. The only problem now being that every Tom, Dick and Barry Grant got in on the act and the bad old days of elistism didn't seem that bad after all. An influx of dodgy indie kids, Sloanes, beer monsters and general bints was bound to cause a snobbish backlash but if we're going to return to Bob Elms types in their Telecom Des Garcons whistles ( I know the banana) supping Thai rice wine and discussing Dada, then I suggest that other avenues of leisuredom be explored. How about fly-fishing, hiking, making balloon animals, sheep farming or simply going to bed at 7.30 with a book a glass of Vimto?

Taking Penalties - How the stars do it

Mark Hughes scissor kicks it
Chris Waddle dummys it
Vinny Jones jumps on it and stabs it
Gazza stuffs it up his shirt and runs into the back of the nets with it
John Barnes runs up, falls down and claims a penalty (and gets it)
Clayton Blackmore rapes it
Peter Beardsley scares it to death
Brian McClair snots all over it
Mo Johnstone buys it a drink and then glasses it

Cherry Faves (local disco-tek's top tunes from 82/83)

african and white - chinca crisis
burn rubber on me - gap band
rescue - echo and the bunnymen
the model - kraftwerk
give it to me baby - rick james
rock the casbah - the clash
messages - omd
not just knee deep - funkadelic
magic's wand - whodini
funkin for jamaica - tom browne

August/September New Releases

2008-08-19T03:35:00.000-07:00

Hatchback - Colours Of The Sun (Lo Recordings)

Music like this and that of the Scandolearic Dons could only be made by the sea. Whether it's Samuel Milton Grawe aka Hatchback's California or Rune Lindbaek's Norway, there's the feeling of open expanses and salt air and - yawn - space! Lots of space, space inbetween the spaces, both physical and spiritual. Endless horizons and miles of desolate shoreline. After being The Sorcerer's apprentice for a while, Quick Draw McGrawe has emerged as a real challanger to Dan Judd's cosmo-cali crown with this startlingly good LP. Recording together as Windsurf, they share a similar ethos, reclaiming the AOR West Coast heritage and fusing it with Euro synth-prog to produce 21st century epics. Essential!

Release Date - 22nd September

Various - Cosmic Balearic Beats Vol 1 (Eskimo)

The original Bealric Beats Vol 1 (there never was a Vol2) was released 20 years ago in 1988 and maybe more than any other compliation, changed what we now call 'dance' music for ever. With the re-birth of interest in all things 'balearic' this release is a timely reminder that the original ethos of balearia never went away. Mixed by Skinny Joey, these tracks serve as an antidote to the likes of Fred Deakin's cash-in Nu-Balearica comp on Ministry Of Sound (are they STILL going?). Maybe it's a tribute to that original Ibizan template of togetherness that a Belgian label has served up a cracking tribute to Balearic Beats with contributions form the UK, US, Belgium, Germany and Italy. Wasn't that what Amnesia was supposed to be all about?

Release Date - 6th October

Red Snapper - Pale Blue Dot (Lo Recordings)

More fishocentric funk from the Snappers, now back to a three piece and honking that Fela-esque sax with wild abandon. After listening to nowt but nu-cosmo-balearia-space-disco for the last three centuries, Red Snapper's organic blend of afro-dub-funk-electronica comes as a bit of a refreshing change. There are even cosmic-rockabilly (cockabilly??)tinges here with dub-slap-bass action and two remixes;Subway's take on Brickred and my favourite, the Kelpe remix of Clam. This LP (extended EP really - only 6 tracks plus the two remixes) was recorded live in the studio and that really comes across with an almost freestyle/jam feel to the tracks, but ina good way! Good to have the whippersnappers back after too long an absence.

Release Date - 6th October

Thanks to Jonas at epm for review copies

Other CDL recommendations

Funky Nassau - The Compass Point Story 1980-1986 (Strut)

Been out a while this but is essential listening for anyone with even the slightest interest in the evolution of modern music. Put simply, Chris Blackwell of Island Record's Bahamian studio became perhaps the most innovative production space of the 80s with its 'drum n' bass' super-duo, Sly and Robbie, producer Wally Badarou and the creme of New York's No Wave/Mutant Disco crowd all maxing n' relaxin and soaking up the laidback Caribbean vibes. Grace Jones, Tom Tom Club, Talking Heads, Gwen Guthrie, Ian Dury, Chaz Jankel, Will Powers tracks, FK, Larry Levan mixes, dubs, 12 inch versions, obscurities, there's something different about all these tracks, even the familiar ones. Lovingly packaged with extensive sleevenotes, this is the kind of compliation that makes me weep when I see all those tacky Ibiza Bliss abortions stocked up in row after row of funky house Fierce Angel futility.

Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (4AD)

The sthick goes like this; Justin Vernon aka Bon Iver (French for Good Winter if you knock off an H) splits with bird, retreats into the wilds of Wisconsin during the winter of 2006/07 and pours his heart and soul into these nine tracks of loneliness and despair. In his freezing wooden shack, Bon kills and eats a deer to keep him going and with only the merest hint of production and 'additional recording' the songs write themselves. It's a good story and I even think some of it may be true. There's no doubting Bon's despair, each song being more or less an ode to his ex, the Emma of the title no doubt. I should hate it but there's no two ways about it, this is a beautiful record with Vernon's achingly morose voice and the spartan arrangements highlighting the minimalist 'one man and his songs' philosophy of the 'concept.' There are elements of Jose Gonzalez's stripped bare guitar style and the alt-folk-harmonics of Fleet Foxes. At times the lyrics are at once self-indulgent 'and if all your love was wasted then who the hell was I?' yet totally heartfelt. I'd advise Justin 'to get over it' but if he did, then he wouldn't have produced such a gorgeous record as this.

No Notion Disco

2008-07-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

AKA A Rainy Sunday Afternoon in Sankey Bridges, more of a selection than a mix per se;

Kiki Dee - Chicago (Rocket)
Space - Carry On Turn Me On (Obsessive)
Glass Candy - Miss Broadway (After Dark) (Italians Do It Better)/Cheech & Chong - Lard Ass (WB)
Otis Clay - The Only Way Is Up (Harmless)
Herbie Mann - Superman (Atlantic)
Walter Muphy - Uptown Serenade (Private Stock)
Santa Esmerelda - House of the Rising /Quasimodo SuIte(Philips/Fauves Puma)
Evelyn King - I Don't Know (Popular Peoples Front re-edit) (PPF)
L.T.D - Back In Love Again (A & M)
The Gap Band - Outstanding (Total Experience)
Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes - Wake Up Everybody (Pt's 1 & 2) (PIR)(with the merest sliver of Funkadelic to bridge it)

https://www.yousendit.com/download/TTdFYlJUb0JIcWZIRGc9PQ

Cuckoo Fanzine - are you balearic/Tony Wilson etc

2008-06-12T05:43:00.000-07:00

Cuckoo no 1 – Turn on, tune in & slop out!

Cuckoo was one of my many short-lived fanzines from the late 80s/early 90s. Just re-discovered in me ma’s loft, along with Hang Loose nos, 1 & 2, (yet another fanzine concept that went no further than Widnes Market), I’ve decided to put a few bits n’ bobs from both titles up on here, just to remind myself of what a whopper I was/am!

Are You Really Balearic?

(note: this was done at the time of Spice, Ophelia, Venus etc when the ‘balearic network’ was in full swing and ‘dressing up’ as opposed to dressing like a ‘scally’ had once again become the door policy for many of these supposedly progressive clubs)

Much has been written about Balearic and most of it has been Ballorocks. Is Balearic a musical genre or an attitude? How do you say Balearic? Is it Bal-ear-ic, Bal-yerrick, Bally-eric or Can-aries? What do Balearic people look like? Loads of hair and a Radion logo t-shirt? No hair at all and a Telecom de Garcons sackcloth shirt? A bit of hair on their toes and a Colman’s Mustard New Age toga? The whole point of Balearic is not to take things too seriously, so here’s my complete guide to being utterly Bal-hee-herikk (proper Minorcan pronunciation). First of all watch all the quiz shows, adverts and soaps and develop your own wacky repertoire of tacky catchphrases such as ;

“Don’t put your daughter on the stage Mrs. Worthington!”
“And remember…the clues are there!”
“Oats! Pull the other one!”
“Pooh what a smelly horse!”
“Points mean prizes.”
“Hot pot please Bet!”
“Ragu, Ragu, brings out the Italian in you!”

This stage complete, you should go about concealing your public school background by adopting an orfenic Sarf Landan accent and brill rhyming slang ie. “Me Richard’s a stylist at Victor Baboons!” Ask your parents to ‘loan’ (give) you five grand to set up your own fanzine (called ‘Smash!’), record label (Corking Platters) and promotion company (Blooming Fabbo Events). Tell all and sundry that you used to be a Dorking Town hooligan and served time with Reg Kray, Ian Brady and Al Capone. If it all goes well and you’re accepted into the Balearic mafia then memorise the following list of Balearic Essentials:

Balearic Authors :

Martin Amis
William Burroughs
Bret Easton Ellis
J.D. Salinger
Aleister Crowley
Enid Blyton

Balearic Artists :

Aubrey Beardsley
Edward Burne-Jones
Roy Lichtenstein
Gustav Klimt
Tony Hart

Balearic Films :

2001 A Space Odyssey
Scorpio Rising
Blue Velvet
A Clockwork Orange
Un Chien Andalou
Metropolis
Altered States
Pink Flamingos
Snow White

Balearic Musicians :

The Orb
Santana
Gladys Knight
Philip Glass
Abba
Curved Air
Serge Gainsbourg
Windsor Davis and Don Estelle

Balearic TV :

The Price Is Right
Through The Keyhole
Coronation St
Neighbours
The Time, The Place
The 8.15 From Manchester
Wheel Of Fortune
Pebble Mill At One
Nationwide
The Harry Worth Show

There you go then! Balearic Mafiosi types always counter the accusation of elitism with the retort that they’re only taking the piss. So the next time you get refused entry into a Milky/Slammy/Spicy/Ducky event, simply tell the door-person that you’re the lovechild of Reg Holdsworth and Nancy Noise and you’ll have no hassle….and I mean that most sincerely folks!

