Some tunes for Ste Connor's 40th/PJ's Pick n' Mix/Guest Mixes

One half of celebrated nonentities Cafe del Lar and rabid Evertonian (are there any other type of Evertonian?), Stephen Connor reached his 4th decade on planet earth this week so here are some boss tunes to celebrate his 40th circle around the sun.

Theme One – George Martin (Circle Of Sound)
Danza Mora – Jose Motos (World Record Club)
Can’t Help Myself (Out Front Mix) – Lynx (Chrysalis)
One Love (Dance Mix) – Atlantic Starr (A&M)
Taxi Bamako – Amadou & Mariam (Radio Bemba)
Psychotic Girl - Black Keys (V2)
Listen The Snow Is Falling – Yoko Ono & Plastic Ono Band
I Betray My Friends - OMD
Molde Canticle Pt 4 – Jan Garbarek
Never Say Never – John Martyn
Beauty & The Beast – DJ Taylor
Love Aint An Easy Thing – Neil Sedaka
Call Me (Instru) – Blondie
Livin’ For The City (Bullring Mix) – Cook da Books
TVOD – The Normal
Perfumed Garden – Rah Band
Voila – Francoise Hardy
Ice Cream Van - Glasvegas
Pigs (In There) – Robert Wyatt
Time Becomes/Planet Of The Shapes - Orbital
Hatchback – Comets (Lo)
Dorothy Morrison – Brand New Day (Columbia)
Lou Reed – Street Hassle (RCA)
Bobby Charles – SmallTown Talk (Bearsville)
Van McCoy – African Symphony (T & L)
Ultra Vivid Scene – Mercy Seat (4AD)
The Commodores – Cebu (Motown)
Hugh Masekela – Don’t Go Lose It Baby (Jive Afrika)
Chicago – Saturday In The Park (CBS)
Mahavishnu Orchestra – Dawnin’ (CBS)
Jim Capaldi – Favela Music (Island)
Freddie McGregor – Big Ship (Greensleeves)
Joe Cocker – The Man In Me (Stingray)
Eddie Henderson – Say You Will (Tower)
The Emperor Machine – What’s In The Box? (DC Recordings)
Robert Palmer – Work To Make It Work (Island)
Dazzle – Reaching (Underdog edit) (Underdog)
Give Me Your Love - Curtis Mayfield (Buddah)
Standing In The Shadows Of Love - Barry White (Pye)
Yes, I Am - The Emotions (CBS)
Super-Tuff - XTC (Virgin)
Fifty-Fifty Clown - Cocteau Twins (4AD)
On Tomorrow - Captain Beef heart & His Magic Band (Liberty)
Wonderland – Joe Sample (MCA)
Sister Honey – Stevie Nicks (Modern)
Hey Girl – Jimmy James & The Vagabonds (Pye)
This Is The House (Where Our Love Died) – Three Degrees (White)
Spine Cop – Rock Workshop (CBS)
Scream (Primal Scream ) – Mantronix (10)
Casa Forte – Sergio Mendes (Hamlet)
Does Your Mama Like To Reggae – JJ Cale (Mercury)
Good & Plenty – Carolyn Crawford (Philly Int)
Too Much Attention – Gilbert O’Sullivan (Mam)
Jumping The Gun – Rico (Trojan)
Groove Check (Dub) – That Petrol Emotion (Virgin)
Just To Settle My Nerves – Charles Wright (Warner Bros)
Night Train – Steve Winwood (Island)
(Do The) Instant Mash – Joe Jackson (Hallmark)
He-O – Vangelis (Superstar)
Symphony – Marvin Gaye
Obsession (Nassau Mix) - Guy Cuevas
Loop – Tom Browne
Everything Is Neu - Hatchback
Route 101 - Herb Alpert
Grow Your Hair - Coyote
Love Emergency - Teddy Pendergrass
Clam (Kelpe Remix) - Red Snapper
50,000 Legions - Detroit Grand Pubahs
Anja’s Theme - Petar Dundov
12.01 AM (Reprise) - The Commodores
The Wolves (Act I and II) - Bon Iver
Budapest By Blimp - Thomas Dolby

PJ’s Pick & Mix Mix

Ennio Morricone – Nina Nanna Per Adulti
The Monkees – Someday Man
The Poppy Family – Free From The City
Evie Sands – Take Me For A Little While
Astrud Gilberto – Beginnings
The Left Banke – Pretty Ballerina
Dennis Wilson – Lady
Scott Walker – The World’s Strongest Man
Syd Barrett – Terrapin
Simon & Garfunkel – Punky’s Dilemma
David Crosby – Laughing
Roger Nichols – Don’t Go Breaking My Heart
The Beach Boys – Til I Die
Rotary Connection – Black Gold Of The Sun
Glen Campbell – Guess I’m Dumb
Lee Hazlewood – Hey Cowboy
Bobbie Gentry – Tobacco Road
Tim Hardin – Misty Roses
Laura Nyro – Eli’s Coming
The Free Design – Bubbles
Dillard & Clark – Train Leaves Here This Morning
Marcos Vale – The Face I Love
Roy Budd – Getting Nowhere In A Hurry

Cosmic Boogie Mix - No Notion Disco

A lickle disco/Balearic/baleario mix we knocked out for the good chaps in Cosmic Boogie wonderland.

http://www.cosmicboogie.co.uk/2008/07/guest-mix-6-no-notion-disco/

Kiki Dee - Chicago (Rocket)
Space - Carry On Turn Me On (Obsessive)
Glass Candy - Miss Broadway (After Dark) (Italians Do It Better)/Cheech & Chong - Lard Ass (WB)
Otis Clay - The Only Way Is Up (Harmless)
Herbie Mann - Superman (Atlantic)
Walter Muphy - Uptown Serenade (Private Stock)
Santa Esmerelda - House of the Rising /Quasimodo SuIte(Philips/Fauves Puma)
Evelyn King - I Don't Know (Popular Peoples Front re-edit) (PPF)
L.T.D - Back In Love Again (A & M)
The Gap Band - Outstanding (Total Experience)
Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes - Wake Up Everybody (Pt's 1 & 2) (PIR)(with the merest sliver of
Funkadelic to bridge it)

6millionsteps guest mix - Curva Nord/Fried Icecream

Here's another disco/funk mix we did for the good folks at 6MS

http://www.sixmillionsteps.com/drupal/node/72

The Guttersnipe - the worst fanzine of all time

We started The Guttersnipe back in 95(ish - can't really remember the exact date) and by the time we finished doing it circa 99/2000 and began Partizan's on-line zine, we'd done 10 or so issues all of which were massively unsuccesful (do you detect a running theme here?) - however, although some of the content is pretty embarassing to look at over a decade later, there are bits worth digging out for posterity. Issue # 1 featured amongst other things :

*why we hate the british fashion mafia - an attack on the W1 fashionistas that became the blueprint for my book 'Casuals'

*fashion pieces on Kangol & Raggy

* why cosa nostra suck

* why goatees rule

* Dr John's The Night Tripper sleeve notes

* top 10 proper wenches

* retro fashion

* Jazz v rock

* style icons - dizzy gillespie

but there wer elong bits and i cant be arsed typing em out so here are a few bits n' bobs from that issue

New Mod? Old Hat! Old wave of new mod memories

* Swapping your 999 and UK Subs 45s for the Merton Parkas and The Lambrettas

* Wearing your grandad's trilby

* legging sad divvies on Yammy 150s whilst shouting 'get the rockers!'

* wishing you'd never sold your northern soul collection

* pretending to have been at Scarborough when it kicked off

* doing the 'Green Onions' dance

* trying to do a 'Jimmy' up an alley and failing miserably

* the Jam are punks/mods arguments

* talking in a ropey Cockney accent

* pretending to be on 'blues'

* robbing thousands of wing mirrors

* not knowing who The Who were

SOAP UPDATE

Backside - creepy Satanist, Edgar D. Evil continues to brainwash the Close's youth into painting occult symbols onto the sides of Farmer McMoron's sheep. Jimmy Video has taken his estranged wife hostage and is demanding three million pounds, a quid's worth of Red Leicester, two Cadbury's Cream Eggs and a plane to Douglas, Isle Of Man as a ransome. Militant black muslim community leader, Mustafa Al-Anhansen is planning a protest march to complain about the opening of a non Halal butchers on the parade. Aristocratic couple, Piers and Melinda Forbes-Cholmondeley have returned from their ski-ing holiday to find a tribe of new age travellers squatting in their palatial three bedroom semi. Union leader and All England Gay Paragliding champion, Dave Anus has been ostracised by the Residents Association after refusing chairman, Major Crabtree's advances. Quiet newcomer, Gordon Evans is secretly turning his garage into a DIY sulphate factory. The ghosts of Roman Legionnaires are still appearing at No 15.

Bellenders - Pickled turnip stall proprieter, Ernie Mash has gone gone to the toilet. Doreen Eel is minding his stall till he comes back. Alfie Pie has nipped to the bookies. Irene Whelk's laundry has gone missing. Elsie and Ronny Sausage have been arrested following a raid on their lock up. 30,000 quid's worth of counterfeit Queen Mothers have been seized. Bert Saveloy has been elected Grimford's first deaf, diabetic Communist mayor.

Cosynation Street - Teddy Boys have been causing trouble in the Ranger's Rover again. Brassy landlady, Maggie Front is having an affair with handsome cellar man, Sid Stout but there's competition from Miss Muckdale 1963, Debby Cleavage. Harold Wilson is due to pay a visit to the area and a street party to celbrate VE Day has been organised by old soldier, Bill Shrapnel. The General Strike has brought chaos to Muckdale but the locals are cheerily doing their utmost to carry on regardless. Queen Victoria's jubilee celebrations are being planned and Oliver Cromwell's Parliamentary army has been spotted five miles away.

Ozmates - Bobby's surfboard has held up the local Post Office. Noelene and Clive have eloped to New Zealand. Bowser has been pining for then, keeping shift worker Ray awake all night. Teresa's trombone lessons are causing big headaches for Don and Babs. Frank's business venture has come unstuck and Jamie's bike has appendicitis.

Playlist

Speed Up - Betty Moorer
Home Of The Whale - Massive Attack
Agony Of Defeet - Parliament
Jacob St 7am - Sabres Of Paradise
Yahoo - Happy Mondays
See The Day - Ann Consuelo
Persons Unknown - Poison Girls
Genetix - The Stranglers
Baby Sinister - Slave
For Your Love - Yardbirds
Black Spade - Jason Ryder Sound
Bunker Soldiers - OMD
Mr Moon - Jamiroquai
Securicor - Crass
Wheel Me Out - Was Not Was
Vibe Da Joint - Kaliphz
Ivo - Cocteau Twins
Ten Feet Tall - XTC
Seen & Not Seen - Talking Heads
q-Mart - 808 State
Going For The One - Yes
USSR - Mr Fingers
Hellbent On Rockin' - The Shakin Pyramids

And The Beat Goes Off!

Note : 'it takes a real man to admit he's wrong' (James Brown) I've deleted the offending opening note from this piece as it appears I have caused grief for people who only trying to give my obnoxious opinions an unwarranted platform - from now on I'll keep my obnoxious personal attacks on this site only......who's up for the Harvey Is Shite campaign?

And The Beats Goes Off

There is a myth, a myth it must be said among many others, that Liverpool has always been a progressive home to dance music, that its clubs have been somehow instrumental in bringing about a vibrant dance scene both locally and nationally. As someone who's clubbed in Liverpool and Manchester for the past 25 years or so, I must admit that I've always found Liverpool's music scene to be very insular, conservative and well, just not very good. The reasons for this cannot be reduced to any one single cause, yet in part I think it can be traced all the way back to Merseybeat.

The Beatles themselves of course were infatuated with black American music and yet the music they made owed far more to the Everleys than the Isleys. That raw strain of black R&B that fused with southern hillbilly folk to produce rock n' roll largely bypassed the Fab Four yet found its way into the music of The Stones, The Animals, The Who, The Faces; bands whose singers desperately affected a 'black' voice to give their music credence. Think of those great white 'soul' singers of the 60s; Van Morrison, Eric Burdon, Chris Farlowe, Stevie Winwood and even the likes of Tom Jones and Jagger at his best on say 'Get Off My Cloud' - they were all singers who wanted to sound black whereas Lennon and McCartney never did. This isn't a criticism by the way because too often these wannabe Otis's and Smokeys and Levi's mistook gravelly for sincerity and patronised the very people they attempted to impress. The Beatles wanted to be Bob Dylan far more than Bo Diddley and that early rock n' roll rawness soon disappeared by the time of Rubber Soul and Revolver.

In the wake of the Beatles success ofcourse, all the other Merseybeat bands traded on familiarity and so the open-minded fusion of source material open to young scousers in the 50s became reduced to a formulaic BeatlesBeat. This was the case in other cities not only Liverpool but the success of the Beatles elevated the city into a centre of musical importance, a city on a par with Detroit, New York or Nashville. Once a city achieves that kind of international status then the shutters come down and a cultural siege mentality sets in, often resulting in a smug complacency and an inflated sense of civic pride. I think this is what happened in Liverpool during the 60s and 70s and even into the 80s and 90s. There were exceptions ofcourse; the post-punk scene that spawned Echo, Wah, Teardrop etc was perhaps the only other golden era for Liverpool music and that was inspired once again mostly by white American acts such as The Doors, Springsteen, the Velvets. That too soon fizzled out by the mid-80s with only bands such as The Farm flying the flag for contemporary scouse pop.

Funk, soul, disco, jazz, reggae? Forget it! Liverpool was a musical ghetto by this time, with little or no cross-pollination. Driving through Liverpool in the 70s and early 80s the contrast between black and white was almost like travelling through Jim Crow era Mississippi. Segregation whether politically or socially enforced or for self-preservation and defence, created an inward looking and isolationist culture that disregarded the rest of Britain, indeed the rest of the world. The legacy of the Beatles, the success of Liverpool FC during the 70s and the cliched 'scouse comedy' antics of Carla Lane, Jimmy Tarbuck and co lead to a sense of supremacy and a romanticised and selective mythology that bands in the 80s bought into lock stock, John, Paul, George and Ringo.

Only in Liverpool could bands such as Up & Running and Groundpig immunize themselves from the wider cultural shifts in musical taste and remain popular with little or no traditional record industry resourcing or promotion. Only in Liverpool could unapologetically retro groups such as The Las and Shack claim to be flame keepers for good old fashioned trad scouse musical integrity. Only in Liverpool could long forgotten prog and psychedelic bands and artists such as Floyd, Genesis, Beefheart, Zappa and Hawkwind assume a revisionist importance. And whilst now I can appreciate that this deliberate anti-fashion stance was entirely genuine and indeed an example of scouse contrariness quite in keeping with the times (see ‘Stoner Scal Tapes’ in the archive section of http://www.swinemagazine.co.uk/), at the time it felt like a betrayal of sorts, as if Liverpool was happy enough to listen to the likes of Ian McNabb’s ropey Neil Young impression or Umma Gumma for the rest of time.

The first Liverpool club I went to was The State in 1984 and to be honest, I was immensely disappointed not only by the music but the general attitude of the clientele. My own small-town club where I collected glasses, The Cherry Tree had a more adventurous musical policy, mixing the best scouse pop anthems (Echo's 'Rescue' China Crisis's 'African & White') with electronic synth-pop and hip hop (Human League’s 'Hard Times', Whodini's 'Magic's Wand' Kurtis Blow’s ‘The Breaks’) classic funk and disco (Rick James's 'Give It To Me Baby', Funkadelic's 'Not Just Knee Deep' Gino Soccio's 'Try It Out' The Gap Band's 'Burn Rubber On Me’) with crossover monsters (The Clash's 'Rock The Casbah' The Jam's 'Town Called Malice' etc) - nowt too startling there and we certainly didn't think it was anything to write home about but once those opening riffs of say Rescue or Try It Out blasted out, the dancefloor was crammed with 400 or so young scals and scalettes. What The Cherry lacked in cutting edge music it more than made up for in atmosphere. It was both fashion catwalk and fighting arena, the girls were impossibly glamorous and unattainable. The lads were impossibly tough and aggressive. The convoluted fashions and attitudes of the ‘hip set’ who frequented those clubs that the likes of The Face and i-D celebrated meant less than zero to the way we dressed and the way we danced.

Ironically it was two scouse girls who taught me the latest moves to 'Try It Out' and by us it was definitely the scousers who were unashamed disco heads, in part because that was the music the girls danced to and therefore the music you had to listen and dance to in order to cop off, yet there was also a sincere love of disco, funk and soul with the Average White Band and Earth Wind & Fire LPs far more common in LP collections than say U2 or Big Country. I vividly remember an ex-punk mate of mine proudly showing off his Rick James ‘Streetlife’ LP to me and how I got laughed at by older ‘Simple Minds’ teds at work when they spotted Imagination’s 'Nightdubbing' LP in my bag. Disco still sucked by and large, not only in mainstream ‘Hitman & Her’ style clubs but also supposedly cutting edge venues too.

My first visits to both the Hacienda and the State in that winter of 83/84 were therefore both massive let-downs in comparison to the Cherry; the big city scenes we'd heard so much about and had expected to be blown away by were relatively timid and retrogressive to what we'd been used to. Ofcourse there were 'specialist' clubs and bars but young soulboys were limited to a few alldayers and allnighters that tended to be overwhelmingly dominated by northern soul, itself a self-contained and closed scene living on past glories and sentiments. Although I loved northern I knew that the scene was a cul-de-sac, a culture that relished not only obscurity for its own sake but cherished a musical and political purism that forever kept black American music shackled to the past. We wanted to break free from that self-imposed rigidity of thought and yet, with both the northern and southern jazz funk scenes, conservatism held sway and there was very little progression.

The Hacienda was physically and musically cold, the space too antiseptic and clinical. Post-Warhol NY industrial chic that aped Danceteria’s aesthetic with one big difference; Downtown Manhattan and downtown Manchester were thousands of miles apart both culturally and geographically. It wasn’t until the summer of 88 and the ecstatic rush of acid house that the Hacienda briefly fulfilled its promise. And this was more by accident than design. Meanwhile back in Liverpool The State was a more opulent, old fashioned dance parlour still relying too heavily on accepted musical orthodoxies. Resident DJ, Steve Proctor tried to push things forward but after requesting one song, I remember him telling me that he loved the tune but wouldn’t play it as it wouldn’t go down well in there. That was his predicament as a DJ, to keep the floor moving you had to play it safe and play to the crowd. Breaking new songs, new scenes in this climate is always difficult and reliant on the crowd entirely trusting the DJ, which is what happened in Manchester with Mike Pickering, in Nottingham with Graeme Park and in London with Danny Rampling.

Liverpool missed the boat by a good few years and although there were places such as The Underground, The Twilight Zone and later Smile and G-Love, it took a good two or three years for most venues to properly latch onto what was happening. Then of course The Quad came and later Cream and whilst both venues secured their place in popular folklore and legend, neither were exactly cutting edge, moving into the gap that other, earlier clubs had vacated. That’s not to say they weren’t good clubs in their own right, at least initially but that they achieved success and notoriety once other people had done all the hard work.

Cream especially came to symbolise the shift away from clubbing as a musical to an entertainment experience. It also ushered in a form of conservatism that eschewed radical dance and electronic progression in favour of lowest common denominator formulaic grooves. Smile had been the ‘balearic’ night in Liverpool and although it had a loyal and committed bunch of regulars, it soon became obvious that the real money and power was being invested away from niche scenes into would would become so-called ‘superclubs.’ During the 90s, clubbing became big business and everyone, the dealers, the promoters, the DJs and yes, the clubbers too wanted a part of it. This was the ‘lifestyle’ people aspired to; it was a fallacy for 99% of the punters ofcourse but the coke n’ champagne n’ Ibiza n’ Miami Utopian dream was what made DJs such as Oakenfold and Judge Jules such big names. They traded on this superstar DJ myth and in the process destroyed any credibility they once had in order to serve a demand for what became laughably known as ‘trance.’

Whether it was because Liverpool’s nightlife venues have always been largely controlled by people whose first love is not music but money and showing off, the fact that other cities of similar sizes could sustain several inter-connected or even unrelated scenes whereas Liverpool became a wasteground of cheesy chart rave and 'look-at-me' 'funky' house. OK so No Fakin and Fukd Up Ravers atleast attempted to do something different during the 90s but the crowd wasn’t there, or not in big enough numbers to sustain themselves anyway.

Chibuku and Circus followed the Cream model; they bought in big and no-one can fault their programming yet they’re not and never will be ‘underground’ no matter how hard they try. DJs and promoters who made their money in the 90s bear some responsibility for the conservatism of today’s scene. There is a fear of risk taking, a short-term profit incentive that refuses to allow nights to build and establish themselves. As a result diversity and experimentation suffer as everyone chases the easy buck. Manchester seems to be able to cope with self-sufficient specialist club nights and scenes be they hip hop, techno, drum n’ bass or ahem, ‘cosmic disco’ and at the same time provide the funky house crowd with more than enough venues to live out their Fierce Angels fantasies, why can’t Liverpool?

Gold In The Shade, Hive Collective and the forthcoming Pigeonhole Disco and Archive nights are attempting to narrow that chasm between Liverpool’s ‘underground’ and mainstream. For too many years those of us who’ve tried to put on different nights have complained about the lack of venues willing to support underground nights and about punters who go for the easy option, relying on big names who more than often take the easy buck and rest on their laurels. Yet, when it comes down to it, we all want our own slice of the pie too, we compete against each other or else we don’t bother at all. I’m as guilty as anyone in this respect, disillusion and cynicism took a hold long ago yet over the past few months, I’ve decided that maybe there is common ground between the more imaginative elements of Merseyside’s dance and electronic community, networks that can be built to bring us out of this lethargy and despondency. Liverpool’s lack of an alternative cultural infrastructure has allowed the mainstream to call the shots. A so-called ‘capital of culture’ needs to nurture and support diversity and forward-thinking strategies so that Liverpool doesn’t rely on past glories, forever re-living and regurgitating the past, a theme park karaoke parade of Mop Tops, Erics Punks, Cream Ravers and The fucking Wombats!

We don’t really want to end up Quadrant Park On Ice in five years time do we?

Original Pirate Material

Original Pirate Material
Originals - Compiled by Moonboots & Balearic Mike (Claremont 56)

Described as ‘twelve rare and exclusive tracks selected by Moonboots and Balearic Mike,’ ‘Originals’ is a new series from Paul ’Mudd’ Murphy’s fantastic ‘Claremont 56’ imprint.

In those rarified ‘Balearic Network’ circles Mick n’ Moon (as no-one calls em) have achieved, if not the financial security that their taste deserves, then at least the critical acclaim of self-appointed Movers & Shakers and even Mookers n’ Shavers.

With ’Originals’ it’s easy to see why they’ve managed to achieve this level of esteem, for make no mistake, these twelve ‘jams’ (as me ma calls em) underline just how deep some DJs are prepared to dig in order to extract Balearic nuggets of rare quality. Knowing just how jealously these lads guard their sources, the first thing that amazed me was that there was a, no doubt contractually binding, playlist included, not that any normal human being would have either the time or inclination to track down most of these uberbalearobscurities.

‘Originals’ begins with Moon’s choice of Sth Notional’s ’Yawn Yawn Yawn,’ a perfect start for such a compilation. Waves wash gently against the shore as a cello and piano combine to take you on a methadone meltdown before aching spoken word vocal oozes cosmic serenity and somnambulant charm. Yawn? I almost came!