Cuckoo’s Nest – top platters of yesteryear

Burning Down The House – Talking Heads
Feel The Chant – Spandau Ballet
Heart & Soul (Reprise) – Great Leap Forward
Wire (Dub) – U2
Wordyrappinghood – Tom Tom Club
Kissing With Confidence – Will Powers
Tusk – Fleetwood Mac
Strut Your Funky Stuff – Frantique
Bourgie Bourgie – Gladys Knight
Upside Down – Diana Ross
Undercover – Rolling Stones
Landscape – The Mohawks
Funk 49 – The James Gang
Make Me Smile – Chicago
The Crunch – Rah Band
Magic Fly – Space
Hard Times – Human League
Lifetime Love – Joyce Sims
Cold Getting Dumb – Just Ice
Follow Me Follow You – Genesis

Greavsie’s A to Z of Culture

(note Jimmy Greaves was the ‘outspoken’ ie bigoted, former alcoholic pundit on ITV’s Saint & Greavsie football show and prone to loony anti-lefty diatribes on TV and via his Sun column)

A is for Art – paintings and stuff
B is for Ballet – a load of puffs dancing
C is for Cinema – Patrick Swayze films and that
D is for Dada – Experimental German art school of the 1920s
E is for Existentialism – err!!!
F is for Freud – shagging and stuff
G is for Greek Civilisation – I like a few weeks in Rhodes
H is for Hamlet – I prefer Castella myself
I is for Impressionists – Bobby Davro and that lot
J is for Journalism – I write for The Sun
K is for Kafka – brilliant Czech novelist author of Metamorphosis
L is for Lagerfeld – I don’t touch the stuff any more
M is for Mondrian – my grandson could paint better than that twat
N is for Nobby Stiles – toothless hero of England’s 66 World Cup squad
O is for Opera – fat Italian bastards singing
P is for Pianists – like Chas and Dave
Q is for Queen Elizabeth – God bless yer maam!
R is for Roland Barthes – I new his brother, Municipal
S is for Shelley – workshy sit-com star played by Hywell Bennett
T is for Tennyson – I hate that Boris Becker!
U is for Umberto Eco – Italian metaphysical novelist, author of The Name Of The Rose
V is for Verdi – as in lasagne
W is for Wordsworth – he wandered lonely as a cloud. Prick!
X is for Xylophonists – Patrick Moore for example
Y is for Yeats – Liverpool defender of the 60s
Z is for Zen Buddhism – Oh fuck off and put Russ Abbott on!

10 Unusual Destinations For Your Foreign Rave Trip

Oumel-Bouaghi – Algeria
Cochabamba – Bolivia
Plzen – Czechoslovakia
Olafsfjoerdur – Iceland
Balik Papan – Indonesia
Antananarivo – Madagascar
Janakpur – Nepal
Pingtung – Taiwan
Chililabombwe – Zambia
Yap – The Federated States Of Micronesia

10 Wacky Venues For Your Invites Only Party

In your nan’s attic
Half way up Ben Nevis
Inside the belly of a whale
Underneath a particularly large cow
At a Boy’s Brigade bring n’ buy sale
On a Manchester Ship Canal dredger
In a chippy
3000 feet down a disused Cornish tin mine
In the bonnet of a Hillman Imp
At your mum and dad’s 25th wedding anniversary

10 strange things to wave above your head whilst dancing

An ostrich
A set of encyclopaedias
An inflatable dinghy
A life-size replica of the Elephant Man
A Black & Decker hedge-trimmer
A No Left Turn sign
Jim Bowen’s scalp
A 30 piece stainless steel cutlery set
The entire Tottenham Hotspur football team
The remains of a half eaten hippopotamus

10 names pop stars give their kids

Neptune Geronimo
Tostig Butterfly
Zachariah Moonboot Junior
Petal-Delicate Rainshower
Oxo
Billy Agamemnon
Mozart Amplifier Reverb Monitor
Ernie
Candlewax Bunty Flip-Flop
Organa Celery Herbivore

A Man For All Schemings (A Nightmare On Whitworth Street)

(note ; this was written just after the Hacienda had re-opened for business after the whole gangster closure fiasco – it was sent to Wilson himself who returned it with comments such as ‘bullshit’ scribbled on in red ink.)

Call him Tony! Call him Anthony! Call him Mr Wilson! Call him wanker! Call him whatever you like, the World’s Greatest Living Mancunian doesn’t give a flying fish. A man of many guises, this supremely self-confident – arrogant if you like – man plays different roles depending on his audience. Put him on Yoof TV and he’s the street smart patron of the dance scene, put him on a business programme and he’s the hard-nosed corporate supremo, put him on something arty and he’s the dialectical scholar. Stick this man anywhere and he’ll adapt, a smug chameleon in a 700 quid suit.

As boss of Factory Communications, Wilson has built up one of Britain’s largest independent music and media empires and, so he maintains, invested in his hometown’s economy, increased it’s cultural importance and cocked a snook at self-important, lethargic old London Town. Tony makes grand claims on behalf of his company but are they really worthy of the appreciative slap on the back that he so evidently feels they deserve?

In 1989, ‘Madchester’ that ill-defined, misunderstood movement made front covers not only in the British music press but also in foreign current affairs publications. But who had most to gain from this new freaky youth phenomenon? Mr A. H. Wilson of course. The scene’s leading band, The Happy Mondays were signed to his label and its spiritual home, The Hacienda, was his club. No wonder then that he engineered a farcical incident at the 1990 New Music Seminar by provoking black US techno-crats in the infamous ‘Wake Up America, You’re Dead’ debate. Madchester needed US exposure and Tony Wilson, the arch media manipulator, was determined to get it. He got it alright but the gap between his wayward champions of urban UK rock, the Mondays and suburban US rock was too great a gap to span and the kids of Kasey Kasem stuck with bands who had curly perms and wore leather pants.

At home meanwhile, Madchester was fast becoming an embarrassment. National tabloids were publishing their own cut out and keep guides to the scene, getting the parlance, fashion and music all hilariously wrong. Like Swinging London before it, Madchester had become a mythical creature, unrecognisable to those who had created it. Bands began to distance themselves from the whole thing, fearing the inevitable backlash and places The Hacienda and Affleck’s Palace became tourist attractions for those in search of the legendary Manchester vibe.

In this respect, Wilson’s hype backfired on him as disenchanted Manchester clubbers felt the Hacienda had lost its credibility and deserted in droves. This wasn’t the only reason why they went elsewhere though. Many regulars had become disillusioned by the Draconian door policy adopted by the club during its battle with the Greater Manchester Constabulary to keep its licence. Ostensibly this policy was implemented to prevent drug taking and selling inside the club and the bouncers were under orders to refuse entry to so-called ‘undesirables.’ This resulted in arbitrary refusals for both first time punters and hardcore regulars alike, so Manchester clubbers voted with their feet and moved onto other clubs instead,

Potentially the threat of becoming unfashionable was worse than the club’s licence being revoked. Enforced closure meant certain martyrdom whereas voluntary closure could prove an opportunity to make headlines and re-think strategy. And so, after fighting off James Anderton and his Puritan Yeomanry, Tony Wilson closed the Hacienda of his own accord in a blaze of publicity. The official reason for this unexpected event was that the lives of the club’s employees had been threatened by local gangsters. There was no denying the fact that Manchester did have a serious gang problem and that they already controlled the doors of other city nightclubs. However cynics felt that the Hacienda’s problems had been blown out of all proportion by the club’s management to smokescreen dwindling attendances. The skilfully handled press conference given by Wilson made it clear that we were witnessing the end of an era; the Cavern of the 80s was shutting up shop…but not for long.

The Hacienda dramatically reopened several months after closing. Apparently the gang warfare which only weeks ago had forced the club’s closure no longer posed a problem. This was a surprise to those people who were bombarded with ever worsening tales of Manchester’s internecine gang war, which was at its height at the time of the re-opening. Konspiracy, the club which had taken most of the Hacienda’s clientele had itself been closed due to an overbearing gang influence. This left a gap in the market and, whether it was coincidental or not, the all-new-metal-detector-no-drugs Hacienda filled a void.

That’s business, and whatever else he is, Tony Wilson is a businessman first and foremost. Factory isn’t a philanthropic enterprise run on behalf of your average-bloke-on-the-street, it’s a profit making venture. So they’re still based in Manchester when they could be in London or New York. Big deal! So they’ve opened a club and a bar in over a decade of business. Thanks a bunch! Why do they feel that they’re doing everyone a big favour by simply existing? Let’s face it, the unemployment figures wouldn’t exactly hit the roof if they uprooted.

Recognition where recognition’s due though. The Hacienda’s place in popular youth mythology is not only assured but deserved and I’ve spent many memorable nights there myself. Self-importance however, breeds a smug sense of superiority, which eventually leads to complacency and decline. No-one can take things for granted these days and the world is music is a notoriously fickle one in which to do business, as Factory, I’m sure, are only too aware.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t help admiring him. Call him Granada’s smirking granddad, call him rave culture’s Rupert Murdoch, call him the most hated man in England. Call him anything you like, the World’s Greatest Living Mancunian can rest easy in the knowledge that he’s Anthony Wilson and you’re not.

Special Hard-Up Factory Bargain Box Set Only £45 featuring all your faves…..again!!

Love Will Tear Us Apart; The L.S. Lowry Doom & Gloom 90s Remix
Blue Monday : One more time with a toss video mix remix
Wrote For Luck : The off it’s box everyone on stage dead live mix.

The Fall - The Man Who's Head Expanded

2008-05-09T03:06:00.000-07:00

The Fall - Imperial Wax Solvent (Sanctuary)

Another year, another fucking Fall LP. With the publication of Mark E. Smith’s ‘autobiography’ and his worrying transformation into Shane MacGowan style drunkard icon, maybe it is time for fans and the band themselves to decide what the point of The Fall is.

Now, ever since Bingo Master’s Breakout I’ve been in love with the idea of The Fall rather than the reality of their music. MES’s messianic mantras spoke to those working class kids who were well read and well versed in the classic rock cannon, who knew their Burroughs and their Beefhearts but who were patronised by middle class musicians and music journalists. Smith’s contrary bigotry and aggressiveness, was designed more to provoke the liberal music press than anything else. He’s always played the role of the prole sage, the pisshead poet and reactionary rabble rouser and in doing so, has alienated band members and friends as much as the despised journalists he loves to wind up.

There’s no point attempting to analyse Smith’s lyrical hieroglyphs because he’d only sneer at such a futile exercise; he has been perverted by language and speaks only to and for himself and that’s fair enough. Yet, we can judge him and his band on their music and whilst there are moments of brilliance on Imperial Wax Solvent (see what I mean? De-cypher that fools!), there is too much on here that is simply The Fall knocking out more Fall Songs for Fall Fans with little deviation from the classic Fall formula. Which is like complaining about bread for tasting like bread I suppose.

It begins well enough with the creepily free-form Alton Towers, the ghost of Smith’s brilliant Von Sudenfed side project haunting the eerie electronic ether. But then it’s back to Fall Business As Usual. Wolf Kidult Man is typical Fall; all four four stomping drums, relentless garage riff and nonsensical Smith-isms ‘where is your momma, your power is gone!’

50 Year Old Man finds his phlegmy delivery first aired on Reformation’s ‘Over! Over!’ back and Mark sounds every day of his 50 years, growling and grumbling like the grumpy old punk he is. On and on and on he goes, informing all and sundry ‘I’m a 50 year old man’ like some OAP constantly telling you how old he is, as if staying alive in itself is some kind of achievement. After four minutes of non-stop ranting the track suddenly lurches into a banjo pickin’ hillbilly boogie before Mark begins again at half speed ’and don’t forget you tried to destroy me’ he spits, his paranoia trailing off into a fatalistic, confrontational reproach to anyone who has ever doubted him and his art (maaan). He’s a 50 year old man and he likes it, he’s a 50 year old man, what’re we gonna do about it? Er, fuck all mate. There follows an instrumental interlude and yet another song begins but it’s the same song, this is ProgFall. All in all 50YOM lasts for over 11 minutes. Infact he’s a 53 year old man by the time it ends.

I’ve Been Duped continues this ’the whole world’s against me’ tirade, this time with Mark’s latest female disciple, Eleni Poulou on vocals, doing what she did on The Wright Stuff. Like Rotten’s ‘ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated’ it rails against foes both real and imagined. It’s stated as a MES only composition yet its structure is perhaps the most traditionally poppy with y’know rhymes n’ shit. Maybe it’s meant for the charts, but if so, it’s no Hey Luciani.

Smith’s wobbly up n’ down singing style returns for a cover (about as committed to singing as he ever gets), this time on Strangetown detailing a love/hate relationship with some place that could be Los Angeles or Lower Broughton. Cosmic tumbleweed sounds blow through the streets where ‘the birds are too scared to fly.’ Definitely Salford then.

Taurig sounds like Raven era Stranglers meets Stephan Bodzin, a whispered vocal barely audible beneath the synth waves. It is fantastic.
Can Can Summer’s minimal duet with MES and Mrs and overlaid vocals ‘you are no dog’ he tells her. 'The town is anti-life, time to change back.’ Urban alienation, de-evolutionist social commentary or just the usual random words and sentences that sound meaningful but could just as well be meaningless?

At least it’s multi-layered and tech-y flirtations provide something different but then with Tommy Shooter we’re back on familiar territory. With lyrics like ‘chickens coming home to sit on your shoulder bone/ Painting yellow flowers after blowing away another balloon string/The rubbish piles up in the corridor.’ it could be an ode to a local ‘Life Of Grime’ character or just another Smith grotesque. Who cares? I have fell into the trap of attempting to decypher the words of a poet. And Smith IS above all a poet. Along with fellow Salfordians, Shaun Ryder and John Cooper Clarke, MES manages to project humour and menace in equal measure; there's definately something dark and deformed lurking in the Irwell, ready to bite anyone foolhardy enough to attempt safe passage across its slimey, sarcastic and scum encrusted waters.

Latch Key Kid begins with a bassline growling and several MES vocals stylings overlapping ‘I like to relax with tobacco and sugar’ the synth repeating the endlessly repeated ‘I’m a latch-key kid’ sloganeering. It becomes MESmerising after a few minutes but then so did the test card.
Is This New answers its own question. No, it’s the same old Fall Sound with Smith reciting one of his cut n’ paste short stories to a sprightly blinka-blink riddim. Instead of attempting to justify himself maybe Mark would be better just releasing a book of lyrics and have done with it. Take Senior Twilight Stock Replacer for example. That almost sounds like a parodic Fall title as spewed out by a Random Fall Album Track Title Generator, much like Imperial Wax Solvent itself. The imaginary job title is chanted by the whole band as if by repeating those four words they take on sinister alternative meanings or hint at hidden depths.

Closing track, Exploding Chimney erupts with stabbing metallic cut-finger chords and Banshees type shapes mutated by Smiffy’s mumbled vocals. As he says at the end with his parting shot ’he’s seen it all.’ Maybe he has and maybe he’s got nothing left to say.

As with last year’s ‘Reformation Post-TLC’ I found myself liking the songs that sounded least like the Fall which perhaps tells its own story. Much as I admire Smith’s refusal to be the media’s pet prole intellectual, he often lapses into self-parody. MES the mess; the snarling, tap room philosopher always with a sneering insult or epigram to hand. He’s obviously far more open-minded and open to new ideas than he lets on. He’s gone past the stage of proving himself a long time ago and with all kinds of people, young and of his own generation queuing up to work with him, perhaps Mark needs to break out of his own self-imposed musical and lyrical ghetto before he ends up like Morrissey.

Cafe del Classics # 3 - Central Heating (Grand Central, 1996)

2008-05-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

Post-Madchester, Manchester’s music and clubbing scene was in the doldrums. The party was over and a sense of despondency had set in, as happens whenever any city scene captures the imagination of the pop world; think Liverpool post-65, London post-68, San Francisco post-70 or New York post-82.

Into this void stepped Fat City, a loose collective of hip hop-centric musicians, record label owners, Djs and promoters with a mission to put a spring back into Manny’s worn-out step. Exiled ‘Geordie’ (the kind of Geordie who has a public school accent) Mark Rae was the catalyst for much of this, opening the The Fat City record shop and the Grand Central record label as well as promoting various nights in the city. OK, they were by and large suburban white middle-class kids but their love for black American music was sincere and at least something was happening.

I remember going to the label’s ‘No Half Steppin’ nights and, after almost a decade of house music dominance, it was refreshing to hear a variety of different musical genres under one roof, indeed in one DJ’s set. Hip hop, funk, soul, boogie, jazz, latin, drum n’ bass all coalescing into a unified groove that transcended racial and cultural barriers. The fact that our mates were break dancing (still NOT revived at that time) there also told its own story; hip hop and the original ethos of Peace Unity Love & Having Fun was back, Jack!

Released in 1996, Central Heating was a showcase for this new cabal of beat finders and groove makers. They’d already released the Frying The Fat compilation a year earlier featuring tracks from Aim, Funky Fresh Few, Tony D and Rae & Christian, but Central Heating managed to surpass that and almost anything else available in the UK at that time. It wasn’t just the crystal clear production and the diversity of material on show, it was the sleeve-art, the confidence, the abstract feeling that, at last Manchester and indeed British music was moving forwards again, not relying on or copying Americans.

In rock, Oasis and the so-called Britpop phenomenon was making headway against US grunge but all that was a diversion, it was obsolete music made by obsolete musicians for traditionalists and Luddites. In the digital ‘real world’ THIS was Manchester’s true contribution to 90s music.