Next up is Mike’s cut; Byron’s ’Too Much’ a bouncy boogie-ish belter that gets the foot a-tapping and the chin a-stroking kidda.

Band Aid’s ’A Tour In Italy (dub)’ is another Moon sleckshun and perhaps a contender for The Most Balearic Record Ever! Glockenspiel opening riff? Check! Tinny trumpet? Check! Oozy woozy synth? Check! Bubbly wubbly bass? Check! Funky Chic riff? Check! Irritatingly catchy chorus? Check! Ludicrous foreign vocals? Checkafuckinroony! ‘By the sea, right by the sea! A big un on the Anny Road in 86 this un.

Next up Tony Esposito’s ‘Je Na’ a Mike favourite both for the man’s sartorial elegance - think Doobies era Michael McDonald meets Bob Latchford circa 76 - and the man’s undoubted way with a Euro-pop piece of Dada-ist nonsense. This is pure Alfredo era aceness with a boss break to boot.

Radio Band’s ‘Radio Rap’ is another of Mike’s selections, an Italo-rap masterpiece that provides a clue why there aren’t more Italo-Rap masterpieces out there. Put simply, Italians were not put on God’s green earth to rap and yet there is an undeniable charm in this ultra 80s sounding mock hop which was apparently tracked down via an ancient Ron Hardy mix.

Two Moon grafts next: The Night S-Press’s ‘Dance’ is a poppy gem that fuses the piano riff from The Thrashing Doves proto-Balearic stomper, ‘Jesus On The Payroll’ with a Madonna style vocal and is followed by the Midnight Express sampling dub hop of B:Dum B:Dum’s ‘Instanbul.’ Think The Scream’s ‘Loaded’ meets the Fry’s Turkish Delight advert with Adrian Sherwood producing.

For Mike’s next slab; Fist Of Fact’s ’First Strike’ the man provides copious notes regarding the track’s provenance, informing we amateur diggers that the tune is a ’lesser known gem that appeared on the b-side of a Swiss only release back in 98‘. Sounds like Sal Principato doing PIL to me, but that can only be good.

The next two tracks belong to Moon. Balearic Godfather Phil Mison’s ‘Cantoma’ alter-ego gets the nod with his usual sun-drenched compositions for string and oboe on ‘Maja (Dub)‘ bringing the compilation back down a notch or two back to the sun n’ sea n’ saucy senoritas vibe….. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, get the petherdine out Harold! Come on, Primrose, sup up, it’s time to put on Mountaineer’s ’A Town Called Ivanhoe’ and get the treasure chest out. Described by Moon as ‘Lovely, modern German bossa’ he could be referring to Jurgen Klinsmann but somehow I doubt it.

Mike then provide’s Flayer’s gorgeous ‘Wanna Get Back Your Love’ which he imagines as 10cc’s I’m Not In Love if recorded in Ibiza instead of Stockport. I kinda know where he’s coming from but to many people Stockport IS San Antonio. Whatever, it’s a suitably warm and cosy note to end on….but then as a bonus track we get Smith & Mudd’s ‘Wem’ perhaps the only down tempo funkalearic track to name check a small Shrospshire town (apart from the Wooden tops ‘Church Stretton Blues’ that is!)

All in all, ‘Originals’ is what we at Café del Lar would term ’proper old skool Balearic’ that fits together like a plate of squid and a bottle of Cava sangria with a poncho on, playing the castanets…..on a donkey…..in Ardwick! And it doesn’t get better than that!

Virus Syndicate - Sick Pay (Planet Mu)

Virus Syndicate are a Manchester grime crew yet chat like they’re from Hackney not Hulme. This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. Back in the day, if British MCs adopted or imitated a style then it was almost certainly that cod New York accent associated with the best American rappers. Remember Derek B, Monie Love and all those other plazzy Bronx pretenders? Cringe worthy wasn’t in it. With the emergence of a unique British MC style allied to ragga, jungle and later UK Garage and now Grime, it appears that all regional accents and styles have mutated into a pan-British Black (Cockney) Twang. If you didn’t know that Virus Syndicate came from Manchester you’d swear they were from the same yard as Roll Deep. One line on ‘Won’t Give Up’ goes ; ‘I’m a Manchester man not a Cockney’ yet the MC sounds as Cockney as pie and mash (up).


This aside, ‘Sick Pay’ is a fantastic demonstration of just how far British MCing has evolved and improved over those two decades since Derek B and co. Instead of pretending to be something they’re not, our MCs have finally fused the best elements of their Jamaican toasting culture with the inventive rhyme schemes of US rap. What separates Grime from most US ‘urban’ styles however, is the inventive use of beats and samples. Most mainstream Hip hop and R&B remains rooted in tired grooves and familiar lyrical and musical clichés, whilst grime has carved out its own soundscapes from UK genres such as drum n’ bass and dubstep as well as hip hop and dancehall. Infact I’d go as far as saying that, at their best, our MCs offer a superior alternative to most US rappers.

And make no mistake, Virus MCs Goldfinger, JSD and Nika-D are amongst the best in the UK. The intricate, complex flows of their lyrics and the inventive backdrops provided by DJ/producer MRK1 give ‘Sick Pay’ a playfulness sadly lacking in too many so-called ‘urban’ genres. ‘Taxman Returns’ ‘Dippin’ ‘Neva Argue’ and ‘Kane n’ Abel’ meld Eastern bhangra and Arabic sounds to Spartan drum patterns and whilst this is hardly original, it suits the frenetic lyrical flow far better than all those Timbaland-lite cut n’ paste jobs. ‘Vibrator’ has a bubbling electro feel and ‘Live At The Apollo’ uses a ‘My Sharona-esque’ guitar loop to detail how the crew have evolved over the past decade. This track and ‘Neva Argue’ also get remixes from Various Production and the whole LP hangs together as a truly accurate document of modern British inner city life both lyrically and sonically. There is sex and drug dealing and getting paid and crime and boasting and all the usual stuff of rap and a life of grime but it never feels overplayed, never feels too fantastical and clichéd just VS being honest and passionate about their own skills and experiences.

As they say on ‘Infected’ “call the nurse, cos my verses are so sick, no-one can cure me, I’m honestly poorly.” Grime has indeed infected British culture and has spawned some of the most skilfull and dexterous spit merchants this country has ever produced. Many like the Virus boys matching the turbo-flow theatrics and abstract stream of consciousness of Busta or Doom. It’s good to see labels like Planet Mu who have supported the band for four years now broadening their appeal to cover grime as well as avant-electronica. More UK labels should follow their example and offer these MCs and producers the opportunity to break out of the music industry’s self-imposed ghetto.

Release date 6-10-08

Windsurf's Coastlines/Bent's Art Of Chill/CDL Jukey

Windsurf – Coastlines (Internasjonal)

Nu-balearic LPs are like shite jokes about busses, you wait ages for one to come along and then two come together; hot on the heels of Hatchback’s ‘Colors Of The Sun,’ Sam Graw and Dan Judd’s respective Hatchback and Sorcerer aliases have fused for the first Windsurf longplayer. As with Lindstrom and Prins Thomas’s joint efforts, it’s difficult to see where Sorcerer ends and the Hatchback begins. To help us, each co-surfer has listed his own influences in the shape of a ‘cosmic ven diagram’; Sorcerer gives us the likes of Arthur Russell, Ned Doheney, Gabor Szabo, Hawaii, kung fu, dolphins, old drum machines, Todd Rundgren, Fleetwood Mac and Xanadu. Hatchback provides Vangelis, David Axelrod, Brains Eno, Conny Plank, ELO, white blazers, Fender Rhodes, Steely Dan, flea markets and Cluster.

Together, they are Windsurf and they make the kind of epic electronic AOR, some (OK, me!) have christened ‘Callyearic.’ As the title suggests, this records evokes languorous, hazy evenings with the waves lapping gently against the shoreline. With tracks called Moonlight Sun, Light As Daylight, Bird Of Paradise and The Big Island, you pretty know much what to expect. Returning home from a weekend in Wales with the September sunlight shining off the lakes and mountains of Snowdonia, it all made perfect sense (although the missus classed it as ‘boring’). It’s no coincidence that this LP is being released on Prins Thomas’s ‘Internasjonal’ imprint. If you’re tired of the cosmic-nu-balearic-scando-cally-earic hype, then I’d swerve this but if, like me, you find another wet and windy summer is only made bearable by music this warm and optimistic, then seek it out.

Release date – 27th October

The Art Of Chill – Bent (Platypus)

Would you buy a compilation called The Art Of Chill? No neither would I, so it’s lucky I got sent this from the good folks at epm. Bent are one of those bands who always appear on the zillions of ‘Now That’s What I Call The Very Best Of Ibiza Sunset Chill Bar Grooves 5’ CDs in Asda but that’s not their fault. Along with Boards Of Canada, Lamb, Groove Armada et al, Bent have become a Chill-By-Numbers outfit which is a shame because their music is often sublime and beautiful in its arrangement. This compilation provides a stunning insight into Simon Mills and Neil ‘Nail’ Tolliday’s tastes. Each Bent-ster (as we at Swine call em) ‘curates’ his own compilation and whilst the tone is similar on both, Nail’s is the more avant-garde and the more interesting. Make no mistake; there is music on this compilation that will amaze and surprise you, whether that’s minimal abstract classical, spooky disjointed electronica or perhaps one of the most remarkable singing performances I’ve ever heard; The Bulgarian Female Vocal Choir’s ‘Kalimankou Denkou.’ No shit! As the man says himself in his notes;

‘My old friend Katty played this to me about 14 years ago and I was sceptical at first. I’m glad she insisted because after about five seconds I was in floods of tears, I’d never heard anything before quite as beautiful.’

So, ignore The Art Of Chill as a brand name and seek this magnificent compilation out, you won’t be disappointed.

Release date – 13th October

Café del Lar Jukebox

Listen The Snow Is Falling – Yoko Ono & Plastic Ono Band
I Betray My Friends - OMD
Molde Canticle Pt 4 – Jan Garbarek
Never Say Never – John Martyn
Beauty & The Beast – DJ Taylor
Love Aint An Easy Thing – Neil Sedaka
Call Me (Instru) – Blondie
Livin’ For The City (Bullring Mix) – Cook da Books
TVOD – The Normal
Perfumed Garden – Rah Band
Voila – Francoise Hardy
Ice Cream Van - Glasvegas
Pigs (In There) – Robert Wyatt
Time Becomes/Planet Of The Shapes - Orbital

All Good - Runcorn's very own Sanctuary.

The brief was simple - classic disco, funk n' soul - the DFS approach. The venue; my local' the Traveller's Rest (aka The Tup) in Runcorn, where unbelievably I had one of my best New Year's Eve's last year with local northern DJs cooking up a storm. Always a bit of a backwater, Runcorn's 'dance scene' such as it is, never really recovered from the closure of Gaz Crilly's brilliant 'Stoned Soul Picnic' nights at the Panorama and later The View if Frodsham.

Runcorn, like Widnes and Warrington has always had a strong allegiance to northern and at one point Halton (the joint borough of Widnes and Runcorn) had it's own Soul Club which basically meant local DJ and 'character' Harry Dennett persuading Edwin Starr and the like to (rumour has it) stay over at his terraced house on the Grange council estate (where I grew up) before appearing at the Queen's Hall in Widnes at various alldayers. Some of these events were great but the northern scene has always been a strange, closed world and as we realised that anything that deviated slightly from the Detroit/60s template would NEVER be accepted in such purist circles, we moved onto clubs in Liverpool and Manchester (and even places like Blackburn's Peppermint Place) where 'progressive' dance music was played.