Hip hop remained at the core of Central Heating but only as a raw ingredient, the basis for a myriad of flavours. Essentially it all boiled down to the drum machine and the layers of sound added to it. Whether it was the ‘northern sulphuric soul’ of Rae & Christian’s still spine-tingling ‘Spellbound’ or the Evel Knievel hillbilly cut n’ paste of Aim’s ‘Original Stuntmaster,’ the slo-mo jazzy patter of Only Child’s ’Rain’ or Andy Votel’s creepy ‘Hemlocka,’ the luscious slo-jam soul of Scruff‘s ‘Gotta Have Her’ or the straight ahead party jams of Tony D’s ’It’s Times Two’ or Funky Fresh Few’s ’You Mean Fantastic’ there’s not one bum track on the three slabs of heavy duty vinyl (even then CDs were anathema for diggers and divvies, bonus tracks or not).

Soon a whole host of inner-city British ‘beats’ labels would spring up, capitalising on the late-90s boom for shitty sampladelic Fat Boy Slim copycats. In truth it was a pretty dreadful time yet Central Heating remains as one of, if not the best example of truly modern British music and restored a little faith in Manchester as a centre for forward-thinking, self-confident creativity.

Lovefingers? Hatethumbs!

2008-04-15T03:10:00.000-07:00

For those yet to sample the delights of Lovefingers - a website devoted to unearthing obscure musical gems on a daily basis and providing them for you or I or yer Uncle Tommy doing a five in Walton for twatting that midnight who blew up his Spanish baccy fiddle to listen to free of charge - this is our less technologically advanced version, hilariously entitled Hate Thumbs.

That's about as funny as a joke about finding the chief constable of Manchester dead at the foot of Snowdon with a punchline that goes 'pigs can't fly.' Anyways we've cobbled together a bunch of tunes from various CDL playlists and mixes which you CAN'T fucking download for nish because that takes time and energy and possible legal agreements with various publishing companies and who can be arsed with that? But if we could do something similar to the marvellous Lovefingers (www.lovefingers.org), then these are some of the tunes we'd put up.

LOVE FINGERS

Night Of The Hunter’s Moon - Sally Oldfield (Bronze)
Tomorrow I May Not Feel The Same - Gene Chandler (Chi-Sounds)
These Are The Laws - Judy Tzuke (Rocket )
Cucumber Garden - China Crisis (Inevitable)
Bullet - Renaissance (Island)
Little Red Fry-Up - Greenslade (Warners)
Slow Down - America (Warners)
Sealed With A Kiss - Jim Capaldi (Polydor)
Trash 2 - Roxy Music (Polydor promo)
One Minute More (Version) - Tony Gee (Mass Enterprise)
We Can Make It Happen (Sexy Licks Mix) - Prince Charles & The City Beat Band
Thinking About Your Love (Instru) - Skipworth & Turner (4th & Broadway)
Only Praise (Laker Boy Mix) - Praise (Epic)
Casual Ocean - Ananta (Touchstone)
Why Can’t We Live Together - Sade (Epic)
Osamu’s Theme (Kyoko’s House) - Philip Glass
Another Willingly Opened Window - Bill Nelson (Mercury)
VCL XI - OMD (Dindisc)
Baby Dub - Charles Augin (Malaco)
Fast Car - Foxy Brown (Charm)
Year Of The Cat (album version) - Al Stewart (RCA)
Blue Café - Style Council (Polydor)
Blue Riff - Stanley Turrentine (Blue Note)
Vjento Del Arena - Gipsy Kings (Telstar)
Sweet Revenge - The New Tony Williams Lifetime (CBS)
I Want You - Carmen McRae (Atlantic)
Do It Do It - Rose Royce (Whitfield)
Lay It Down - Demis Roussos (Philips)
Let’s Turn Out The Lights - Charles Aznavour (Mfp)
Let’s Love & Feel Free - Candi Staton (Sugarhill)
Lovers (Live A Little Bit Longer) - Abba (Vogue)
Yassassin - David Bowie (RCA)
Sky – Xango
Emerson Lake & Palmer – Take a Pebble
Shakti – Bridge of Sighs/George Carlin – People I Can Do Without
Peter Green – Skabo Day
Clive John – Summer Song
Focus – Crackers
Curved Air – Back Street Luv
John Martyn – Big Muff
The Neville Brothers – With God On Our Side
Traffic – Don’t Be Sad
Alan Parsons Project – Dream Within A Dream
John Travolta – Easy Evil
Nazareth – Morning Dew (Prins Thomas Edit)
Lynsey Buckingham – Johnny Stew
The Beach Boys – Long Promised Road
London Symphony Orchestra – Life On Mars
A Foreign Place - Japan (Hansa)
Secret Party - Masami Tsuchiya (Epic)
On My Own (Robin Guthrie version) - Ulrich Schnauss (Independiente)
All Of Me - Swell Session v Mark De Clive-Lowe (Freerange)
Be Suspicious - China Crisis (Inevitable)
Discover Your Life - Stylus (Prodigal)
East 6th St - Aquarian Dream (Buddah)
Sittin’ In The Park - Bobby Thurston (Epic)
Swimming (Dub Mix) - Nick Holder Feat Zaki (NRK)
Open Your Heart (Dub) - Madonna
Murphy’s Law (Instru) - Cheri (Venture)
Trust In Me - Vicki Sue Robinson (RCA)
Crocodile (Innervisions Orchestra Mix) - Underworld (Different)
Salacid - Luke Vibert (Planet Mu)
I’m Corrupt - Kid Creole (Ze)
Come On - The Real People (CBS)
Straight Lines - Suzanne Vega (A&M)
Attitude Dancing - Carly Simon (Elektra)
Letting Go - Wings (Capitol)
An infinite number of monkeys - Bob Newhart (Warners)
No Sound In Space - Tomita (RCA)
Bliss - Chick Corea (Happy Bird)
Twilight Of Idols - Fashion (De Stijl)
Inspiration - Grace Jones (Island)
Je T’aime (Moi Non Plus) - Donna Summer (Casablanca)
At Tension - Hall & Oates (RCA)
Floating Seeds - Ozric Tentacles (Snapper)
Fohat Digs Holes In Space - Gong (Virgin)
Moongerms - Billy Cobham (Atlantic)
Jacaranda - Sailor (Epic)
Toyota City - Human League (Virgin)
Herbie Hancock - The Eye Of The Hurricane (Blue Note)
I Feel Sanctified - The Commodores (Motown)
Space Princess - Lonnie Liston Smith (Columbia)
Big Change In The Weather - Gerry Rafferty (UA)
More Girls - Moments & Whatnauts (All Platinum)
No Matter What Sign You Are - Diana Ross & The Supremes (Motown)
Tell The Truth - Ike & Tina Turner (Warner Bros)
The Burning Sword Of Capua - Triumvirat (Harvest)
Don’t You Feel Small - The Moody Blues (Threshold)
Naked - Shackleton (Skull Disco)
Happy Monday (September Mix) - Undo (Factorcity)
I Remember You - The Eurythmics (RCA)
Italian Song - Jon & Vangelis (Polydor)
Fisherman’s Daughter - Daniel Lanois (Opal)
Wholly Humble Heart - Martin Stephenson & The Daintees (Kitchenware)
Only Love Can Break Your Heart - Elkie Brooks (A&M)
In A Stranger’s Arms - Yvonne Elliman (RSO)
Day Or Night - Little Feat (Warners)
Affirmation - George Benson (Warners)
The Hustler - Crusaders (MCA)
Watch It Go - Summer (Touchstone)
Zambo Montuno - Daiquiri (Sono-tone)
White Witch - Andrea True Connection (Buddah)
Magnetic Fields Part 4 - Jean Michel Jarre (Polydor)
Let It Happen (Instrumental) - Lindstrom (Feedelity)
River People - Weather Report (CBS)
Outer Space - Atmosfear (Elite)
Cicero Park - Hot Chocolate (RAK)
Life’s A Beach (Todd Terje mix) - Studio
Starry Eyes - LCD Sound system (DFA)
Let’s Go All The Way (Diamond Dub Mix) - Sly Fox (Capitol)
The Gospel (Instrumental) - Dizzi Heights (Parlophone)
Crimson As Murder (Punks Jump Up Can U Dance Remix) David Gilmore Girls (Relish)
A Brass Band In African Chimes - Simple Minds (Virgin)
Don’t Burn Down The Bridge - Gladys Knight & The Pips (Buddah)