This was the mid-80s before house totally took over and our little crew were regulars at most events in the surrounding area, especially the first Upnorth weekenders in Blackpool and Southport. And now we're all getting older and some of us have grown up kids and some of have young kids and most of us can't be arsed driving out to Manchester or Liverpool, so we make do with life in a (very boring) northern town.

Ofcourse we could've played the latest Terje remixes and deep Estonian space-disco 12s from 1978 but instead began with Barry White's version of 'Standing In The Shadows Of Love' and ended with Shalamar's 'Night To Remember.'

Inbetween there was Philly, Stax, Gamble, Atlantic, Motown, RAK (Mickey Most - Britain's Tom Moulton? We think so!), West End, Casablanca, Solar, Tamla, Jay Boy, Buddha, Fourth & Broadway, King, Ze, Verve, Direction, Salsoul, Whitfield, TSOP and Prelude; nothing too obscure (although the Eddie Kendricks instrumental version of I Am A Cider Drinker got the trainspotters pestering me for the identity of my cover-up), nothing too pretentious or conceptual, not the kind of stuff we'd really play for ourselves given a totally free reign, but hey, this is fucking RUNCORN!!

We enjoyed it, so did the crowd and even the bouncers joined in for the finale 'get ready, baaaby, tonight, darrrrlin' gonna make this a niiiiight to remeeeeemberrrr!' Now fuck off, the milkman's here!

Detroit Grand Pubahs/Rza Bobby Digital

another few reviews if you be arsed.

Detroit Grand Pubahs ' Nuttin Butt Funk (Det.Ele.Funk)

Somewhere along the way techno lost da funk. I don't really know when this happened having lost interest in Detroit's 'hi-tech jazz' somewhere in the mid-90s. Bleep I could live with and whilst I admired the Cornish tech miners (Aphex, Vibert) and the likes of Autechre, Paradinas, Jenkinson, their brand of 'drill n' bass' operated somewhere on the outer reaches of intergalactic funk. Meanwhile whilst appreciating Hawtin's minimalist genius, his techwank left me cold. Jeff Mills, Carl Craig, UR all passed me by to be honest.

So, I've been attempting to re-educate myself over the past four years or so. What confuses me is all the hybrids; tech-house, intelligent glitchkore, tech-dub, booty-step, deep-click etc. But what it all boils down really is da funk. Modern funk, mutant funk, funk not as a 70s pimpsploitation cliche but as an evolving technological artform.

When the UK and Germany replaced Detroit as the centres for techno's commercial and some would say artistic centre, the circle seemed complete; Kraftwerk's Teutonic synth-funk influences black American musicians and DJs who produce their own takes on this sound and export back to the Fatherland. Yet what the music lost in this process was the essential funk of the grooves.

Nuttin Butt Funk reasserts the essence of Detroit Techno, not that it ever went away but serves as a timely reminder that for all the recent hype surrounding the likes of Villalobos et al, back in the ghettoes that spawned techno, the emphasis is still on the visceral thump thump head noddin' qualities of the music.

Beginning with the cosmic opener (costech?) track 'Skydive From Venus' with its tinkling piano and muffled bass, this LP takes in pounding tits out stompers like 'Message From Overkill' and 'Crystal', the best p-funk tune Clinton never made, 'Rollin' Paper & Bush,' the squelchy electro of 'Earth Hoes', deep tech flow of '50,000 Legions', the insane whump whump hardcore of 'ChiTown Shuffle' and several deeply silly 'skits.'

There is a seriousness to some tracks especially the Funkadelic style Rollin' Paper & Bush which takes a swipe at the cultural appropriation of black art forms, although this is balanced with the humourous (yet deeply sexist) 'Earth Hoes' and 'Butt Market.' The Grand Pubahs are not sonic crusaders like UR or Mills, they offer GettoTech that is accessible to even non-techno disciples such as myelf. Nuttin Butt Funk indeed.

Rza as Bobby Digital - Digi Snacks (Bodog)

Rappers, like squaddies exist in a state of perpetual adolescence. They appear to have rejected the usual trajectory of adulthood - responsibilities and all that boring straight shit - to indulge in a blunts n' hoes Utopia of sex n' weed on tap. OK, so most people in the music biz act in a similar way but rappers, even supposedly intelligent ones like Rza, appear to wallow in this shallow pool of decadent sensuality for far longer than most. Having a dig at Robert Diggs is hip hop heresy but here goes;

Let's begin with the artwork. The illustrated front cover sees our masked hero on a throne, surrounded by six concubines of varying ethnic origin. The usual Wu quasi-Samurai/Kung Fu adornments accompany this Digital despot and he stares coldly, dispassionately at us, like some terrible sultan about to pass sentence of death by a thousand cuts. The inside comic artwork attempts to convey some kind of dark urban narrative to the LP, as if it's a 'concept' maaan. Yet what we get is just the same old, same old. Guns n' sex n' quack science n' third rate philosophy. And it's not bad, some of it the epic 'You Can't Stop Me Now' and the superb 'Don't Be Afraid' are equal to any other Rza or solo Wu effort, it's just.....you expect MORE from Rza.

The Wu are thru! They've had their moment in the sun and for a while they were as important and vital in re-shaping hip hop for a new decade, a new generation as had been Public Enemy or De La Soul. Their problem was stretching the Rza sonic template far too wide. The initial lo-fi thrill of 36 Chambers was replaced by formula beats, familiar tricks, leaden, lazy raps. Too much of Digi Snacks is just Rza by numbers, it leads nowhere, it's a sonic, aesthetic and commercial dead end. Hip hop has always evolved to sustain itself but it seems that Rza and the entire Wu collective have simply ran out of steam. There are younger, hungier rappers and producers out there and perhaps, Bobby Digital should take a look around and y'know grow up a bit.

Hang Loose fanzine 1990

Yet another of my short-lived and totally unsuccessful attempts to enter the lo-fi world of fanzine culture armed only with a marker pen, a friendly typist at work and the Dept Of Lies trusty photocopier. If I could be arsed scanning it in, I would but I can't so here are a few slected bits n' bobs from issue 2

Fashion Forecast Winter 90-91

2nd hand socks
slip-on undies
putting your hair in a bun (dig at deee-lite? can't remember)
prussian aristocrat muzzies (weatherall got the idea here)
sad cardys with maps of africa on the back (Harvey got the idea here)
sumo wrestler barnets (dee-lite again?)
dressing like a hassidic jew
violet, orange and yellow checked trews (rupert got the idea here)
fireman helmets
balloon jeans and smoothy belts
bukta trackies
Boys Brigade hats
cut-down pacamacs
digital watches that bleep
suede socks
platform slippers
adidas tattoos on your buttocks
bullet belts
camouflage staffs
double-breasted t-shirts
george best yeti beards
jummy sale parkas with no arms
skiddy kilts
'i think the poll tax is a rather good idea actually' t-shirts
CID raincoats
afro wigs

Pensionari

It's the youth cult that's sweeping the nation. Yes all across Britain kids are copying the dress sense of their grandparents for that authentic OAP look which the fashion press have Christened 'Pensionari' - out have gone hooded jeans and baggy shoes, in have come brown check suits, trilbys, scuffed hobnails and starched vests. 'Pensionari' don't drive around in flash cars, they gather at bus stops and moan about the poll tax, kids today, bus fares etc. Their favourite meeting places are post offices, cafes, poll tax demonstrations and funerals. They are vociferous and they know their rights. Top accessories include war medals, tartan shopping trollies, lethal weapon walking sticks and massive bags full of dog food, chicory coffee, butterscotch toffees, sticks of rhubarb and pig's bladders. Don't ever fuck with the pensionari or you'll get a herring slapped in your face sharpish!

No Guru, No Method, No Teacher - Hang Loose Playlist

reasons to be cheerful pt 3 - ian dury
it's her factory - gang of four
it's a love thing - the whispers
soul bongo - little stevie
scorpio - grandmaster flash
cloud 9 - the temptations
staisfaction guaranteed - harold melvin and the bluenotes
let the world wait for you - archie bell and the drells
cast a spell - the turnpikes
look through my eyes - rufus and chaka khan
lions after slumber - scritti politti
one trick pony - paul simon
rumours - hot chocolate
undercover - rolling stones
pyjamarama - roxy music
black dahlia - david toop
interference - model 500
amor amor - gipsy kings
bewildered - james brown
walk on into my heart - bobbie smith
smokey - funkadelic
theme from barney miller
i'm down - the beatles
what can i do - boz scaggs
mardi gras - lonnie liston smith
talkin all that jazz - stetsasonic
transmitting live from mars - de la soul
oasis - happy mondays
funeral pyre - the jam
dazed and confused - led zepellin

stick it all in, fuck off the purists, checkpoint charlie is no more! (ah the idealism of youth)

Are You Ready For The Crazy Sound Of Ulster?

Put on your balaclava and hijack the nearest taxi cos Ulster Beat is with us. Every day down at the docks you can see the fun-loving gangs of happy-go-lucky paramilitaries waxing their kalashnikovs in readiness for a day of surfin' and knee-cappin.' Here are some of Ulsterbeat's top records:

Surfin' UDA
Two Guns For Every Boy
Good Bomb Vibrations
When I Grow Up To Be A Terrorist

Five New Music Crazes For 1991

Indie-Bhangra - groups such as The Wedding Present, Ned's Atomic Dustbin and The Pixies will crossover/sell out by fusing their guitar frenzied rock with Indian sitars and bongos to create a totally poo musical hybrid - Top Tune : I'm Into Footy Me by Ravi Shankar feat Liu Reed and The Fall

Coma Pulse Music - New Age landscapes for people who enjoy listening to seaweed. Burnt out tossers from 1973 into synthesisers will concoct an ethereal mood music which combines life support system noises and mating dolphins - Top Tune : Cumulus Rex by Brian Eno feat a shoal of migrating salmon (think this was aimed at The Orb)

Orkney Beat - A new dance sound created when top house DJs holiday in the Orkneys and bring back the eclectic happy-go-lucky spirit of Highland Scotland to London clubs - Top Record : Straight Outa Peebles by MC Mungo McTavish feat Paul Oakenfold

Thrashrap - A musical collision of thrash metal and hip hop performed by long haired mid-west metal bands in sad trainers and Public Enemy t-shirts. Every band will have a black bass player with dreadlocks and a mad lead singer with skateboard tattoos. Top Tune : Da Bitch Done Dissed Me by Faith No More feat Saddam Husseinski

Pubadelic - Two bit pub bands with 16 year old drummers will buy lots of War LPs and sample rioting Leeds fans to produce a groundbreaking fusion of badly played Bootsy Collins basslines and Sham 69 prole vocals. Top Tune - There's Only One Georgey Clinton by Flowered Up feat Sly Stone.

Clubbed Senseless

The whole world it seems has been convinced into believing that 'clubbing' is the only relevant form of leisure-time in the 90s. Goths, doleys, estate agents, plumbers, actors, peelers, vicars...you name it, they're all participating in the latest crazzy youth phenomenon. Ofcourse back in the early 80s it was a West End clique of veteran trendys who recieved all the glory. Face, i-D and Blue Rondo types formed a mutual appreciation society and advertised their irrelevant lifestyles as some kind of recession-escapist Nirvana.

Then the acid scene dumped these self-important W1 wankers firmly on their arses and democratised the dancefloor Karl Marx stylee. The only problem now being that every Tom, Dick and Barry Grant got in on the act and the bad old days of elistism didn't seem that bad after all. An influx of dodgy indie kids, Sloanes, beer monsters and general bints was bound to cause a snobbish backlash but if we're going to return to Bob Elms types in their Telecom Des Garcons whistles ( I know the banana) supping Thai rice wine and discussing Dada, then I suggest that other avenues of leisuredom be explored. How about fly-fishing, hiking, making balloon animals, sheep farming or simply going to bed at 7.30 with a book a glass of Vimto?

Taking Penalties - How the stars do it

Mark Hughes scissor kicks it
Chris Waddle dummys it
Vinny Jones jumps on it and stabs it
Gazza stuffs it up his shirt and runs into the back of the nets with it
John Barnes runs up, falls down and claims a penalty (and gets it)
Clayton Blackmore rapes it
Peter Beardsley scares it to death
Brian McClair snots all over it
Mo Johnstone buys it a drink and then glasses it

Cherry Faves (local disco-tek's top tunes from 82/83)

african and white - chinca crisis
burn rubber on me - gap band
rescue - echo and the bunnymen
the model - kraftwerk
give it to me baby - rick james
rock the casbah - the clash
messages - omd
not just knee deep - funkadelic
magic's wand - whodini
funkin for jamaica - tom browne

August/September New Releases

Hatchback - Colours Of The Sun (Lo Recordings)

Music like this and that of the Scandolearic Dons could only be made by the sea. Whether it's Samuel Milton Grawe aka Hatchback's California or Rune Lindbaek's Norway, there's the feeling of open expanses and salt air and - yawn - space! Lots of space, space inbetween the spaces, both physical and spiritual. Endless horizons and miles of desolate shoreline. After being The Sorcerer's apprentice for a while, Quick Draw McGrawe has emerged as a real challanger to Dan Judd's cosmo-cali crown with this startlingly good LP. Recording together as Windsurf, they share a similar ethos, reclaiming the AOR West Coast heritage and fusing it with Euro synth-prog to produce 21st century epics. Essential!

Release Date - 22nd September

Various - Cosmic Balearic Beats Vol 1 (Eskimo)

The original Bealric Beats Vol 1 (there never was a Vol2) was released 20 years ago in 1988 and maybe more than any other compliation, changed what we now call 'dance' music for ever. With the re-birth of interest in all things 'balearic' this release is a timely reminder that the original ethos of balearia never went away. Mixed by Skinny Joey, these tracks serve as an antidote to the likes of Fred Deakin's cash-in Nu-Balearica comp on Ministry Of Sound (are they STILL going?). Maybe it's a tribute to that original Ibizan template of togetherness that a Belgian label has served up a cracking tribute to Balearic Beats with contributions form the UK, US, Belgium, Germany and Italy. Wasn't that what Amnesia was supposed to be all about?

Release Date - 6th October

Red Snapper - Pale Blue Dot (Lo Recordings)

More fishocentric funk from the Snappers, now back to a three piece and honking that Fela-esque sax with wild abandon. After listening to nowt but nu-cosmo-balearia-space-disco for the last three centuries, Red Snapper's organic blend of afro-dub-funk-electronica comes as a bit of a refreshing change. There are even cosmic-rockabilly (cockabilly??)tinges here with dub-slap-bass action and two remixes;Subway's take on Brickred and my favourite, the Kelpe remix of Clam. This LP (extended EP really - only 6 tracks plus the two remixes) was recorded live in the studio and that really comes across with an almost freestyle/jam feel to the tracks, but ina good way! Good to have the whippersnappers back after too long an absence.

Release Date - 6th October

Thanks to Jonas at epm for review copies

Other CDL recommendations

Funky Nassau - The Compass Point Story 1980-1986 (Strut)

Been out a while this but is essential listening for anyone with even the slightest interest in the evolution of modern music. Put simply, Chris Blackwell of Island Record's Bahamian studio became perhaps the most innovative production space of the 80s with its 'drum n' bass' super-duo, Sly and Robbie, producer Wally Badarou and the creme of New York's No Wave/Mutant Disco crowd all maxing n' relaxin and soaking up the laidback Caribbean vibes. Grace Jones, Tom Tom Club, Talking Heads, Gwen Guthrie, Ian Dury, Chaz Jankel, Will Powers tracks, FK, Larry Levan mixes, dubs, 12 inch versions, obscurities, there's something different about all these tracks, even the familiar ones. Lovingly packaged with extensive sleevenotes, this is the kind of compliation that makes me weep when I see all those tacky Ibiza Bliss abortions stocked up in row after row of funky house Fierce Angel futility.

Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (4AD)

The sthick goes like this; Justin Vernon aka Bon Iver (French for Good Winter if you knock off an H) splits with bird, retreats into the wilds of Wisconsin during the winter of 2006/07 and pours his heart and soul into these nine tracks of loneliness and despair. In his freezing wooden shack, Bon kills and eats a deer to keep him going and with only the merest hint of production and 'additional recording' the songs write themselves. It's a good story and I even think some of it may be true. There's no doubting Bon's despair, each song being more or less an ode to his ex, the Emma of the title no doubt. I should hate it but there's no two ways about it, this is a beautiful record with Vernon's achingly morose voice and the spartan arrangements highlighting the minimalist 'one man and his songs' philosophy of the 'concept.' There are elements of Jose Gonzalez's stripped bare guitar style and the alt-folk-harmonics of Fleet Foxes. At times the lyrics are at once self-indulgent 'and if all your love was wasted then who the hell was I?' yet totally heartfelt. I'd advise Justin 'to get over it' but if he did, then he wouldn't have produced such a gorgeous record as this.

No Notion Disco

AKA A Rainy Sunday Afternoon in Sankey Bridges, more of a selection than a mix per se;

Kiki Dee - Chicago (Rocket)
Space - Carry On Turn Me On (Obsessive)
Glass Candy - Miss Broadway (After Dark) (Italians Do It Better)/Cheech & Chong - Lard Ass (WB)
Otis Clay - The Only Way Is Up (Harmless)
Herbie Mann - Superman (Atlantic)
Walter Muphy - Uptown Serenade (Private Stock)
Santa Esmerelda - House of the Rising /Quasimodo SuIte(Philips/Fauves Puma)
Evelyn King - I Don't Know (Popular Peoples Front re-edit) (PPF)
L.T.D - Back In Love Again (A & M)
The Gap Band - Outstanding (Total Experience)
Harold Melvin & The Bluenotes - Wake Up Everybody (Pt's 1 & 2) (PIR)(with the merest sliver of Funkadelic to bridge it)


https://www.yousendit.com/download/TTdFYlJUb0JIcWZIRGc9PQ

Cuckoo Fanzine - are you balearic/Tony Wilson etc

Cuckoo no 1 – Turn on, tune in & slop out!

Cuckoo was one of my many short-lived fanzines from the late 80s/early 90s. Just re-discovered in me ma’s loft, along with Hang Loose nos, 1 & 2, (yet another fanzine concept that went no further than Widnes Market), I’ve decided to put a few bits n’ bobs from both titles up on here, just to remind myself of what a whopper I was/am!


Are You Really Balearic?

(note: this was done at the time of Spice, Ophelia, Venus etc when the ‘balearic network’ was in full swing and ‘dressing up’ as opposed to dressing like a ‘scally’ had once again become the door policy for many of these supposedly progressive clubs)

Much has been written about Balearic and most of it has been Ballorocks. Is Balearic a musical genre or an attitude? How do you say Balearic? Is it Bal-ear-ic, Bal-yerrick, Bally-eric or Can-aries? What do Balearic people look like? Loads of hair and a Radion logo t-shirt? No hair at all and a Telecom de Garcons sackcloth shirt? A bit of hair on their toes and a Colman’s Mustard New Age toga? The whole point of Balearic is not to take things too seriously, so here’s my complete guide to being utterly Bal-hee-herikk (proper Minorcan pronunciation). First of all watch all the quiz shows, adverts and soaps and develop your own wacky repertoire of tacky catchphrases such as ;

“Don’t put your daughter on the stage Mrs. Worthington!”
“And remember…the clues are there!”
“Oats! Pull the other one!”
“Pooh what a smelly horse!”
“Points mean prizes.”
“Hot pot please Bet!”
“Ragu, Ragu, brings out the Italian in you!”

This stage complete, you should go about concealing your public school background by adopting an orfenic Sarf Landan accent and brill rhyming slang ie. “Me Richard’s a stylist at Victor Baboons!” Ask your parents to ‘loan’ (give) you five grand to set up your own fanzine (called ‘Smash!’), record label (Corking Platters) and promotion company (Blooming Fabbo Events). Tell all and sundry that you used to be a Dorking Town hooligan and served time with Reg Kray, Ian Brady and Al Capone. If it all goes well and you’re accepted into the Balearic mafia then memorise the following list of Balearic Essentials:

Balearic Authors :

Martin Amis
William Burroughs
Bret Easton Ellis
J.D. Salinger
Aleister Crowley
Enid Blyton

Balearic Artists :

Aubrey Beardsley
Edward Burne-Jones
Roy Lichtenstein
Gustav Klimt
Tony Hart

Balearic Films :

2001 A Space Odyssey
Scorpio Rising
Blue Velvet
A Clockwork Orange
Un Chien Andalou
Metropolis
Altered States
Pink Flamingos
Snow White

Balearic Musicians :

The Orb
Santana
Gladys Knight
Philip Glass
Abba
Curved Air
Serge Gainsbourg
Windsor Davis and Don Estelle

Balearic TV :

The Price Is Right
Through The Keyhole
Coronation St
Neighbours
The Time, The Place
The 8.15 From Manchester
Wheel Of Fortune
Pebble Mill At One
Nationwide
The Harry Worth Show

There you go then! Balearic Mafiosi types always counter the accusation of elitism with the retort that they’re only taking the piss. So the next time you get refused entry into a Milky/Slammy/Spicy/Ducky event, simply tell the door-person that you’re the lovechild of Reg Holdsworth and Nancy Noise and you’ll have no hassle….and I mean that most sincerely folks!


Cuckoo’s Nest – top platters of yesteryear

Burning Down The House – Talking Heads
Feel The Chant – Spandau Ballet
Heart & Soul (Reprise) – Great Leap Forward
Wire (Dub) – U2
Wordyrappinghood – Tom Tom Club
Kissing With Confidence – Will Powers
Tusk – Fleetwood Mac
Strut Your Funky Stuff – Frantique
Bourgie Bourgie – Gladys Knight
Upside Down – Diana Ross
Undercover – Rolling Stones
Landscape – The Mohawks
Funk 49 – The James Gang
Make Me Smile – Chicago
The Crunch – Rah Band
Magic Fly – Space
Hard Times – Human League
Lifetime Love – Joyce Sims
Cold Getting Dumb – Just Ice
Follow Me Follow You – Genesis

Greavsie’s A to Z of Culture

(note Jimmy Greaves was the ‘outspoken’ ie bigoted, former alcoholic pundit on ITV’s Saint & Greavsie football show and prone to loony anti-lefty diatribes on TV and via his Sun column)

A is for Art – paintings and stuff
B is for Ballet – a load of puffs dancing
C is for Cinema – Patrick Swayze films and that
D is for Dada – Experimental German art school of the 1920s
E is for Existentialism – err!!!
F is for Freud – shagging and stuff
G is for Greek Civilisation – I like a few weeks in Rhodes
H is for Hamlet – I prefer Castella myself
I is for Impressionists – Bobby Davro and that lot
J is for Journalism – I write for The Sun
K is for Kafka – brilliant Czech novelist author of Metamorphosis
L is for Lagerfeld – I don’t touch the stuff any more
M is for Mondrian – my grandson could paint better than that twat
N is for Nobby Stiles – toothless hero of England’s 66 World Cup squad
O is for Opera – fat Italian bastards singing
P is for Pianists – like Chas and Dave
Q is for Queen Elizabeth – God bless yer maam!
R is for Roland Barthes – I new his brother, Municipal
S is for Shelley – workshy sit-com star played by Hywell Bennett
T is for Tennyson – I hate that Boris Becker!
U is for Umberto Eco – Italian metaphysical novelist, author of The Name Of The Rose
V is for Verdi – as in lasagne
W is for Wordsworth – he wandered lonely as a cloud. Prick!
X is for Xylophonists – Patrick Moore for example
Y is for Yeats – Liverpool defender of the 60s
Z is for Zen Buddhism – Oh fuck off and put Russ Abbott on!