HATE THUMBS

Lindisfarne - Clear White Light
Caravan - Aristocracy
The Higsons - Touchdown
Silver Apples - A Pox On You
Bill Hicks - LA Falls
Incredible String Band - Water Song
The Yardbirds - White Summer
Mercury Rev - Lincoln’s Eyes
D’arcangelo - Stepping Out
Aril Brikha - Anna’s Theme
Laurent Garnier - M-Bass
The Jam - Ghosts
Fun Boy 3 - The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum
King Biscuit Time - Kwangchow
Lenny Bruce - To Is A Propisition, Come Is A Verb
Urban Tribe - Frequency Scan
Aleksi Perala - Black Leicester
Ceephax - Dreamer
Four Tet - My Angel Rocks Back & Forth (Icarus Remix)
Technasia - Eternity Is Almost Forever
Mudd - Crayfish & Deer
Lindstrom & Prins Thomas - Nummer Fire To
Andreas Vollenweider – Over the Wall, under the gardens, behind the tree
Dufus – Right On
Seals & Crofts – Sweet Green Fields
Paul Simon – Diamonds (Terje Dub)
Akabu – Akabu Theme
Simply Red – Love Fire (Big Red Mix)
Jerry Harrison – Worlds In Collision
George Carlin – People I Can Do Without/Steve Hillage – Octave Doctors
Map of Africa – Bone
Cal Tjader/Charlie Byrd – Tambu
The Sorcerer – Surfing At Midnight/Cheech & Chong – Lardass
A R Kane – Love from Outer Space
John Paul Young – Standing In The Rain
Magick Edit Allstars – Voices
Beyond The Wizards Sleeve – Bubble Burst
Mary McCaslin - Blackbird
Mtume - Breathless (Intro)
Dead Can Dance - Music Eternal
Roxy Music - Sultanesque
Giorgio Moroder - Leopard Tree Dream
Hawkwind - Opa Loka
Eurythmics - Monkey Monkey
Fehlfarben - Jar Jar (Es Geht Voran)
Des Allstar - Gone West
ROC - Cheryl
Gramme - Rehab
Steve Hillage - Unidentified (Flying Being)
Patrick Moraz - Impact
Fashion - Alternative Playback (Full Frame)
Dance Disaster Movement - The Shots
D.A.F - Der Rauber Und Der Prinz
Tangerine Dream - Fly & Collision of Solas
Propaganda - Dr Mabuse (A Snatch Thereof)
Mark Stewart - Contagious
Wendy Carlos - William Tell Overture (Abridged)
Les Nouvelles Polyphonies - Introitu
Daniel Lanois - Still Water
Tommy Guerrero - 100 Years
Cat Stevens - The Hurt
Steve Winwood - Spanish Dancer
B+ - B Beat Classic
Carole King - Spaceship Races
Robert Wyatt - To Mark Everywhere/Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Money Mark - Maybe I‘m Dead
Herbie Mann - Toot Stick
Coldcut - Autumn Leaves (Irresistible Force Mix)
Horace Andy - Girl I Love You
Jon & Vangelis - State of Independence
Steely Dan - Black Cow
Rhythm Heritage - Skippin‘
Demis Roussos - Let It Happen
High Feelings - Leave Norway
Thompson Twins - Vendredi Saint
Parliament - Presence Of A Brain
Neil Diamond - Crunchy Granola Suite
Steve Miller Band - Wild Mountain Honey
Poco - Sitting On A Fence
Sutherland Bros & Quiver - When The Train Comes
The Mighty Flyers - Blood For Blood
Four Seasons - New York Street Song (No Easy Way)
Steely Dan - FM (Reprise)
Peter Frampton - Doobie Wah
Cher - Flashback
Little Feat - Two Trains
The James Gang - Walk Away
ELO - Last Train To London
Billy Joel - Get It Right First Time
The J. Geils Band - Flamethrower
Boz Scaggs - Lido Shuffle
10cc - Blackmail
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around The Bend
Chicago - What’s This World Coming To
Bread - Fancy Dancer
Dr Hook - Doin’ It
Robert Palmer - Fleshwound
Elkie Brooks - Nightbird
The Alan Parsons Project - The Voice
America - Sandman
Wishbone Ash - Time Was

Allez Allez

2008-04-14T03:57:00.000-07:00

Best Of Allez Allez - Allez Allez (Eskimo)

Only the other day I bought a ropey compilation, mainly for a Vince Montana track but the stand-out tune was Allez Allez’s ‘Flesh & Blood’ with its ‘You Should Be Dancing’ horn coda and early 80s scratchy white funk. To be honest, Allez Allez must’ve passed me by, so I did a spot of googling and youtubing and the very next day this compilation was posted from the good people at epm. Serendipity? Co-incidence? Or something much stranger? Who gives a fuck?

Anyways, this compilation is a must for anyone with a penchant for post-punk faux funk. Opener, African Queen sounds so much like Grace Jones circa Nightclubbing that I think it’s perhaps a tribute to Queen Grace herself.

Allez Allez has a lyric that sounds like “Help me, help me, Gary Barlow!” I’m sure it doesn’t say that but it should. It’s ace and gets two remixes from heroes of the hour, Aeroplane and Lindstrom & Prince Harry of Helmand.

She’s Stirring Up has elements of Debbie Harry’s shite rapping on Rapture set to a frantic Haircut 100 backbeat whereas Marathon Dance is Defunkt meets the Gang Of Four with a splash of Talking Heads thrown in for good measure.

Turn Up The Meter is a Rip Rig & Panic meet UB40 style groove and Valley Of The Kings is the sort of corny cod-Egyptian concept track T‘Pau would‘ve based a whole double album around.

Wrap Your Legs (Around Your Head) is of course a play on the Gap Band’s ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ but in its delivery sounds far closer to the great bootboy chant ‘Boots Wrapped Round Yer Head.‘ Were Allez Allez familiar with the mating rituals of the Anny Road or the Scoreboard Paddock? I certainly hope so but somehow doubt it.

Flesh & Blood is next in all its magnificent slinky disco glory with a vocal that sounds like Billy MacKenzie fucking Minnie Ripperton and a boss mandolin solo competing with a cartoon woggawoggawogga sound effect.
Next comes the remixes. Quiet Village do their Quiet Village thing on African Queen, stripping back almost every element to leave the bare bones of a tune, which is, let’s face it, what Quiet Village are so good at. It never really gets going or goes anywhere but does so delightfully with eerie jungle sounds and monastic chants. Like staring at flock wallpaper without blinking, it becomes hypnotic after a few minutes.

The Aeroplane remix of Allez Allez does that Aeroplane thing that Aeroplane do so well, creating a gorgeous piano house groove that goes on for several centuries before the black plague kills everyone horrifically. Next up we have Optimo (Espacio) doing their Optimo (Escapio) thing on a ’Drum Attack’ mix of She’s Stirring Up which stretches the groove so far that it circles the sun and comes home in time for tea (fish fingers with winter mash).

Lindstrom & Prince Michael of Kent complete the Eskimo All-Star remix challenge with another rather L&PT-centric remix of Allez Allez. For the life of me it sounds exactly like a Lindstrom & Prince Nazeem Hamid remix of an Allez Allez track called Allez Allez track should sound like. The descending piano riff gets its coat on, takes the dog for a walk and makes a packed lunch for the old folk down the road’s day-trip to Llandudno before climbing onboard a bus, going to town for a browse around Primark and having a swift bevvy in the Beehive before calling in on his cousin to watch The Wire series three in one sitting.

Or something.

As St Etienne fans once sang ’Allez Les Verts’ but that’s neither here nor there.

April Fool's Rekkid Reviews

2008-04-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

Mental Overdrive - You Are Being Manipulated (Love OD/Smalltown Supersound)

This could well be a lesson in how electronic music has evolved over the past 30 years, from the proggy opener, Intro through old skool electro (Elephantastic), Euro-disco (Europa), synth-pop (R.I.P.P.E.R), house (Run To The Hills), techno (Spooks) and break beat (Original Material) You Are Being Manipulated, whether consciously or not, tends to unfold chronologically track by track until Molina’s Theme where it devolves back to Italo and proggy flavoured moodscapes with Mysterio and the epic The Rage. By the time of closing track, End, we’ve touched almost every conceivable electronic marker and back again which is credit to Per Martinsen’s taste and dedication to pushing boundaries whilst openly acknowledging his influences.

Release date 28 May

Bochum Welt - R.O.B (Robotic Operating Buddy) (Rephlex)

A 2 x CD release that could almost be a parody of Rephlex’s techno-nerd tendencies, what with its perhaps self-deprecating title (Robotic Operating Buddy? Come on!) and Rephlexesque pseudo-scientific un-titles such as 8221SB, DR2D and HC-012 (maybe he’s in competition with Autechre) yet there is greatness to be gleaned from these grooves. CD one features new tracks and mixes and after a regulation android-tech-funk start with Flag, the tone becomes more melodic and ambient, but in a good way. R.O.B is the sort of music to seduce a toaster to. The second CD compiles rarities from Bochum’s back catalogue and with 20 tracks called things like Avtomaticesk, B2, Paph and Feelings On A Screen we‘re in familiar territory. Never a genre that’s gonna convert anyone but the most hardcore of post-tech noiseniks, nevertheless we should still be happy that people such as Gianluigi Di Constanzo are providing a travelogue to the outer edges of the sonic universe.

Release date 7th April

Low Motion Disco - Love Love Love Part 1 & 2 (Eskimo)

Like Fernando Torres, Low Motion Disco are Eskimo’s hot new signings that will brighten up an otherwise up n’ down season. With mixes from the likes of Still Going, Aeroplane, LSB and Soft Rocks to accompany the original version this is an opening salvo worthy of El Torro himself. Perfectly in keeping with the blissy-hissy nu balearia blueprint, Love Love Love is set to rock floors all summer long. LSB’s mix grafts pulsating disco strings and a Do Ya Think I’m Sexy coda for a chuggy mid-tempo groover whilst Soft Rocks go for an even more sedated Boz Scaggsy vibe but it’s the superb Aeroplane mix that really rocks my yacht Roman. We love Love Love Love here kidda.