10 Unusual Destinations For Your Foreign Rave Trip

Oumel-Bouaghi – Algeria
Cochabamba – Bolivia
Plzen – Czechoslovakia
Olafsfjoerdur – Iceland
Balik Papan – Indonesia
Antananarivo – Madagascar
Janakpur – Nepal
Pingtung – Taiwan
Chililabombwe – Zambia
Yap – The Federated States Of Micronesia

10 Wacky Venues For Your Invites Only Party

In your nan’s attic
Half way up Ben Nevis
Inside the belly of a whale
Underneath a particularly large cow
At a Boy’s Brigade bring n’ buy sale
On a Manchester Ship Canal dredger
In a chippy
3000 feet down a disused Cornish tin mine
In the bonnet of a Hillman Imp
At your mum and dad’s 25th wedding anniversary

10 strange things to wave above your head whilst dancing

An ostrich
A set of encyclopaedias
An inflatable dinghy
A life-size replica of the Elephant Man
A Black & Decker hedge-trimmer
A No Left Turn sign
Jim Bowen’s scalp
A 30 piece stainless steel cutlery set
The entire Tottenham Hotspur football team
The remains of a half eaten hippopotamus

10 names pop stars give their kids

Neptune Geronimo
Tostig Butterfly
Zachariah Moonboot Junior
Petal-Delicate Rainshower
Oxo
Billy Agamemnon
Mozart Amplifier Reverb Monitor
Ernie
Candlewax Bunty Flip-Flop
Organa Celery Herbivore

A Man For All Schemings (A Nightmare On Whitworth Street)

(note ; this was written just after the Hacienda had re-opened for business after the whole gangster closure fiasco – it was sent to Wilson himself who returned it with comments such as ‘bullshit’ scribbled on in red ink.)

Call him Tony! Call him Anthony! Call him Mr Wilson! Call him wanker! Call him whatever you like, the World’s Greatest Living Mancunian doesn’t give a flying fish. A man of many guises, this supremely self-confident – arrogant if you like – man plays different roles depending on his audience. Put him on Yoof TV and he’s the street smart patron of the dance scene, put him on a business programme and he’s the hard-nosed corporate supremo, put him on something arty and he’s the dialectical scholar. Stick this man anywhere and he’ll adapt, a smug chameleon in a 700 quid suit.

As boss of Factory Communications, Wilson has built up one of Britain’s largest independent music and media empires and, so he maintains, invested in his hometown’s economy, increased it’s cultural importance and cocked a snook at self-important, lethargic old London Town. Tony makes grand claims on behalf of his company but are they really worthy of the appreciative slap on the back that he so evidently feels they deserve?

In 1989, ‘Madchester’ that ill-defined, misunderstood movement made front covers not only in the British music press but also in foreign current affairs publications. But who had most to gain from this new freaky youth phenomenon? Mr A. H. Wilson of course. The scene’s leading band, The Happy Mondays were signed to his label and its spiritual home, The Hacienda, was his club. No wonder then that he engineered a farcical incident at the 1990 New Music Seminar by provoking black US techno-crats in the infamous ‘Wake Up America, You’re Dead’ debate. Madchester needed US exposure and Tony Wilson, the arch media manipulator, was determined to get it. He got it alright but the gap between his wayward champions of urban UK rock, the Mondays and suburban US rock was too great a gap to span and the kids of Kasey Kasem stuck with bands who had curly perms and wore leather pants.

At home meanwhile, Madchester was fast becoming an embarrassment. National tabloids were publishing their own cut out and keep guides to the scene, getting the parlance, fashion and music all hilariously wrong. Like Swinging London before it, Madchester had become a mythical creature, unrecognisable to those who had created it. Bands began to distance themselves from the whole thing, fearing the inevitable backlash and places The Hacienda and Affleck’s Palace became tourist attractions for those in search of the legendary Manchester vibe.

In this respect, Wilson’s hype backfired on him as disenchanted Manchester clubbers felt the Hacienda had lost its credibility and deserted in droves. This wasn’t the only reason why they went elsewhere though. Many regulars had become disillusioned by the Draconian door policy adopted by the club during its battle with the Greater Manchester Constabulary to keep its licence. Ostensibly this policy was implemented to prevent drug taking and selling inside the club and the bouncers were under orders to refuse entry to so-called ‘undesirables.’ This resulted in arbitrary refusals for both first time punters and hardcore regulars alike, so Manchester clubbers voted with their feet and moved onto other clubs instead,

Potentially the threat of becoming unfashionable was worse than the club’s licence being revoked. Enforced closure meant certain martyrdom whereas voluntary closure could prove an opportunity to make headlines and re-think strategy. And so, after fighting off James Anderton and his Puritan Yeomanry, Tony Wilson closed the Hacienda of his own accord in a blaze of publicity. The official reason for this unexpected event was that the lives of the club’s employees had been threatened by local gangsters. There was no denying the fact that Manchester did have a serious gang problem and that they already controlled the doors of other city nightclubs. However cynics felt that the Hacienda’s problems had been blown out of all proportion by the club’s management to smokescreen dwindling attendances. The skilfully handled press conference given by Wilson made it clear that we were witnessing the end of an era; the Cavern of the 80s was shutting up shop…but not for long.

The Hacienda dramatically reopened several months after closing. Apparently the gang warfare which only weeks ago had forced the club’s closure no longer posed a problem. This was a surprise to those people who were bombarded with ever worsening tales of Manchester’s internecine gang war, which was at its height at the time of the re-opening. Konspiracy, the club which had taken most of the Hacienda’s clientele had itself been closed due to an overbearing gang influence. This left a gap in the market and, whether it was coincidental or not, the all-new-metal-detector-no-drugs Hacienda filled a void.

That’s business, and whatever else he is, Tony Wilson is a businessman first and foremost. Factory isn’t a philanthropic enterprise run on behalf of your average-bloke-on-the-street, it’s a profit making venture. So they’re still based in Manchester when they could be in London or New York. Big deal! So they’ve opened a club and a bar in over a decade of business. Thanks a bunch! Why do they feel that they’re doing everyone a big favour by simply existing? Let’s face it, the unemployment figures wouldn’t exactly hit the roof if they uprooted.

Recognition where recognition’s due though. The Hacienda’s place in popular youth mythology is not only assured but deserved and I’ve spent many memorable nights there myself. Self-importance however, breeds a smug sense of superiority, which eventually leads to complacency and decline. No-one can take things for granted these days and the world is music is a notoriously fickle one in which to do business, as Factory, I’m sure, are only too aware.

Love him or loathe him, you can’t help admiring him. Call him Granada’s smirking granddad, call him rave culture’s Rupert Murdoch, call him the most hated man in England. Call him anything you like, the World’s Greatest Living Mancunian can rest easy in the knowledge that he’s Anthony Wilson and you’re not.

Special Hard-Up Factory Bargain Box Set Only £45 featuring all your faves…..again!!

Love Will Tear Us Apart; The L.S. Lowry Doom & Gloom 90s Remix
Blue Monday : One more time with a toss video mix remix
Wrote For Luck : The off it’s box everyone on stage dead live mix.

The Fall - The Man Who's Head Expanded

The Fall - Imperial Wax Solvent (Sanctuary)

Another year, another fucking Fall LP. With the publication of Mark E. Smith’s ‘autobiography’ and his worrying transformation into Shane MacGowan style drunkard icon, maybe it is time for fans and the band themselves to decide what the point of The Fall is.

Now, ever since Bingo Master’s Breakout I’ve been in love with the idea of The Fall rather than the reality of their music. MES’s messianic mantras spoke to those working class kids who were well read and well versed in the classic rock cannon, who knew their Burroughs and their Beefhearts but who were patronised by middle class musicians and music journalists. Smith’s contrary bigotry and aggressiveness, was designed more to provoke the liberal music press than anything else. He’s always played the role of the prole sage, the pisshead poet and reactionary rabble rouser and in doing so, has alienated band members and friends as much as the despised journalists he loves to wind up.

There’s no point attempting to analyse Smith’s lyrical hieroglyphs because he’d only sneer at such a futile exercise; he has been perverted by language and speaks only to and for himself and that’s fair enough. Yet, we can judge him and his band on their music and whilst there are moments of brilliance on Imperial Wax Solvent (see what I mean? De-cypher that fools!), there is too much on here that is simply The Fall knocking out more Fall Songs for Fall Fans with little deviation from the classic Fall formula. Which is like complaining about bread for tasting like bread I suppose.

It begins well enough with the creepily free-form Alton Towers, the ghost of Smith’s brilliant Von Sudenfed side project haunting the eerie electronic ether. But then it’s back to Fall Business As Usual. Wolf Kidult Man is typical Fall; all four four stomping drums, relentless garage riff and nonsensical Smith-isms ‘where is your momma, your power is gone!’

50 Year Old Man finds his phlegmy delivery first aired on Reformation’s ‘Over! Over!’ back and Mark sounds every day of his 50 years, growling and grumbling like the grumpy old punk he is. On and on and on he goes, informing all and sundry ‘I’m a 50 year old man’ like some OAP constantly telling you how old he is, as if staying alive in itself is some kind of achievement. After four minutes of non-stop ranting the track suddenly lurches into a banjo pickin’ hillbilly boogie before Mark begins again at half speed ’and don’t forget you tried to destroy me’ he spits, his paranoia trailing off into a fatalistic, confrontational reproach to anyone who has ever doubted him and his art (maaan). He’s a 50 year old man and he likes it, he’s a 50 year old man, what’re we gonna do about it? Er, fuck all mate. There follows an instrumental interlude and yet another song begins but it’s the same song, this is ProgFall. All in all 50YOM lasts for over 11 minutes. Infact he’s a 53 year old man by the time it ends.

I’ve Been Duped continues this ’the whole world’s against me’ tirade, this time with Mark’s latest female disciple, Eleni Poulou on vocals, doing what she did on The Wright Stuff. Like Rotten’s ‘ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated’ it rails against foes both real and imagined. It’s stated as a MES only composition yet its structure is perhaps the most traditionally poppy with y’know rhymes n’ shit. Maybe it’s meant for the charts, but if so, it’s no Hey Luciani.

Smith’s wobbly up n’ down singing style returns for a cover (about as committed to singing as he ever gets), this time on Strangetown detailing a love/hate relationship with some place that could be Los Angeles or Lower Broughton. Cosmic tumbleweed sounds blow through the streets where ‘the birds are too scared to fly.’ Definitely Salford then.

Taurig sounds like Raven era Stranglers meets Stephan Bodzin, a whispered vocal barely audible beneath the synth waves. It is fantastic.
Can Can Summer’s minimal duet with MES and Mrs and overlaid vocals ‘you are no dog’ he tells her. 'The town is anti-life, time to change back.’ Urban alienation, de-evolutionist social commentary or just the usual random words and sentences that sound meaningful but could just as well be meaningless?

At least it’s multi-layered and tech-y flirtations provide something different but then with Tommy Shooter we’re back on familiar territory. With lyrics like ‘chickens coming home to sit on your shoulder bone/ Painting yellow flowers after blowing away another balloon string/The rubbish piles up in the corridor.’ it could be an ode to a local ‘Life Of Grime’ character or just another Smith grotesque. Who cares? I have fell into the trap of attempting to decypher the words of a poet. And Smith IS above all a poet. Along with fellow Salfordians, Shaun Ryder and John Cooper Clarke, MES manages to project humour and menace in equal measure; there's definately something dark and deformed lurking in the Irwell, ready to bite anyone foolhardy enough to attempt safe passage across its slimey, sarcastic and scum encrusted waters.