Release date 21st April

Bliss - Big Freeze Volume 2 (Platipus)

This double CD is so chilled even wooly mammoths would be asking for lecky blankets. Now I’ve got a lot of time for ye olde chille oute scene, as guest DJ at many Big Chill events and a residency at Tromso Public Baths between October and February, I know what it’s like to play Boards Of Canada records to crowds of frost-bitten frenzied Lapps but this is something else. Bliss - fuck all to do with that bint from Faithless - give us a compilation that effortlessly fuses their classical roots with contemporary and classic pieces from the likes of Cantoma, Dubtribe Soundsystem, Mudd, Trentemoller and Charles Webster. To be honest, these compilations are becoming a tad predictable with the same old names appearing with alarming regularity, as if all those Ibiza Chill/Marks & Spencer Ambient Moods Vol 5/Lidl Sunset Strip Classics 37 never happened. That isn’t to say it’s not expertly programmed and pleasurable to listen to just a bit zzzzzzzzz.

Release date 14th April

Thanks to Jonas at epm for review copies.

Talacre FM Jukebox

Alien - Japan (Hansa)
Hills of Katmandu (played at 33 rpm pitched up to plus 8) - Tantra (Automatic)
House Of The King - Focus (Polydor)
Total Panic - Human League (Virgin)
Boo’s Boogie - Betty Boo (Rhythm King)
The Women - Village People (Mercury)
Back Together Again - Hall & Oates (RCA)
You & I Part 2 - Fleetwood Mac (Warners)
Crazy Pages - John Glover (Electric Record Co)
Dig Dis - Hank Mobley (Blue Note)

Cafe del Lar Classics # 2 : Substances - DJ Cam (Inflamable, 1996)

2008-03-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Difficult to believe that this LP is now 12 years old. At the time it was produced both drum n’ bass and big beat were approaching critical mass whilst the genre formerly known as ‘trip hop’ was slowly transforming itself into ‘chill out’ and losing any semblance of 'da funk' in the process. An appalling invented pigeonhole it may have been but ‘trip hop’ is possibly the only way to describe the eight tracks and nine interludes that comprise Substances.

Parisian DJ Cam pays homage not only to his hip hop roots on this LP but also the city’s jazz heritage and it’s a smoky, late night cellar bop that infuses all of the tracks especially those like Friends & Enemies with its Malcolm X speech sample and Blue Note piano riff and the weary, bleary eyed blues of Angel Dust. Innervisions begins with a double bass riff that gradually expands via harp, piano and strings into a beautiful voyage around Cam’s internal headspace, Hip Hop Pioneers pays tribute to the likes of Premier, Guru, Jeru, Group Home, Eric B and Rakim and Public Enemy who get name-checked on the sleeve. Guru is obviously an influence on Substances yet here Cam burrows much deeper into the subterranean heart of jazz than his US counterparts.

Elsewhere the LP uses Kakoli Sengupta’s haunting vocals to provide Eastern textures to tracks such as Meera and Lost Kingdom. This a mood piece LP for the wee small hours with only Sound System Children’s pulsating John Carpenter a la Jean-Luc Godard soundtrack and closing track Twilight Zone’s string drenched drum n’ bass upping the tempo to a stoned head-noddin’ pace.

French hip hop was ‘de rigeur’ in the mid-90s but whereas the likes of Dimitri and Daft Punk managed to transcend their Gallic roots to become global players, DJ Cam never really became more than a cult star and trendy name to drop in Jazz Café/Straight No Chaser circles. A pity because at his best, Cam effortlessly fused the past, present and future of ‘urban’ music better than almost anybody.

Daniele Baldelli - Cosmic Disco? Cosmic Rock!

2008-03-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Review - Cosmic Disco? Cosmic Rock!

Compiled by Daniele Baldelli & Marco Dionigi (Eskimo)

Often hailed as the ‘Godfather of Cosmic Disco’ or as the ‘Midwife of Italo-House’ (we’ve just made that one up), Daniele Baldelli’s reputation as one of the world’s most innovative DJs has recently been re-established. Not to everyone’s taste, Baldelli’s slo-mo disco style stood in marked contrast to the hi-nrg and high tempo club sounds of most US and UK dance floors of the late 70s and early 80s, helping forge what would later become the Italo sound.

During his residency at Italy’s renown ’Cosmic’ club, Baldelli evolved his own unique style that owed little or nothing to established DJing techniques. An obsessive dedication to experimenting with both the pitch and speed of records and how various elements of each tune inter-related at different tempos, Baldelli’s ’Moroder on Methadone’ style marked him out as a DJ who was never content to just play it safe. Relentless chugging basslines and funky synth stabs remain a constant element, the body beat foundation upon which his structures are layered, beat by beat, track by track.

Cosmic Disco? Cosmic Rock! demonstrates the length to which Baldelli goes to in order to seek out the perfect tune for the perfect mix. In common with his Ibizan contemporary Alfredo, Baldelli’s aesthetic dismisses fickle notions of accepted ’cool’ in order to create something far greater than the sum of its parts. Hence we get the likes of Martha & The Muffins, The Thompson Twins, Ray Parker Junior and The Dream Syndicate next to Fra Lippo Lippi, the Bronx Irish Catholics and La Bionda.

The pulsating flow of this fantastic mix is rarely broken, and whilst it’s now difficult to appreciate quite how radical this Italo-Balearic style was almost 25 years after Cosmic closed its doors, it’s nice to see Baldelli receiving credit for the untold hours he put in during his creative heyday.

Tracklist :

1 Fra Lippo Lippi- Say Something
2 Richard Bone - Mutant Wisdom
3 The Romantics - A Night Like This
4 Kevin Harrison - Ink Man
5 Translator - Break Down Barriers
6 Martha & The Muffins - Danseparc (Every Day It’s Tomorrow)
7 The Dream Syndicate - 50 In A 25 Zone
8 Thompson Twins - Beach Culture
9 Positive Noise - Positive Negative
10 David Jackson - Stonewall Stands With Thomas Davies
11 La Bionda - I Got Your Number
12 Torch Song - Prepare To Energize
13 Ray Parker Junior - -The Other Woman
14 Strafe Fur Rebellion - Mosche Bildt Njet
15 Spirit - Potatoland Theme
16 Spider - Better Be Good To Me
17 Bronx Irish Catholics - Ulster Defense
18 Alicia Bridges - Body heat

Release date - 21st April

"DO NOT SEEK THE TRAY-ZURE"

2008-02-12T11:09:00.000-08:00

Some bits & bobs that have helped us persuade our quack to reduce our Citalopram script over the last couple of weeks;

Dobie Gray - You Can Do It (Infinity)

Cash in disco with more than a hint of the Tony Orlandos about it, but a winner nonetheless.

Barbara Jones - Never Let Me Go (A Side)

A sunny 7 inches of prime Lovers, ideal for this unseasonably clement weather that we're currently enjoying.

Panda Bear - Good Girl/Carrots (Paw Tracks)

A tad shy of 13 minutes worth of Tribal drumming, gobbledey gook lyrics, Inuit throat singing, lurching dub basslines, Northern stomping, reverb, Tibetan finger cymbals & Noah Lennox's plaintive vocals. If you don't already own the magisterial "Person Pitch" might we humbly suggest going & availing yourself of it RIGHT FLIPPING NOW.

Jay Dee - Games & Funky Things (Instrumental) (Warners)

Barry White production formerly used as a theme by the Big Dawg 'imself, His Holiness Timothy of Westwood for his wireless programme - recently snagged on a 7 for 20p in one of the all too infrequent CDL Charity Shop snatch missions.

Lovefingers - Kentucky (RVNG)

Christ alone knows what the original is but ol' Funky Spingers is bang on the dough with his edit, the get.

The Bee Gees - Love You Inside & Out (RSO)

Quite how that intro hasn't been pilfered for sampling purposes is beyond my admittedly limited ken, unless of course it has; in which case disregard this dreck.

Bill Nelson - Another Willingly Opened Window (Mercury)

The former Be Bop Deluxer heads right up his own hoop on this "experimental" LP from 1981 but this the opener on Side 2 makes the rest of the guff worth sticking with.

The Glimmer Twins - Music For Dreams (Glimmers)

With those frankly sickeningly talented Nordic types Lindstrom & Prins Thomas on board for the ride this is one of the stand out cuts from their "The Glimmers are Gee Gee Fazzi" see-dy.

Terry Riley - A Rainbow In Curved Air (CBS)

If there was an award for the most cloyingly idealistic sleevenotes, this LP'd win by a country mile but as there isn't currently any such award (nor is there likely to be if we're being honest) the 18 or so predominantly beatless minutes that make up side 1 will just have to do.

Hercules/Love Affair feat Anthony - Blind (DFA)

In any right minded society this'd piss all over the records set by Bryan Adams/Smack Smack Smack for the longest running Number 1 of all time, EVER! but we don't so it won't - comfort yourself by simply listening to it time & time again. Lush as a last minute derby winner.

Cafe del Lar Classics # 1 - Masami Tsuchiya - Rice Music (Epic, 1982)

2008-02-07T06:53:00.000-08:00

Opening with the title track, a typically Nipponese plink plonk rhythm underpinned by Mick Karn’s trademark rubber band basslines, Rice Music is an album that could’ve only been made in the early 80s. It sets the tone for ten tracks of ‘globalearic’ grooves that throw everything at the wall to see what sticks.

Se! Se! Se! is a funky Talking Heads style global groove with itchy n’ scratchy guitars and Tom Tom Club-esque shouty stream-of-consciousness vocals. Haina-Haila is a tribal drum fest with Karn’s drunken master bassline and what sounds like Japanese schoolgirls (infact backing vocalists Eve, Nachiko and Yoko) chanting mantras over a Buddhist monk’s sermon. It is perhaps the greatest tribal drum, squelchy bass, Buddhist chant tune ever recorded. Tao-Tao ups the tempo with a flinty funk-pop workout. Side one’s closing track, Neo-Rice Music borrows the main riff from Tao-Tao and slows it down to a drowsy, dream-like drool.