Latch Key Kid begins with a bassline growling and several MES vocals stylings overlapping ‘I like to relax with tobacco and sugar’ the synth repeating the endlessly repeated ‘I’m a latch-key kid’ sloganeering. It becomes MESmerising after a few minutes but then so did the test card.
Is This New answers its own question. No, it’s the same old Fall Sound with Smith reciting one of his cut n’ paste short stories to a sprightly blinka-blink riddim. Instead of attempting to justify himself maybe Mark would be better just releasing a book of lyrics and have done with it. Take Senior Twilight Stock Replacer for example. That almost sounds like a parodic Fall title as spewed out by a Random Fall Album Track Title Generator, much like Imperial Wax Solvent itself. The imaginary job title is chanted by the whole band as if by repeating those four words they take on sinister alternative meanings or hint at hidden depths.

Closing track, Exploding Chimney erupts with stabbing metallic cut-finger chords and Banshees type shapes mutated by Smiffy’s mumbled vocals. As he says at the end with his parting shot ’he’s seen it all.’ Maybe he has and maybe he’s got nothing left to say.

As with last year’s ‘Reformation Post-TLC’ I found myself liking the songs that sounded least like the Fall which perhaps tells its own story. Much as I admire Smith’s refusal to be the media’s pet prole intellectual, he often lapses into self-parody. MES the mess; the snarling, tap room philosopher always with a sneering insult or epigram to hand. He’s obviously far more open-minded and open to new ideas than he lets on. He’s gone past the stage of proving himself a long time ago and with all kinds of people, young and of his own generation queuing up to work with him, perhaps Mark needs to break out of his own self-imposed musical and lyrical ghetto before he ends up like Morrissey.

Cafe del Classics # 3 - Central Heating (Grand Central, 1996)

Post-Madchester, Manchester’s music and clubbing scene was in the doldrums. The party was over and a sense of despondency had set in, as happens whenever any city scene captures the imagination of the pop world; think Liverpool post-65, London post-68, San Francisco post-70 or New York post-82.

Into this void stepped Fat City, a loose collective of hip hop-centric musicians, record label owners, Djs and promoters with a mission to put a spring back into Manny’s worn-out step. Exiled ‘Geordie’ (the kind of Geordie who has a public school accent) Mark Rae was the catalyst for much of this, opening the The Fat City record shop and the Grand Central record label as well as promoting various nights in the city. OK, they were by and large suburban white middle-class kids but their love for black American music was sincere and at least something was happening.

I remember going to the label’s ‘No Half Steppin’ nights and, after almost a decade of house music dominance, it was refreshing to hear a variety of different musical genres under one roof, indeed in one DJ’s set. Hip hop, funk, soul, boogie, jazz, latin, drum n’ bass all coalescing into a unified groove that transcended racial and cultural barriers. The fact that our mates were break dancing (still NOT revived at that time) there also told its own story; hip hop and the original ethos of Peace Unity Love & Having Fun was back, Jack!

Released in 1996, Central Heating was a showcase for this new cabal of beat finders and groove makers. They’d already released the Frying The Fat compilation a year earlier featuring tracks from Aim, Funky Fresh Few, Tony D and Rae & Christian, but Central Heating managed to surpass that and almost anything else available in the UK at that time. It wasn’t just the crystal clear production and the diversity of material on show, it was the sleeve-art, the confidence, the abstract feeling that, at last Manchester and indeed British music was moving forwards again, not relying on or copying Americans.

In rock, Oasis and the so-called Britpop phenomenon was making headway against US grunge but all that was a diversion, it was obsolete music made by obsolete musicians for traditionalists and Luddites. In the digital ‘real world’ THIS was Manchester’s true contribution to 90s music.

Hip hop remained at the core of Central Heating but only as a raw ingredient, the basis for a myriad of flavours. Essentially it all boiled down to the drum machine and the layers of sound added to it. Whether it was the ‘northern sulphuric soul’ of Rae & Christian’s still spine-tingling ‘Spellbound’ or the Evel Knievel hillbilly cut n’ paste of Aim’s ‘Original Stuntmaster,’ the slo-mo jazzy patter of Only Child’s ’Rain’ or Andy Votel’s creepy ‘Hemlocka,’ the luscious slo-jam soul of Scruff‘s ‘Gotta Have Her’ or the straight ahead party jams of Tony D’s ’It’s Times Two’ or Funky Fresh Few’s ’You Mean Fantastic’ there’s not one bum track on the three slabs of heavy duty vinyl (even then CDs were anathema for diggers and divvies, bonus tracks or not).

Soon a whole host of inner-city British ‘beats’ labels would spring up, capitalising on the late-90s boom for shitty sampladelic Fat Boy Slim copycats. In truth it was a pretty dreadful time yet Central Heating remains as one of, if not the best example of truly modern British music and restored a little faith in Manchester as a centre for forward-thinking, self-confident creativity.

Lovefingers? Hatethumbs!

For those yet to sample the delights of Lovefingers - a website devoted to unearthing obscure musical gems on a daily basis and providing them for you or I or yer Uncle Tommy doing a five in Walton for twatting that midnight who blew up his Spanish baccy fiddle to listen to free of charge - this is our less technologically advanced version, hilariously entitled Hate Thumbs.

That's about as funny as a joke about finding the chief constable of Manchester dead at the foot of Snowdon with a punchline that goes 'pigs can't fly.' Anyways we've cobbled together a bunch of tunes from various CDL playlists and mixes which you CAN'T fucking download for nish because that takes time and energy and possible legal agreements with various publishing companies and who can be arsed with that? But if we could do something similar to the marvellous Lovefingers (www.lovefingers.org), then these are some of the tunes we'd put up.

LOVE FINGERS

Night Of The Hunter’s Moon - Sally Oldfield (Bronze)
Tomorrow I May Not Feel The Same - Gene Chandler (Chi-Sounds)
These Are The Laws - Judy Tzuke (Rocket )
Cucumber Garden - China Crisis (Inevitable)
Bullet - Renaissance (Island)
Little Red Fry-Up - Greenslade (Warners)
Slow Down - America (Warners)
Sealed With A Kiss - Jim Capaldi (Polydor)
Trash 2 - Roxy Music (Polydor promo)
One Minute More (Version) - Tony Gee (Mass Enterprise)
We Can Make It Happen (Sexy Licks Mix) - Prince Charles & The City Beat Band
Thinking About Your Love (Instru) - Skipworth & Turner (4th & Broadway)
Only Praise (Laker Boy Mix) - Praise (Epic)
Casual Ocean - Ananta (Touchstone)
Why Can’t We Live Together - Sade (Epic)
Osamu’s Theme (Kyoko’s House) - Philip Glass
Another Willingly Opened Window - Bill Nelson (Mercury)
VCL XI - OMD (Dindisc)
Baby Dub - Charles Augin (Malaco)
Fast Car - Foxy Brown (Charm)
Year Of The Cat (album version) - Al Stewart (RCA)
Blue Café - Style Council (Polydor)
Blue Riff - Stanley Turrentine (Blue Note)
Vjento Del Arena - Gipsy Kings (Telstar)
Sweet Revenge - The New Tony Williams Lifetime (CBS)
I Want You - Carmen McRae (Atlantic)
Do It Do It - Rose Royce (Whitfield)
Lay It Down - Demis Roussos (Philips)
Let’s Turn Out The Lights - Charles Aznavour (Mfp)
Let’s Love & Feel Free - Candi Staton (Sugarhill)
Lovers (Live A Little Bit Longer) - Abba (Vogue)
Yassassin - David Bowie (RCA)
Sky – Xango
Emerson Lake & Palmer – Take a Pebble
Shakti – Bridge of Sighs/George Carlin – People I Can Do Without
Peter Green – Skabo Day
Clive John – Summer Song
Focus – Crackers
Curved Air – Back Street Luv
John Martyn – Big Muff
The Neville Brothers – With God On Our Side
Traffic – Don’t Be Sad
Alan Parsons Project – Dream Within A Dream
John Travolta – Easy Evil
Nazareth – Morning Dew (Prins Thomas Edit)
Lynsey Buckingham – Johnny Stew
The Beach Boys – Long Promised Road
London Symphony Orchestra – Life On Mars
A Foreign Place - Japan (Hansa)
Secret Party - Masami Tsuchiya (Epic)
On My Own (Robin Guthrie version) - Ulrich Schnauss (Independiente)
All Of Me - Swell Session v Mark De Clive-Lowe (Freerange)
Be Suspicious - China Crisis (Inevitable)
Discover Your Life - Stylus (Prodigal)
East 6th St - Aquarian Dream (Buddah)
Sittin’ In The Park - Bobby Thurston (Epic)
Swimming (Dub Mix) - Nick Holder Feat Zaki (NRK)
Open Your Heart (Dub) - Madonna
Murphy’s Law (Instru) - Cheri (Venture)
Trust In Me - Vicki Sue Robinson (RCA)
Crocodile (Innervisions Orchestra Mix) - Underworld (Different)
Salacid - Luke Vibert (Planet Mu)
I’m Corrupt - Kid Creole (Ze)
Come On - The Real People (CBS)
Straight Lines - Suzanne Vega (A&M)
Attitude Dancing - Carly Simon (Elektra)
Letting Go - Wings (Capitol)
An infinite number of monkeys - Bob Newhart (Warners)
No Sound In Space - Tomita (RCA)
Bliss - Chick Corea (Happy Bird)
Twilight Of Idols - Fashion (De Stijl)
Inspiration - Grace Jones (Island)
Je T’aime (Moi Non Plus) - Donna Summer (Casablanca)
At Tension - Hall & Oates (RCA)
Floating Seeds - Ozric Tentacles (Snapper)
Fohat Digs Holes In Space - Gong (Virgin)
Moongerms - Billy Cobham (Atlantic)
Jacaranda - Sailor (Epic)
Toyota City - Human League (Virgin)
Herbie Hancock - The Eye Of The Hurricane (Blue Note)
I Feel Sanctified - The Commodores (Motown)
Space Princess - Lonnie Liston Smith (Columbia)
Big Change In The Weather - Gerry Rafferty (UA)
More Girls - Moments & Whatnauts (All Platinum)
No Matter What Sign You Are - Diana Ross & The Supremes (Motown)
Tell The Truth - Ike & Tina Turner (Warner Bros)
The Burning Sword Of Capua - Triumvirat (Harvest)
Don’t You Feel Small - The Moody Blues (Threshold)
Naked - Shackleton (Skull Disco)
Happy Monday (September Mix) - Undo (Factorcity)
I Remember You - The Eurythmics (RCA)
Italian Song - Jon & Vangelis (Polydor)
Fisherman’s Daughter - Daniel Lanois (Opal)
Wholly Humble Heart - Martin Stephenson & The Daintees (Kitchenware)
Only Love Can Break Your Heart - Elkie Brooks (A&M)
In A Stranger’s Arms - Yvonne Elliman (RSO)
Day Or Night - Little Feat (Warners)
Affirmation - George Benson (Warners)
The Hustler - Crusaders (MCA)
Watch It Go - Summer (Touchstone)
Zambo Montuno - Daiquiri (Sono-tone)
White Witch - Andrea True Connection (Buddah)
Magnetic Fields Part 4 - Jean Michel Jarre (Polydor)
Let It Happen (Instrumental) - Lindstrom (Feedelity)
River People - Weather Report (CBS)
Outer Space - Atmosfear (Elite)
Cicero Park - Hot Chocolate (RAK)
Life’s A Beach (Todd Terje mix) - Studio
Starry Eyes - LCD Sound system (DFA)
Let’s Go All The Way (Diamond Dub Mix) - Sly Fox (Capitol)
The Gospel (Instrumental) - Dizzi Heights (Parlophone)
Crimson As Murder (Punks Jump Up Can U Dance Remix) David Gilmore Girls (Relish)
A Brass Band In African Chimes - Simple Minds (Virgin)
Don’t Burn Down The Bridge - Gladys Knight & The Pips (Buddah)