On side 2, Kafka opens with a weird discordant cello sound effect over a dislocated voice that builds gradually with an synth-accordian/bubbly bassline (the midpoint between Kraftwerk’s The Model and Nirvana’s Come As You Are) jam. Rice Dog Jam barks it’s intentions in another take on Mutant Disco’s frantic arty post-funk with syncopated woofs, megaphone vocals and Toshio Nakanishi’s ‘preaching.’ Secret Party is a murky, underwater orgy of mysterious oozy sounds and textures for which the term ‘Balearic As Fuck’ could have been invented, whereas Silent Object is a beautiful ambient instrumental that evokes the calm meditative pools of a Japanese garden. The LP closes with Night In The Park, a Bowie-esque vocal over a traditional pop structure reminiscent of post-Eno Roxy.

With the ubiquitous assistance of Riuichi Sakamoto, Bill Nelson, Japan’s Mick Karn and Steve Jansen and with Tsuchiya not only providing vocals but playing everything from guitar, drums, synth and bass to bamboo percussion, koto and yokin, (Kiyohiko Semba also provides wadaiko, tsuzumi and tabla percussion) cynics could maybe criticise Rice Music as an exercise in plastic Orientalism for worthier-than-thou world music wannabes. Yet, at a time when the likes of Sakamoto, Bowie, Japan, Eno, Byrne and Nelson were blurring the boundaries between ethnic and experimental, traditional and transcendental, Rice Music is an LP that constantly throws up surprises and only underlines the energy and imagination of post-punk pop during this era.

The cover shows the artist sat at a desk in a fetching mauve trolly dolly meets International Rescue outfit. His heavily made-up, prettily androgynous face stares enigmatically into the distance, one hand balanced on his chin, the other plucking a guitar. To his left is a huge globe, angled to show Japan, China and the far east. The message is simple; the world is shrinking and old codes of sexuality and culture no longer matter. ‘New York-London-Paris-Munich-(Tokyo), everyone‘s talking about Pop Music! In 1982, anything appeared possible.

Back In The Day - Fanzine Charts 91/92

2008-02-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

We don’t wanna get too nostalgic here on CDL but we ARE a pair of lazy cunts, so here are a few charts culled from various old fanzines to get you all welled up about the first time you dropped a Scotty Road pigeon and hugged your aul fellar with a tear in your eye :

Jack Of All Trades - Upfront 25

1 Love Decade - World Is Listening (White)
2 Royal 1 (White)
3 Fortran 5 - Heart On The Line (Mute)
4 Too Damn Free - Too Damn Free (White)
5 WIR - So & Slow It Goes (Orb Mix) (Mute)
6 2 In A Room - Do What You Want (Remixes) (SBK)
7 Various - House Of Bazic Grooves (Flying)
8 La Banderita - Mediterranean (Inlite)
9 Natural Life - Strange World/Def n’ Duff (H’wood)
10 DJ Energetic - Energetic (BMG)
11 Fish - Can U Feel It (US Cutting Records)
12 Pacific - Compassion (Remix) (EMI)
13 Fabi Paras - Together/People (White)
14 Timbal - Loca (Flying/Nation)
15 B Rich - Salvation (White)
16 Oblique - Fall Down On Me (Trapshut)
17 Al Hambra - Al Hambra (B Tech)
18 Marina Van Roy - Let You Go (Remix) (Deconstruction)
19 Fini Tribe - Ace Love Deuce (White/One Little Indian)
20 Pacha - One Kiss (Z)
21 The Grid - Boom (Virgin)
22 Audio Deluxe - 60 Seconds (Volante)
23 DJ Cisky - Sequence Time (Flying)
24 DBM - Real Dream (umm)
25 Syko - Sex Talk (Hype)

From Northern Lights - No 1 Sept 1991

Songs To Learn & Sing

Mass Order - Take Me Away
Kim Syms - Too Blind To See It
Vitamino - What I’ve Got
Gypsy Men - Daylight/Stopping Us
Finitribe - Ace-Love-Deuce (Robertson Mix)
M1 - Dynomite
Little Louie Vega - Ride On The Rhythm
Dance Advisory Commission - Free Your Mind
East Side Beat - Ride Like The Wind
Leroy Burgess - Miss Thang
Ce Ce Penistone - Finally
Prince - Gett Off
Butcher Sam - Piano Passions
Photon Inc feat Paula Brion - Generate Power
Moodswings - Works Of Atreus
For Djs Only Vol2 - Burnin’ Up Philly
Beat masters - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
Gina Stewart - Dance All Night
Cookie Watkins - I’m Attracted To You
Groove Committee - I Want To Know
F.K.W - Romeo & Juliet
Patrick Hernandez - Born To Be Alive
Formula 4/4 - Throw Down The Madness
Dupree Brass Disk
Irving & Romeo - Brighter Day

From Sunnyside Up, No 1 1991

Mike Pickering’s Tunes for Oct/Nov 92

Funky Guitar - TC1992
Heart - Kathy Sledge
Doing Doing Boogie - Afro Kid Dubtown Disco
It Will Make Me Crazy - Felix
Just Us - Joey Washington
Love Vibration - Cusa
Temple Of Love - A Homeboy, A Hippy & A Funky Dread
Let Me Be Your Underwear - Club 69
Francisca - Espiritu
We We - Angelique Kidjo
Who Can Make Me Feel Good - Bassheads
Lost In The Groove - Groove Patrol
Da Rydim - Da Ridym
Aint No Mountain - KXP
Children Of The World - Yolanda Reynolds
Work In Progress EP - Rejuvenation
Don’t Give Up - Pig City
Everything I Do - Cynthia M
Understand This Groove - UFI
Muzik - DJ Pierre
The Music Is Movin - Fargetta
Sereno - Brat Foundation
Music Is So Wonderful - Vivian Lee
Day & Night - Novecento
Lake Of Dreams - The Infinite Wheel
One Day - Tyrrel Corporation
Verba Del Diablo - Datura
One Nation - Supereal
Soul Freedom - Degrees Of Motion
Sunshine - Unit 2

From Ace Of Clubs No 2, 1992

Phil Mison - Pen Portrait

2008-02-01T02:54:00.000-08:00

Best known for his uncanny ability to produce flawless Balearic sets as a DJ, as a remixer par excellence as one half of Reverso 68 and for his own subtle moodscapes as Cantoma, Phil Mison is widely regarded as one of the nicest men in the known universe. Rather than ask the great man a load of bullshit questions about music n’ stuff however, we thought it’d be far more revealing to find out what makes Phil tick by asking a load of trivial nonsense in the style of a Shoot player's profile instead.

Favourite netball position
WING ATTACK

Favourite soup
KNORRS CHICKEN NOODLE

Favourite marsupial
KOALA

Favourite french actor/actress
JEAN ROCHEFORT

Favourite coin of the realm
TWENTY PENCE

Favourite film starring Doug McClure
WARLORDS OF ATLANTIS

Favourite stretch of sand
WORMS HEAD

Favourite forest
AALBORG PARK

Favourite mountain range
ALPS

Favourite brand of washing up powder
DAZ

Favourite theme park
KNOTTS BERRY FARM

Favourite pope
PIUS X

Favourite athletic discipline
JAVELIN

Favourite personal injury claim advert
THE ONE WHERE THE WOMAN SLIPS ON THE FLOOR

Favourite neo-realist film director
FRANCIS PEYRAT

Favourite bodily function
SNEEZING

Favourite waterproof clothing label
CANDELAS WINDCHEATER

Favourite book by a footballer
TOUGH AT THE TOP- ALAN DEVONSHIRE

Favourite book by a former-cellist
MY WAY- JAQUELINE DU PRE

Favourite character from It Aint Half Hot Mum
GUNNER GRAEME

Phil is appearing as Alladin at The Big Chill Pie n' Mash Cafe til March 23rd

Cafe del Lar - Year Of The Rat Mix

2008-01-31T07:48:00.001-08:00

here's a mix we did at Xmas and posted up on various sites to universal apathy but fuck it, we liked it!

Sky – Xango
Emerson Lake & Palmer – Take a Pebble
Shakti – Bridge of Sighs/George Carlin – People I Can Do Without
Peter Green – Skabo Day
Clive John – Summer Song
Focus – Crackers
Curved Air – Back Street Luv
John Martyn – Big Muff
The Neville Brothers – With God On Our Side
Traffic – Don’t Be Sad
Alan Parsons Project – Dream Within A Dream
John Travolta – Easy Evil
Nazareth – Morning Dew (Prins Thomas Edit)
Lynsey Buckingham – Johnny Stew
Sutherland Brothers/Quivver – When The Train Comes
The Beach Boys – Long Promised Road
London Symphony Orchestra – Life On Mars

Interview : Moonboots - paid in tapas & other tales

2008-01-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

For many people in the Balearic demi-monde (whatever one of them is) Richard Bithell aka Moonboots is a legendary figure. Any man who lists his myspace hobbies as follows, is worth an hour of anyone’s cyber-time.

'Balearic beats, cricket, Scandinavian design, Barbour jackets, Liverpool FC, fine wine, sea food, the rather fine English countryside, Metro maps of the world, beard growth, German orthopaedic footwear, Roberts Radios, Moleskin notepads, meat, Nordic crime, literature, cheesecake, photography, expensive socks, my daily Sudoku.'