HATE THUMBS

Lindisfarne - Clear White Light
Caravan - Aristocracy
The Higsons - Touchdown
Silver Apples - A Pox On You
Bill Hicks - LA Falls
Incredible String Band - Water Song
The Yardbirds - White Summer
Mercury Rev - Lincoln’s Eyes
D’arcangelo - Stepping Out
Aril Brikha - Anna’s Theme
Laurent Garnier - M-Bass
The Jam - Ghosts
Fun Boy 3 - The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum
King Biscuit Time - Kwangchow
Lenny Bruce - To Is A Propisition, Come Is A Verb
Urban Tribe - Frequency Scan
Aleksi Perala - Black Leicester
Ceephax - Dreamer
Four Tet - My Angel Rocks Back & Forth (Icarus Remix)
Technasia - Eternity Is Almost Forever
Mudd - Crayfish & Deer
Lindstrom & Prins Thomas - Nummer Fire To
Andreas Vollenweider – Over the Wall, under the gardens, behind the tree
Dufus – Right On
Seals & Crofts – Sweet Green Fields
Paul Simon – Diamonds (Terje Dub)
Akabu – Akabu Theme
Simply Red – Love Fire (Big Red Mix)
Jerry Harrison – Worlds In Collision
George Carlin – People I Can Do Without/Steve Hillage – Octave Doctors
Map of Africa – Bone
Cal Tjader/Charlie Byrd – Tambu
The Sorcerer – Surfing At Midnight/Cheech & Chong – Lardass
A R Kane – Love from Outer Space
John Paul Young – Standing In The Rain
Magick Edit Allstars – Voices
Beyond The Wizards Sleeve – Bubble Burst
Mary McCaslin - Blackbird
Mtume - Breathless (Intro)
Dead Can Dance - Music Eternal
Roxy Music - Sultanesque
Giorgio Moroder - Leopard Tree Dream
Hawkwind - Opa Loka
Eurythmics - Monkey Monkey
Fehlfarben - Jar Jar (Es Geht Voran)
Des Allstar - Gone West
ROC - Cheryl
Gramme - Rehab
Steve Hillage - Unidentified (Flying Being)
Patrick Moraz - Impact
Fashion - Alternative Playback (Full Frame)
Dance Disaster Movement - The Shots
D.A.F - Der Rauber Und Der Prinz
Tangerine Dream - Fly & Collision of Solas
Propaganda - Dr Mabuse (A Snatch Thereof)
Mark Stewart - Contagious
Wendy Carlos - William Tell Overture (Abridged)
Les Nouvelles Polyphonies - Introitu
Daniel Lanois - Still Water
Tommy Guerrero - 100 Years
Cat Stevens - The Hurt
Steve Winwood - Spanish Dancer
B+ - B Beat Classic
Carole King - Spaceship Races
Robert Wyatt - To Mark Everywhere/Monty Python & the Holy Grail
Money Mark - Maybe I‘m Dead
Herbie Mann - Toot Stick
Coldcut - Autumn Leaves (Irresistible Force Mix)
Horace Andy - Girl I Love You
Jon & Vangelis - State of Independence
Steely Dan - Black Cow
Rhythm Heritage - Skippin‘
Demis Roussos - Let It Happen
High Feelings - Leave Norway
Thompson Twins - Vendredi Saint
Parliament - Presence Of A Brain
Neil Diamond - Crunchy Granola Suite
Steve Miller Band - Wild Mountain Honey
Poco - Sitting On A Fence
Sutherland Bros & Quiver - When The Train Comes
The Mighty Flyers - Blood For Blood
Four Seasons - New York Street Song (No Easy Way)
Steely Dan - FM (Reprise)
Peter Frampton - Doobie Wah
Cher - Flashback
Little Feat - Two Trains
The James Gang - Walk Away
ELO - Last Train To London
Billy Joel - Get It Right First Time
The J. Geils Band - Flamethrower
Boz Scaggs - Lido Shuffle
10cc - Blackmail
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around The Bend
Chicago - What’s This World Coming To
Bread - Fancy Dancer
Dr Hook - Doin’ It
Robert Palmer - Fleshwound
Elkie Brooks - Nightbird
The Alan Parsons Project - The Voice
America - Sandman
Wishbone Ash - Time Was

Allez Allez

Best Of Allez Allez - Allez Allez (Eskimo)

Only the other day I bought a ropey compilation, mainly for a Vince Montana track but the stand-out tune was Allez Allez’s ‘Flesh & Blood’ with its ‘You Should Be Dancing’ horn coda and early 80s scratchy white funk. To be honest, Allez Allez must’ve passed me by, so I did a spot of googling and youtubing and the very next day this compilation was posted from the good people at epm. Serendipity? Co-incidence? Or something much stranger? Who gives a fuck?

Anyways, this compilation is a must for anyone with a penchant for post-punk faux funk. Opener, African Queen sounds so much like Grace Jones circa Nightclubbing that I think it’s perhaps a tribute to Queen Grace herself.

Allez Allez has a lyric that sounds like “Help me, help me, Gary Barlow!” I’m sure it doesn’t say that but it should. It’s ace and gets two remixes from heroes of the hour, Aeroplane and Lindstrom & Prince Harry of Helmand.

She’s Stirring Up has elements of Debbie Harry’s shite rapping on Rapture set to a frantic Haircut 100 backbeat whereas Marathon Dance is Defunkt meets the Gang Of Four with a splash of Talking Heads thrown in for good measure.

Turn Up The Meter is a Rip Rig & Panic meet UB40 style groove and Valley Of The Kings is the sort of corny cod-Egyptian concept track T‘Pau would‘ve based a whole double album around.

Wrap Your Legs (Around Your Head) is of course a play on the Gap Band’s ‘Oops Upside Your Head’ but in its delivery sounds far closer to the great bootboy chant ‘Boots Wrapped Round Yer Head.‘ Were Allez Allez familiar with the mating rituals of the Anny Road or the Scoreboard Paddock? I certainly hope so but somehow doubt it.

Flesh & Blood is next in all its magnificent slinky disco glory with a vocal that sounds like Billy MacKenzie fucking Minnie Ripperton and a boss mandolin solo competing with a cartoon woggawoggawogga sound effect.
Next comes the remixes. Quiet Village do their Quiet Village thing on African Queen, stripping back almost every element to leave the bare bones of a tune, which is, let’s face it, what Quiet Village are so good at. It never really gets going or goes anywhere but does so delightfully with eerie jungle sounds and monastic chants. Like staring at flock wallpaper without blinking, it becomes hypnotic after a few minutes.

The Aeroplane remix of Allez Allez does that Aeroplane thing that Aeroplane do so well, creating a gorgeous piano house groove that goes on for several centuries before the black plague kills everyone horrifically. Next up we have Optimo (Espacio) doing their Optimo (Escapio) thing on a ’Drum Attack’ mix of She’s Stirring Up which stretches the groove so far that it circles the sun and comes home in time for tea (fish fingers with winter mash).

Lindstrom & Prince Michael of Kent complete the Eskimo All-Star remix challenge with another rather L&PT-centric remix of Allez Allez. For the life of me it sounds exactly like a Lindstrom & Prince Nazeem Hamid remix of an Allez Allez track called Allez Allez track should sound like. The descending piano riff gets its coat on, takes the dog for a walk and makes a packed lunch for the old folk down the road’s day-trip to Llandudno before climbing onboard a bus, going to town for a browse around Primark and having a swift bevvy in the Beehive before calling in on his cousin to watch The Wire series three in one sitting.

Or something.

As St Etienne fans once sang ’Allez Les Verts’ but that’s neither here nor there.

April Fool's Rekkid Reviews

Mental Overdrive - You Are Being Manipulated (Love OD/Smalltown Supersound)

This could well be a lesson in how electronic music has evolved over the past 30 years, from the proggy opener, Intro through old skool electro (Elephantastic), Euro-disco (Europa), synth-pop (R.I.P.P.E.R), house (Run To The Hills), techno (Spooks) and break beat (Original Material) You Are Being Manipulated, whether consciously or not, tends to unfold chronologically track by track until Molina’s Theme where it devolves back to Italo and proggy flavoured moodscapes with Mysterio and the epic The Rage. By the time of closing track, End, we’ve touched almost every conceivable electronic marker and back again which is credit to Per Martinsen’s taste and dedication to pushing boundaries whilst openly acknowledging his influences.

Release date 28 May

Bochum Welt - R.O.B (Robotic Operating Buddy) (Rephlex)

A 2 x CD release that could almost be a parody of Rephlex’s techno-nerd tendencies, what with its perhaps self-deprecating title (Robotic Operating Buddy? Come on!) and Rephlexesque pseudo-scientific un-titles such as 8221SB, DR2D and HC-012 (maybe he’s in competition with Autechre) yet there is greatness to be gleaned from these grooves. CD one features new tracks and mixes and after a regulation android-tech-funk start with Flag, the tone becomes more melodic and ambient, but in a good way. R.O.B is the sort of music to seduce a toaster to. The second CD compiles rarities from Bochum’s back catalogue and with 20 tracks called things like Avtomaticesk, B2, Paph and Feelings On A Screen we‘re in familiar territory. Never a genre that’s gonna convert anyone but the most hardcore of post-tech noiseniks, nevertheless we should still be happy that people such as Gianluigi Di Constanzo are providing a travelogue to the outer edges of the sonic universe.

Release date 7th April

Low Motion Disco - Love Love Love Part 1 & 2 (Eskimo)

Like Fernando Torres, Low Motion Disco are Eskimo’s hot new signings that will brighten up an otherwise up n’ down season. With mixes from the likes of Still Going, Aeroplane, LSB and Soft Rocks to accompany the original version this is an opening salvo worthy of El Torro himself. Perfectly in keeping with the blissy-hissy nu balearia blueprint, Love Love Love is set to rock floors all summer long. LSB’s mix grafts pulsating disco strings and a Do Ya Think I’m Sexy coda for a chuggy mid-tempo groover whilst Soft Rocks go for an even more sedated Boz Scaggsy vibe but it’s the superb Aeroplane mix that really rocks my yacht Roman. We love Love Love Love here kidda.

Release date 21st April

Bliss - Big Freeze Volume 2 (Platipus)

This double CD is so chilled even wooly mammoths would be asking for lecky blankets. Now I’ve got a lot of time for ye olde chille oute scene, as guest DJ at many Big Chill events and a residency at Tromso Public Baths between October and February, I know what it’s like to play Boards Of Canada records to crowds of frost-bitten frenzied Lapps but this is something else. Bliss - fuck all to do with that bint from Faithless - give us a compilation that effortlessly fuses their classical roots with contemporary and classic pieces from the likes of Cantoma, Dubtribe Soundsystem, Mudd, Trentemoller and Charles Webster. To be honest, these compilations are becoming a tad predictable with the same old names appearing with alarming regularity, as if all those Ibiza Chill/Marks & Spencer Ambient Moods Vol 5/Lidl Sunset Strip Classics 37 never happened. That isn’t to say it’s not expertly programmed and pleasurable to listen to just a bit zzzzzzzzz.

Release date 14th April

Thanks to Jonas at epm for review copies.

Talacre FM Jukebox

Alien - Japan (Hansa)
Hills of Katmandu (played at 33 rpm pitched up to plus 8) - Tantra (Automatic)
House Of The King - Focus (Polydor)
Total Panic - Human League (Virgin)
Boo’s Boogie - Betty Boo (Rhythm King)
The Women - Village People (Mercury)
Back Together Again - Hall & Oates (RCA)
You & I Part 2 - Fleetwood Mac (Warners)
Crazy Pages - John Glover (Electric Record Co)
Dig Dis - Hank Mobley (Blue Note)