Moon has been at the forefront of the British and international ‘Balearic’ scene since the early 90s and he and DJ partner, Jason Boardman’s Sunday evening Aficionado night has been going strong for nigh on a decade now. We met Moon in a charming Lymm alehouse and asked him to give us life story in easy to digest sound nuggets. Here it is.

“When I was growing up I was into the usual kind of shit; The Cure, Bunnymen, The Smiths, Japan, even Simple Minds to a lesser extent which is kind of weird because in the Balearic world these are the kind of records people are being played as like lost Balearic classics. I was a total kind of indie rock kid, went to college, hung out with different people who were more into Stu Allen, hip hop and house that kind of thing. Didn’t really get it but used to go to this place in Charnock Richard called the Park or something and they’d play early house stuff and people would jazz dance in spats and I’d think ‘this is fucking shit’ but I’d go just to get pissed.

Then some kid decided we’d go to Manchester, to the Hacienda which I assumed would be exactly the same. So we all dressed up in brogues and bad shirts and kecks and got totally knocked back so we tried again the next week, it was Wednesday and we wore slightly different clobber and we got in. That was the first time I felt I was in a club not a disco, I haven’t got a fucking clue who the Djs were, it wasn’t Da Silva or Pickering or anyone like that but the music was great, made you look at things differently and we started going to the Hac quite a lot after that, usually Fridays and Saturdays when it was mostly house music. Still didn’t get it, still didn’t make any sense to me at all.

88 came, the Hot thing started, people starting waving their hands around, I was still coming to get pissed, still didn’t get it. Went on a great pissed up blokes type holiday, came back and stood looking out onto the dance floor. Before we went away there were 15 people waving their arms around, two weeks later when we got back, there were 500 people waving their hands around. We were just like’ what the fuck is this?’ We still didn’t get it.

Then I did an E, which was bizarre because I was totally anti-drugs at the time they were ridiculously expensive. We put twelve and half quid in each and half each. Bingo! I’m not saying the music made any sense but the people waving their arms around did. I didn’t do another E for about six months after that. The thing had happened, it had changed so there was no point carrying on doing loads of drugs, til later on when I could afford it.

The Hot thing, everyone thinks it was just an acid house night but it wasn’t because (Jon) Da Silva at the time was one of the greatest Djs in the world and Da Silva was Balearic. He’d never admit to being Balearic but we’d go early doors and Jon would do his warm up and it was fucking outstanding man. He’d play these really weird dubbed out reggae things and sound effects and slow disco things. Jon was incredibly Balearic. I mean no-one would play disco records at the time but Jon would make a disco record sound like a house record. At the time you’d just think ’that’s just another house record’ but listening back to tapes I’ve got you think ’fucking hell, I can’t believe he played that in the middle of a house set’ but he mixed it all in incredibly well.

The thing that interested me most wasn’t the house stuff but the weird records that pushed me more down that Balearic route. Mike Pickering would just be plying banging acid records, Chicago, Detroit thing but we’d queue up to get in. Once I was right at the front of the queue, sat there for an hour and half waiting to get it just so I could hear Da Silva play fucking Summer Rain Fall in the first five minutes, which is this BBC Sound Effects thing, just the sound of rain pouring down. Incredible!

I think it was the tablet that changed things because before that I never danced but then I discovered if I had this little tablet, I was funky as fuck. It did open your mind to what was out there, whether you were into hip hop, black music or rock music or vice versa.

Then I started shopping at Eastern Bloc records buying acid house, early Detroit stuff but Justin Robertson was working there and he was always trying to give me things that were a bit wonkier, a bit more leftfield-y. I’d tip off Justin about things and he’d tip me off about things and we both moved along in that Balearic direction together. Then he started Spice which was a Sunday strictly Balearic membership, very semi-Boys Own wannabe. I went to every one and it’s been mythologized and loads of people say they were there. ’You weren’t fucking there!’ You had to have a membership card, it was Sunday and I knew virtually all the members, so anyone who says they were there, ’no you weren’t!’ (apart from the ones who were. Ed) It was crap! There were about thirty of us standing around with white jeans on.

I wasn’t Djing at the time, it was just Justin and Greg (Fenton). Justin was a bit more London, Boys Own lead, he’d play Weatherall mixes of any old shit because it was Weatherall whereas Greg would play records he’d have or found himself and fit it around that kind of sound. After Spice finished, Justin did Most Excellent and Greg did Glitterbaby and I did the lights at both. I just used to do an E and stand there next to the strobe machine and when there was a breakdown, I’d press the light that made the most light and then put the strobe back on. I got ten pound a night for that but all the way through this I’ve got 1000s of records which are quite rare in that kinda scene.

Obviously I’d take records to parties but didn’t have a clue how to DJ. I knew how records sounded but how to make em sound alright together, I was absolutely terrible. Then there was a thing called HPs which was after Most Excellent and that was my first proper DJ gig. I was absolutely shit I’m sure, but people danced. It was all kind of dubby On-U Sound stuff but dreadfully put together. I didn’t think I had a particular talent but I was obsessed with putting things together and 20 years on I still can’t really mix that well but at the time, that’s what people did and it’s what I wanted to do. With time I realised that if you’ve got enough good records, you don’t need to mix them all together.

Then I got Justin’s job at Eastern Bloc and when you work in a record shop, people think you’re a DJ anyway. People would come into the shop and go ’do you wanna play here?’ ’do you wanna do here?’ They could put E Bloc on their flyers and I got a lot more DJ work just because I worked in in a record shop but even then I was playing records from beginning to end. The way Eastern Bloc was designed with the big long counter opposite the doors, we’d stand behind the counter and look at people coming in and go ’look at that cunt’ before they’d even got to the counter. We were horrible, really really nasty, fucking arrogant pigs to people. It didn’t help that you were out caning it on a Friday night and then going to work on Saturday, fucking snorting wizz downstairs to keep you awake on a Saturday afternoon. We were horrible but we’d get away with it because there were so many people in there, it was like Zulu man. People thought that if you worked there, you had some level of coolness that would bring something to their party, til they actually heard you DJ!

I was guesting all over the place and I did do one residency at the World in Warrington. Kelvin Andrews was promoting it and it was a the time when the Idjut Boys and all that dubby disco stuff was coming out and that’s what they wanted. It was alright but I got sacked in the end because they wanted stuff like Carl Cox and I was like ’Jesus! This isn’t what I want to be doing’ so in 98 me and Jason (Boardman) decided to do our own night on a Thursday at a place called Aqua which used to be an American theme sports bar with tellys everywhere and a vast open space. We used to get paid in tapas and free beer but it was quite good because we got about 40 good people coming down every Thursday. They had a giant Jenga puzzle and we’d put albums on and play jenga.

We fucked it off after a bit and decided to start it up again on a Sunday as a kind of homage to Spice at a place called Zumbar opposite the BBC studio, We got paid in pizza there. We’ll play for food! It was absolutely heaving and the decks and the mixer were in a build it console you could just take out, no slip mats or anything. We were a bit snooty I suppose, calling it Aficionado and playing original records, no bootlegs, remixes or re-edits, just original vinyl copies. It’s kinda dropped off a bit since then but if you played a re-issue you had to wear the sleeve on your head all the way through.

We didn’t try to make out we were a cool night at all, it was ’if you wanna come and play then you’ve got to play original records. I didn’t care if you’re playing Detroit techno or electro or whatever just don’t play any bootlegs, re-issues or compilations. And it worked straight away, I was absolutely fucking amazed that it was a Sunday and people still wanted to go out. I mean there was nothing on a Sunday happening at the time. We never charged to get in, it was always free. We’ve always had to rely on the bar take to make any money which is alright because we know a lot of drinkers.

We’ve had loads of different venues for it and we also took a year off because we’d been doing it every fucking Sunday for about 7 years and you begin to lose interest in it because you start taking the same records and playing them in the same order. Since we’ve started it again at Odders which is the same place as ZumBar, we’re doing monthly which makes it more of an event. The good thing is we can play things that people will hate on first listening and then after 8 weeks or so, they’ll be jumping around to it. When I first played The Chaplin Band (Il Veliero) record which was about 3 years ago now and it’s a long fucking record, people walked out of the bar at first but if you keep on playing something and force feed it, hopefully people will understand.'

Welcome to the Cafe del Lar

2008-01-31T07:00:00.001-08:00

The Cafe del Lar doesn't exist, it's a figment of our imagination; a place where the sun slowly goes down over Seaforth not Sa Trinxa and the ferrys go to Woodside and Wallasey not Formentera and Barcelona.

Basically, it's our imaginary fusion of all things balearic placed in a scouse context; 'scallyeric' if you like. Attempting to bring together elements from Liverpool's own musical heritage and modern 'balearic' (however you define that term) ; from Lindisfarne to Lindstrom, it's all up for grabs.

From the watery wastelands of Waterloo and the rugged rubble of Runcorn, DJs & collectors, Ste & Phil aka Cafe del Lar have been producing fanzines, books & promoting various cultural events in Liverpool over the past 12 years. We won't bore you with the details.

We will, however, enthuse and abuse as we see fit and use this forum to post mixes we've put together, review records and interview people we like or admire.

So slap a bit of beef spread on a slice of Warby's and crack on it's aioli and don't see Birkenhead, see Es Vedre instead.

Ste Connor/Phil Thornton